Tuesday, April 21, 2009

on a more positive note.......

......i understand that you are mostly confused about um, everything. money, sex, politics, religion, spirituality...etc, and i know what you are thinking, "what the fuck does this guy know that i don`t"?

well...the answer is that i find a way back to happiness.....by choice.


in spite of all the reasons to be depressed and anxious and dissapointed about just about everything, i find myself enjoying life just about every day, and enthusiastic about what lies ahead.

some of what i`m going to say next will seem familiar, some of it will seem somewhat different.....and some of it will seem impossible.

it is nonetheless the way things are.

1)if you keep ddoing the same old thing, you will get more of the same old thing in response.

2)if you watch tv and read newspapers you will learn new ways to be fat and stupid and dissapointed every day. there is always someone brighter and shinier and fresher and richer than you being featured and photographed having a whale of a time while our taxes go up and our property values go down and our kids are being shown how to smoke dope in public while we cling to our shit jobs with our finger tips.......

....see what i mean?

3)cut your food intake in half and don`t eat anything after 7.30pm.

4)smile at a stranger at least once a day. that means a new stranger. every day. and smile more to yourself while you work and walk and drive and ride. find shit to smile about. search stupid jokes on the internet if you have to. just smile more often. it`ll become a habit pretty soon and people will smile back, i promise.

5) exercise a little. not like me, i`m freak. some sort of obsessive/compulsive about soccer, weights, cycling and hiking..but maybe you might find yourself doing something you never thought possible....really soon.

6) get a cat. unless you are allergic or travel for a living, in which case the cat would get lonely. cats are really relaxing, sleek, sensual creatures that, if you mirror thier behaviour, will turn you into a relaxed, sensual, sleek creature yourself.

don`t get a cat if you are a demanding control freak who needs absolute obedience from your pets. a cat will show you it`s ass and you will get angry.

my cat completely owns my girlfriend`s cocker-poo (don`t ask) the stupid dog just follows the cat around waiting for it to move quickly so that it can try to catch him....at which time the cat goes into hyperdrive and as far as the dog is concerned, vanishes.

very amusing.

7) right now, get out of your chair and jump up and down and yell fuck at the top of your lungs for a minute or so.

8) and tomorrow, because i believe it`s eath day, resist the urge to do anything that is supposed to save the planet. for fuck`s sake think for yourself for a minute. what could we possibly do to "save" a giant ball of cooling metal that is whizzing through space at 60,000 miles an hour?

let`s start thinking about saving ourselves.....






9)give yourself a break, go get laid, flirt with your wife or girlfriend or husband or boyfriend...or go find someone new to flirt with.

do this now.

ok, that`s 9 things. i will post the tenth one if i get some reposes to this.

now, go outside. that`s enough sitting indoors staring at a little screen in a dark room.

and by the way, if you did number 7, i love you man.....

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