ego and what you think you are saying.

i had a conversation recently with a client about his luck with women and i asked him how he approached them. he told me that he felt it was important to be as honest as possible with a woman, and tell them as much as possible about himself and what he does so that the woman would be impressed with his job and accomplishments,etc. he went on to say that he believed that a woman wants to know how consciencious he was about health, diet and excercize and about his hobbies like mountain biking and lifting wieghts.
he was disappointed when i told him that women could care less about those things and that if he continued to bore her with the details she would drink her drink and leave.
women want to feel good. men want to feel good. men`s egos get in the way of this process.
a woman will listen to you describe her good feelings back to her all night long. she will laugh and smile and you will feel good too.
how do you know what her good feelings are?
she will tell you if she trusts you enough to make eye contact and listen to your voice.
my client learned that in a few minutes a woman will describe in precise detail how she derives pleasure from any situation imaginable. all you have to do is give her the opportunity to tell you about it.
what she sees, what she hears and what she feels are all part of her internal world, precisely the way she wants it to be. she will tell you exactly what she wants to hear and how you can create it for here in real time.
it becomes a story-telling. she will sit forever to listen, if you do it right. she will see the things you want her to look at, she will hear the sounds you want her to listen too and most importantly, she will feel the feelings you provide for her to feel.
i will repeat that last bit. SHE WILL FEEL THE FEELINGS YOU PROVIDE HER TO FEEL.
is it manipulative? yes.
is it a powerful tool for buliding lasting relationships? yes.
is it what you want?
well, if you want someone who is glad to be with you, wants to be with you and please you like you please her, then the answer is yes.
there are critics.
generally the tired, bitchy, complaining types that are going to suggest that a person who communicates like this is taking advantage of a woman in her vulnerability.
this couldn`t be futher from the truth.
a soulmate is someone who talks the same language as you do. if you take the time learn and practice how to speak a person`s personal language you are communicating soul to soul. we all want to communicate this way. here`s the opportunity.