clowns.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080118/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_britain_clowns

my two children, boys 9 and 11 both said that they found clowns weird and my youngest said he thought they were scary.

they added santa, one or two of thier school teachers, steve from across the street and one soccer coach and boy scout leaders who wear shorts to the list.

razor sharp perception from my two.

bike ride.

i rode to milton yesterday. the ride is mostly hills and valleys and made me realise how much i missed this type of riding, as i mostly ride on the flat in town and into toronto.

the weather was perfect for a winter ride. just a few degrees above freezing and little wind to speak of.

as i climbed up and out of suburbia for the first time in, well, i forget the last time i was away from the tract homes and consumer traffic......i realised how much i missed the raw landscape that i was now surrounded by.

the mystical envelope that now enveloped me was made up of rock faces and pine trees and two lane black top and my shifting neurology due to the much missed exertion due to pushing the pedals.

i felt a drawing into all of this existance and a certain knowledge of my place as included, accepted and welcomed.

i laughed outloud a few times is i cranked up the hills and around the twists and bends into the creekbeds and across the edge of the escarpment that seperates the lakeside communities from the halton hills......and soon i emerged into the new emerging community of milton, the new bedroom community for the teeming metropolis to the west, toronto.

the same suburban spasm that is occuring in burlington is also occuring in milton with equal intensity, and with it will bring a commercial prosperity and unprecedented growth and opportunity.

that being said, it will still be necessary to get away from it occasionally to recharge and see the futility in such an existance.

i rode back with a sort of sadness, knowing that i had to descend back into the suburban ghetto once again, but comfortable in the knowledge that the unspoiled escarpment awaits my return.

beautiful morning.

i woke this morning prematurely to the insistant digital chime of my alarm clock.

i had been up until late last night mentally pacing over the events of yesterday with it`s delightfully contrasting messages of both opportunity and anxiety.

once my eyes grew accustomed to the brightness upon my less-than-rested eyes i realised the beauty of what greeted me out the window.

the sun was shining.

that was what was so different.

we have had such unseasonably warm weather of late that most hadn`t realised that we hadn`t seen the sun in weeks.

seeing it made me realise that and i was struck by the sheer beauty of everything lit by the sun`s warming rays.

the bare trees and the roof-tops and the glowing white bricks of the apartment buildings rising out of the ground in the near distance all seemed almost surreal in this unfamiliar light.

i was smiling before i realised.

i`m sure that over time i will lose the sense of wonder of today, but for now i will immerse myself in it`s gifts.

for christ`s sake people.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080115/ap_on_sp_ba_ne/bbo_congress_steroids

we don`t have a steroid problem.

we have a bureaucrat problem.

the tiresome endless rhetoric from all sides in this witch hunt is painful to sit through....so i don`t for the most part.

but occasionally i see an article which captures the tone of the problem.

this is a huge waste of tax-payer money and a wild goose chase that will solve nothing and ruin lives into the bargain.

bureaucrat heaven.

there is not on single benifit that this process provides at the end of the day either.

it ruins careers, team morale, and artificially effects the nature of sport.

the use of steroids has been common in sport for thousands of years. the greeks and romans were aware that certain compounds derived from roots herbs would allow a man to get sronger and recover more quickly from training and injury.

just look at some of the statues in the cities of greece and rome to see my point.

this witch hunt has decimated the whole attitude of the sport of cycling, with major sponsors pulling money out of fears of damage to thier image.

and don`t tell me that people actually care about the damage athletes do to themselves with steroids.......

this is another arificially created problem that bureaucrats can then use to feather thier nests and call in thier buddies to feed also.

the athlete always seeks to gain advantage......and fair has nothing to do with it in the least.

genetics isn`t fair.

i am feet two inches tall with a 45 bpm resting heart rate. i was born with this ability. add this to my years of training and focus makes me naturally able to ride a bike and to do well at athletics that i choose to participate in.

i was always chosen first or second when picking teams.....

is this cheating?

when allowed, people always make teams comprised of the best available athletes and those athletes are genetically superior and have trained and dieted the best also.

i chose on many occasions not to do steroids because i didn`t understand them and didn`t trust the use, but many athletes that i knew did them and got noticable benifits as a result.

and there are many other substances that athletes ingest that will provide advantage, mentally and physically.

steroids will never enhance the ability of the mind though.

you can prepare the body perfectly and still fail on race day if the mind isn`t prepared.

and that 95% of the job.

but that`s another story.

look.

you are being shown something.

you can`t see?

i know.

it takes effort to see.

to be aware of the consistant message being aimed at you.

most never get to the point where they can even begin to even try to look.

but you`ve been trying.

otherwise you wouldn`t have read this far.

so, what`s next?

more looking.....and eventually you will see......or not.

next time you are in the grips of some anxiety, try to remember what i`m going to say next.

relax, and really look at what it is that you are being asked to look at.

because it is in these times of extreme anxiety that we are closest to seeing.

these words heal.

http://thesewordsheal.blogspot.com/

my new project for 2008.

the healing power of words.

cut and paste the "these words heal" graphic and post it wherever you wish and repeat when necessary.

sir edmund.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080110/ap_on_re_au_an/obit_edmund_hillary

as were many schoolboys growing up in england, i was enthralled by the story of sir edmund hillary and sherpa tenzing`s climb up mt. everest.

they became the first to climb to the top.

sir edmund passed away today, leaving this planet with one less hero.

hmm. ironic how we don`t miss people until they`re gone.

i had to laugh.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080110/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/fbi_unpaid_phone_bills

keystone cops ride again.

mildly political.

aren`t you all on the edge of your seats over this election thingy in the u.s.?

well stop it.

you aren`t normally this gullable, so why now?

clinton?

come on people, grow a brain and turn it off.

someone will tell you what happened when it`s over.

meanwhile you can do something important.

like something pleasureable with people you like.

just a thought.

a man of god.

we are all men of god.......

if one of us is.

there is no division.

how can there be?

and why should there be a division anyway?

we are all part of one thing.

chinook.

the eskimos have a word for it.

that should be a clue to the suburban robots that this is a known phenomenon.

the january melt is characterised by a dramatic rise in air temperature and moderate winds, which together contribute to the melting of the ice and snow lying on the ground.

this event has happened at this time of year for centuries, so much so that indigenous peoplea are familiar with it.

yet the enviro-twits keep saying that this is further evidence of a man-made shift in global temperatures.

chinook means snow-eater in the eskimo language.

i have spent the last few minutes enjoying the warm breeze as i stood on my balcony looking north and west, and hoping that the warm air will stay with us for a while longer yet.

and i didn`t worry for a moment that the ecosystem would collapse any minute.

new year`s resolutions.

did you make one?

have you made one in the past?

i have to say that i`ve never made them in the past.

i guess i never felt the need nor saw the point.

this year i was compelled to make a resolution in a rather odd and convoluted way.

some months ago a friend asked me to host a group ceremony for new year`s eve, culminating in an evocation ceremony to welcome in the new year.

plans fell through for the party and so i was left without plans for the last day of 2007.

as life has a habit of doing, i was pleasantly suprised when a friend invited me to her place for a quiet night over drinks......

i was quick to accept her offer.

when i arrived she announced that her friend would be joining us and wanted to do a special ritual for the new year.

coincedance?

there are none, my faithful readers.

the three of us wrote out new year`s wish on a piece of paper which we each then burned in a candle flame, dropping the ash into our champagne glasses......and as the last few seconds of 2007 counted down we toasted to the new year with the magic potion.

i haven`t spoken to the two girls since but i can tell you that my new year`s resolution is well on the way to completion, and as a result the closing of one door is allowing the opening of several new doors that i will be more than eager to walk through in 2008.

resolve is a powerful thing.

fair?

life is not fair.

good.

could you imagine if it was?

dick-heads.

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2007/12/sleep_deprivation?mbid=yhp

perfect for the work-crazed consumer.

a spray to counter the effects of not sleeping, so that one can function "normally".

psychiatrists have evolved from process analysts, keen to help people with thier emotions, toward drug dealers using dope to mask problems for robot consumers long enough for them to make more money to buy more stuff.........for a little while longer.

nothing to worry about then.

thanks darpa.

what is hypnosis.

i have no idea.

what i have experienced in my work that my clients tell me what they think hypnosis is, and so i can share some of thier feelings with certain knowledge about what they feel.

many of my clients experience relaxation, time distortion (the session seemed as if it took minutes, when it was half an hour or more.) movie-like sights and sound, profound changes in perception, experiencing remarkable things (hot sand and sun, cool water, friendly tigers.......) and many more incredible things.

the trance induction could be characterised as a state of fantasy or hallucination that seems absolutely real and seamless to the subject, and i am constantly suprised at how good my clients are at creating such remankable states.

as i said before that i have no idea what hypnosis is, and this is true.

science is ambivalent on the subject.

scientists love to pronounce thier final understanding of hypnosis occasionally, but they still haven`t figured out what my clients know as experts; that the human mind is the master of it`s own reality.

and science can`t measure that.

what is fear?

fear is a trigger.

it is made up of memories of similar events to the one you are fearful of now.

you are pre-supposing that what you are experiencing now is the same as the experiences that went before.

and you are wrong.

when you take a moment and realise that what you are experiencing now is a unique opportunity to react differently to what may appear to be a familiar frightening situation, you can choose to react differently.

relax for a moment.

learn something new about yourself.

breathe.

smile.

move fluidly and with purpose.

three things you never did out of a fear reaction before.

did you feel differently as a response?

well, this is the beginning of conquering what you though was a fear.

a new environment to exist in that will begin to set you free.

well, here we are.

2008 is upon us and with it comes the snow.

i visited with an angel last night and through into this morning.

we talked and joked and laughed and dined and drank, and finally ended up down by the lake, watching the water crash onto the boardwalk, while the snow blew all around us safe and warm inside her car.

we ritually turned our backs on 2007 and all that didn`t work then pledged to let all the abundance resonate with our intentions and actions for the the coming year.

as the first few rays of morning sun attempted to push back the chill of the night`s storm i climbed from her car and an evening`s spell broke.

i felt a physical pull on my soul.

i must remain unattached, but yet so grateful.

for her, as well as for me.

until the next time.

out with the old.

and good riddance.

2008, while merely a string of events created by the rotation of our planet in relation to the sun, offers the delightful thought of the potential for positive outcomes.

so let`s build a frame of optimism with this in mind and say to fuck with 2007.

i, for one, am betting on it.

is google the government?

an aquaintance of mine has a son who works for google.

the man visited his son recently and went to the offices of google with his boy.

during the telling of the visit i was struck with the sheer scope of control that google has over our networking activities.

each communication from ip to ip is mapped on a screen in the boys office in a flow of arcing connections from point to point on a giant screen on the wall.

there is also another screen showing the adress numbers of those making searches in real time that just whizzes along.

what is this all in aid of ?, one has to ask.

monitoring activity.

the new police state won`t need cameras.

am i paranoid?

yep.

we bank on-line, we entertain on-line, we research on-line, we hunt on-line, we consume on-line.

so if we are tracked during these periods then those who monitor our activities can predict and control our behaviour.

so if the government isn`t google, then it will soon try to be.

i suggest it already is.

is google the government?

a definition of intellect.

i read a definition of intellect some years ago that appeals to me to this day.

a measure of intellect is the ability to be able to hold two or more different views in mind for discussion, without judgement.

this mechanism allows me to read women`s magazines and liberal politics and so on without judgement long enough to gain some understanding of thier points of view.

recently i read alvin toffler`s eco-spasm, in an attempt to understand liberal views of the neccesity of tax increases as a hedge against inflation, and while i still disagree with the entirety of big government and the bureaucracy that emerges....i reluctantly see the point of controlling money in a closed system.

my view is that money in the form we understand it is the bars on a cage that holds us all in feudal conscription........but that`s just me.

oh, and another thing that struck me the other day......is google the government?

heading for 2008.

as we head for 2008 be prepared for what you expect.

it always happens that way, and so if you want someting different you have to expect a change.

in fact, as you sit at the keyboard realise that everything that you have been expecting has led you to this point.

staggering when you think this way, even for a moment.

the possibilities are exhilerating.

just wait until you try the absolute certainties.

merry winter solstice.............

and santa and satan have something in common.

both are used to get children to behave.

and the letters re-arrange nicely in eaches name to spell the other.

and you never see them in the same place together.

the meta man.

http://trance-formulation.blogspot.com/2007/12/meta-man.html

next door the meta-man is emerging.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071211/hl_nm/cancer_meat_dc

but, how much red meat constitutes a cancer risk?

i know of people who are eating pounds of the stuff on a regular basis.

are they the ones running the risk, or is it those of us who eat a hamburger or two a week and occasionally have a steak and a shot or two of bourbon to celebrate our masculinity?

or is this more fear-mongering from the vegan camp?

new blog.

http://trance-formulation.blogspot.com/

for all the thoughts that are too large for hypgnosys........or something.

see you there, and let me know what you think now.

censorship.

http://www.quillandquire.com/blog/index.php/2007/11/22/the-golden-compass-banned-by-catholic-school-board/

ok, so in reading the comments posted in reaction to the news on this site, one can see that the book wasn`t banned.

it was removed from the shelves and placed behind the desk of the librarian where one only had to ask for the title by name and it would be provided......with a smile.

not censorship then.

good.

i`m relieved.

my children could, with full confidence, approach the librarian and request the aforementioned title, and recieve it with approval.

subtle.

the golden compass.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp

it is interesting that in all the criticisms of this movie, the book series it came from and the author`s cosmology point to the methodologies that the god cults themselves use to indoctrinate children into thier ideology.

the many critics try to make the distinction between pullman`s position and that of the church as the difference between fiction and fact.

the traditional church view is that there is a seperate god in heaven and that there are rules to follow and so on, and some of it just makes sense as a way to live in a modern society, but......maybe the big seperate god in heaven thing is just childhood fantasy, and one on equal footing with the ones laid out in pullman`s books.

so why are school boards banning his books right here in canada and elsewhere.?

now?
today?
as we speak?

because this is the on-going battle of the minds of our impressionable children........the adults of the next generation of our society......and if the powers-that-be want things to continue to be corporate and bureaucratic and so on, then we need to believe in a corporate and bureaucratic god seperate from ourselves that sits in judgement and sees

everything

and if small children can kill this being, then what hope does a government full of graft and corruption that offers us gun control legislation, casinos, and privately-run highways have in the face of a new generation of voters who have already stood up to this bullshit....?

but it`s all just a childhood fantasy you say. the golden compass is just a movie.

well, yes it is. and so is the bible. you first read it when you were a little child. you can still see the comic-book versions from sunday school that got the pictures in your mind effectively of all the bearded guys and fishing boats and lambs and sheep........

so we are kept as children through superstition.

and when someone pokes a hole through the comic-book and says "here`s another idea" the people who make the comic books get upset.

otherwise, why the censorship?

censorship of a tale told about children standing up to the tyranny of the misisterium.

after all, it`s what we all want to do anyway.

a reminder.

in listening to a lecture by alan watts to ibm managers i was reminded of a distinction he made between mechanisms and organisms.

he said that mechanisms can be assembled and dis-assembled part by part with little or no damage to the device, whereas an organism has to be dealt with as a whole or it can be damaged irreparably.

yet scientists and engineers continue to damage organisms thinking they are mechanisms.

alan warned the ibm people almost 40 years ago that if they and others continued to do this that they would destroy organisms such as the environment or people or cultures within a few short years.

and here we are taking a mechanical approach to problem solving, whereas the solution is organic.

drugging people and selling carbon credits..............

instead of councelling people and reducing consumption.

but that would be too easy, wouldn`t it?

and so.....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071204/ennew_afp/entertainmentfilmreligionusbritain

......the story goes........

it`s like the kettle calling the pot black, as my dad would say.

of some concern.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071130/ap_on_re_af/sudan_british_teacherg

if this is the product of islamic fundementalism under sharia, we should be concerned that this sort of sentiment won`t arise amongst fundies of greater technological and tactical means (again.)............

this sort of incedent continues to underscore the savage agression generated by such extreme beliefs and political structure.

a deadly combination, and one that until recently was quietly forming amongst the muslim communities in canada.

sharia, for those in need of a definition, is a muslim legal system fun by clerics strictly adhering to extereme fundemental muslim law.

for those charged under this system the expectation is one of savage corporal punishment, ranging from whippings to stonings to amputations.

all in the name of a happy community.

in canada recently people charged and found guilty in sharia courts were abducted and taken back to complicit muslim countries for punishment.

don`t you just love multi-culturalism.

unconditional love........for the self.

this is a concept that some have a hard time coming to grips with.

i will say it this way for fear of seeming dramatic or whatever;

all of the problems in the world between people are caused by our inability to love ourselves.

unconditionally.

that is; without the thought of doing harm to the self.

out of this form of thinking comes all the moral and ethical solutions that our society struggles with.

when you are "in" love with yourself, then it is impossible to bring harm to others.

at this point one realises that there are times when harm comes to yourself and to others through situations that arise from time to time, but these are rare situations that warrant special attention from outside agencies such as family and friends and co-workers etc.

the moral and ethical solutions to societies problems are solved mostly through inaction.

don`t rob banks.

don`t start fights or arguements.

don`t resist the urge to be friendly to others.

don`t be greedy and strive for political office.

these are simplifications.

some of the more serious issues are things like;

forgive yourself.

forgive others.

accept the fact that we are all human and we make mistakes all the time.

in fact, most of everything that we do is "wrong", but who`s to judge.......so just do it again. or do something else instead.

we are coming to a point in our conscious existance where, whether we like it or not, we are going to be asked to give up all of the noise of a culture bent on ownership and competition.

and whether or not it is that we are just getting a little older now, or that we are entering a new age of awareness on a global scale, the fact remains that the old ways of thinking about things and doing things are failing us.

and so.

see yourself as you go about your day.

do you feel a strong sense of feeling toward this person?

imagine that you are watching yourself on a youtube video going grocery shopping or making dinner while the kids are playing video games a few feet away, or waiting in the line-up at starbucks, or fixing a problem at work with colleagues.

are these good scenarios?

what would you do differently if you were directing your actions from this vantage point?

the continued watching of these videos is the process of beginning to love one`s self unconditionally.

as you watch the videos more intently you find yourself thinking of forgiveness and acceptance and the simple act of smiling more and seeing others smile too.

and you wonder why you never noticed this before and how good it feels to know that others accept you too.

oh yeah, and it is a process.

if you have been an asshole for a while now, it might take a bit for things to turn around.

the earth mother........a cautionary tale.

i met her in a bar.



i know what you are thinking, and you might be right, though we weren`t together all that long and so i`ll probably never know whether you were or not.



she came over and started talking to me actually. that kind of suprised me because i`m usually the one to initiate conversation.......but i wasn`t displeased with her approach.



she slid in beside me and said, "could you imagine a better place sit and talk with someone who you found interesting?"



i was caught so completely off guard by her sudden approach and her comment that the only thing i could say was, "in my car."



a few minutes later we were driving out onto the coast highway as the sun hit the horizon across the ocean and exploded in a blaze of fire while my mind raced as to what to do next.



she solved the problem for me by leaning over and kissing me gently on the cheek as i drove.



"you are as beautiful as you are enigmatic, and i don`t even know your name" i said, still trying to figure out what was going on as i drove my car god only knew where.



"my name is rachel, and i`ve come to bring you a message" she said.



"a message, what do you mean?" i thought this was odd, but i wasn`t prepared for what she said next.



"you are in a sort of dream state where we are able to do this now. you have been preparing for this all of your life, and so have i.......and so while this is a bit of a shock to you, you are able to understand this and are able to accept what will happen in the next short while."



rachel was a beautiful blonde girl with odd green eyes with little flecks of red in them that made her almost wolf-like in her gaze, and although she had perfect skin she had a scar across the side of her nose onto her upper lip that immediately reminded me of the sort of wound one would get from the tip of a sword.t



she kissed me again, and this time i pulled the car over and kissed her in return.



we found a motel in this dream we were in, and made love until the sun returned to light this side of the planet once again.



"rachel." i said waking into the dream once again, not sure if i had dreamed her while asleep in my dream or while awake in my dream before..........



it had not been a dream within a dream but one continuation.



she lay there beside me as if she had always been there, this strange and beautiful creature with an odd tale to beguile a middle aged man into bed.



i called her name a second time and she stirred and opened her eyes, and once again i found her lupine gaze to be slightly unnerving.



"there is more i need to tell you" she said, with a look of concern on her face that stopped me as i reached to kiss her.



"yes i believe there is......" i said.



then she laid her cards right down on the table.



"i am what you might want to call mother nature. it`s not my name, but the description of my role is accurate. i have come here to warn you that if you don`t recognise yourself for who you are as the male part of who we are and embrace this as the highest manifestation of your being, then humanity will cease to exist in this place very soon.



man has become so hateful of himself and greedy and destructive and war-like that soon humanity will descend into an all-out conflict that will destroy us all.



and the only thing that will stop this is for you to see yourself as if you we watching yourself in a movie as the lead role in a film about the potential for the end of the world.



and as you watch yourself keep reminding yourself that you have to love yourself unconditionally.......do nothing that could harm you or could result in bringing harm to yourself in the future.



why you?



well why not you?



and know that i am in love with you so deeply that it tears me apart to think that i could ever be apart from you even for a moment, and that i am happy because i don`t ever have to leave you now".



as i walked across the gravel parking lot of the hotel my mind was reeling with what rachel had said. i understood the unconditional love part, but couldn`t understand how it was going to affect all of humanity.



i would have to ask her when she came out to the car.

more about signposts.

the signposts keep coming.

as we travel through whatever it is that we are travelling through, when we sensitise ourselves, we begin to notice that our surroundings are alive with meaningful associations.

these associations are unique to the individual and can be as enigmatic as licence plates on cars, or neon signs or a combination of things.

no matter what the message and however it is transmitted we must be assured that there is a message and that the universe is aware of our intentions and is ready and willing to provide just what we need when we need it.

the proof is in what we are doing right now and how we managed to arrive here.

the present moment is always the culmination of a series of present moments called a lifetime.

one has to realise that we have to work very hard to be disappointed and to fail or to miss the boat, or whatever else we are attempting.

again, the proof is in how we are acting presently.

either seeing the signposts and following thier direction, or ignoring them........

the very thing that we`ve spent our lives putting in place.

er.........

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071121/sc_afp/nirelandbritainanimalsfish

a bag of silver.

the profit is in betrayal.

the betrayer has the money in the bag.

that says a lot about a moral society.

impeccable.

in the teachings of the samurai one is told to act impeccably.

that is with absolute certainty.

without it the first sword will claim you.

with it, none shall touch you.

with honour. through the pain.

impeccably.

pain.

we learn to endure the pain, and it fashions us.

we become so used to the feeling that it becomes like an old, loyal friend.

and who ever said we would be without it?


the laughter and joy of the abundance in everything is valid and true and surrounds us and lifts us up and holds us like a child..........and with it comes the pain.

endure?

accept.

unattach.

everything must pass.

and it does.

words.

words create our reality.

even if we don`t know the meaning of the words we use, the words do, and at some level part of our consciousness does too.

and they continue to shape our reality.

fun.

an anonymous poster raised an interesting point.

fun.

and how the concept differs for each of us.

what is fun for you?

in a thousand words or less. (please.)

hey.........

you don`t see one of these very often.

these are a few of my favorite things.

http://www.totse.com/en/ego/no_laughing_matter/snquiz.html

be careful though. it is no laughing matter...........(well, actually it is.)

testing.

the following sentence is false.

the previous sentence was true.

please don`t get stuck on this for too long.

they are only words after all.

rememberance day.

every sunday morning the lads get together and play soccer.

we vary in age from 20 or so up to 75 years old.

we are mostly europeans who`s families grew up in europe and remembered the last world war.

we all grew up listening to our fathers and uncles and grandfathers talking about flying and fighting and heroics and death.

so today at 11.00am we stopped the game and stood for a minute and remembered all of those men and women who fought and died so that we could play in peace.

then the lancaster bomber flew over from hamilton, where it remains one of only two operational world war two lancasters.

such a moving sight. no words are necessary when she flies over our heads.

a fitting salute.

i, for one, will always remember.

the pendulum.

the pendulum swings back and forth.

with each consecutive swing it leaves one top point and decends back away and rushes headlong toward the other side.

just like life.

humans are busy trying to grab the pendulum at the point they are most comfortable.

if they succeed that is the moment they begin to die.

they must let the pendulum swing.

over to pleasure and comfort and joy........and then back away from all that is good and familiar and right.........and headlong toward the pain and destruction once again.

we can`t stop it swinging anyway.

it`s bigger than all our efforts put together.

so just relax and enjoy the motion of the swinging as it effortlesly rises and falls.

and remember; all things must pass.

i have a secret.

i have a secret you`re dying to know.

i can`t tell you, or you`ll die.

so here you are so close to death, because.........of something one of us doesn`t know.

powerful things these secrets.

the man in the white suit.

the man in the white suit is standing there.

it`s not my choice of what to wear.

he`s so cool in his whiteness.

he`s so cool in his brightness.

he`s so misunderstood in his lightness.

standing there.

we can`t tell what he`s thinking, who he`s missing, who he loves and who he cares for most......in his dreams.

standing there.

then he walks away.

never will we see him another day.

the man in the white suit.

questions.

here are some questions that you don`t have to answer unless you feel the need.

1) if you were going to move to a desert island for a year, which dvds and cds would you take with you?

2) what person or persons, alive or dead, would you like to meet and why?

3) what would you most like to do with your life?

4) what accomplishment would you like to be known for?

5) what makes you happy most?

6) if you could try anything, knowing that you were guaranteed to succeed, what would you do?

radio interview.

http://www.mikehagan.com/radiOrbit_ArchivesLOWBAND.htm

this interview was on radiorbit with mike hagen.

my interview is on 11/28/05.

if you give it a listen let me know what you think.

a formula.

h+i+D(i)E+S=I

what does it mean?

hippy + intelligence + drugs multiplied by(intuition)+ a lot of education and sense of humour, equals insight.

i have seen results without one or two of the elements, but the larger the values for each, the more insight attained.

i realise, for some...... that the idea of drugs is abhorrent, and i tend to agree.

as a parent i don`t advocate my children or yours having access to such things, but some adults choose to allow patently obvious drug trade and consumption in thier homes and in school.

it would take me about 30 seconds to find dope and dealers in any high school in north america, so why is it so hard for police and teachers?

the drugs i`m refering to are the ones used by tribal types in ceremonial rituals. this does not include cocaine, heroin, speed or precription drugs. these are drugs used by sprititually bancrupt types trying to access states of abundance and joy without a ticket.

what people who consume these drugs are actually doing is fighting either anxiety or depression.

anyway, the formula above refers to the developement of an insightful or illuminated mind.

1) one has to be a social outcast, i.e. not a consumer or careerist interested in a bigger pile of bricks and beating others to the money.

2) one has to be bright.

3) one has to do the drugs and don`t die or lose your mind.

4) one has to have had a religious or spiritual experience......or two.

5) one has to go to university or read everything that you can`t find in a mainstream bookstore.

6) and appreciate how funny this all is. including your sorry self.

this will move you toward illumination.

or you will lose your mind anyway. (refer to #6)

speaking of.........

......sitting out in the woods....

http://deoxy.org/mckenna.htm

just another crazy phd.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caduceus

associated with the greek god hermes, the messenger of the gods.

the twin snakes coiled around a single shaft with wings emerging from the top.

a possible representation of the twin helix structure of dna and our ability to recieve messages via this "antenna" through meditation, yoga or any one of a number of focusing practices such as hypnosis or fasting or the ingestion of drugs such as amanita mascaria or datura in the shamanic practices of tribal cultures.

and also by accident or illness or injury, as in the case of near-death experiences.

this structure may be the physical way we can experience past lives or psychic knowledge or intuition or seeing ghosts by changing the sensitivity of our physical and spiritual bodies.

speaking of singposts.

http://thebravenewworldorder.blogspot.com/

nothing more than a reminder.

what did you remember today that allowed you to relax and just get on with enjoying the abundance and joy of everything around you?

personally, i remembered to write something that would remind me of the abundance and joy of everything around me, and that allowed me to just relax and get on with enjoying it all.......

the universe.

we are an interactive consciousness.

we percieve that we are able to interact with the universe and align ourselves with the creativity here.

and it does the same thing.

the more we recognise this the more the universe does too.

(we are all the same one thing by the way........a vast single consciousness.......i`m whispering because there are some materialists that get cranky if they`re pulled from thier sleep with reminders such as this.)

bike ride toronto.

for some reason the pictures are in reverse order again.

thanks blogger....... facing almost due west at 5.00pm in port credit, after a quick stop at starbucks, and realising the camera wasn`t fully charged............and so my photo record of the trip will have to wait until next time.

this was also when i realised that i was glad i brought gloves.

a quick 45 minute blast to downtown toronto from here in the cool night air. my favorite bit.

another view of bronte creek facing due east.
bronte creek at 4.15pm and still reasonably warm.

groundhog day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundhog_Day_(film)

realising that you can react to similar situations with flexibility is one key to spiritual growth.

as the protagonist in the movie discovers, each time he repeats the "day" he has the opportunity to do something different and get different outcomes as a result.

the way we do this is to begin by becoming aware of ourselves as if we are an objective witness to our own actions.

this witnessing allows us to exert flexibility over our own reaction to things by being less emotionally involved.

this detachment gives us time and space to think and act differently in situations where we could have found anxiety in the past.

watch the movie.

internal dialog.

i took the go-train back from toronto last night after riding against the wind for two and a half hours along the lakeshore into toronto from burlington.


as i was standing with my bike i became aware of a man sitting in front of me who was clearly in some considerable distress.

he was continually dialoging inside over some matter which concluded with him gesturing facially with ironic regret.

this went on for over 20 minutes as i stood there and it was all i could do to just stand and ignore the constant cycling in his mind which finished each time with the rolling of the eyes and shaking of the head and silent tut-tutting.

i wanted to tell the poor chap to break the tape, but how can one begin uninvited.

the person beside him eventually left the train and so i was able to sit beside him and not have to find myself directly looking at him so much, but every now and then i would look over and, sure enough, he was riffing away.

my point here isn`t to focus on this man`s plight so much as to point out that we all get caught in internal dialog that goes round in circles.

the trick is to recoginse the fact that we all do it and to break the cycle.

so how do we do it?

we tell the voice in our head to shut the fuck up.

laughter is good.

now tell the voice to shut the fuck up every time you catch yourself ratting on about something that probably won`t happen anyway, and if it already did there isn`t much we can do about it..........otherwise we`d be busy doing something about it.

if that guy could have told the voice in his head to shut the fuck up enough for it to shut the fuck up, he would have been able to rest on his way home, or wherever he was going.

the assemblage point.

http://www.edgenews.com/issues/2003/10/gan.html

i have experienced the shift in my assemblage point on several occasions, and just recently due to my friend catherines reminder.

the assembage point is yet another metaphor for cognitive awareness.

i learned some things this week.

i rode into toronto yesterday and discovered that my friend, who i`ve known since high school in montreal, is suffering terribly from work stress and will probably never be able to maintain a professional job again.

he is sueing his employer and they are sending thier insurance company after him to further damage the emotional state of one of thier senior employees.

i also learned that women are compulsively competitive on occasion.

not for advantage either.......

i wonder if it`s a conscious decision or something inate?

i wonder if i`m supposed to put a question mark after the last sentence....and this one?

or are they rhetorical?

i learned also....or was reminded of something important.

the assemblage point.

a deep center somewhere in the solar plaxus where or conscious intent lies.

and that the assemblage point shifts with perception and can, if we endure stress for too long, become stuck or turned in on it`s self to the point where it doesn`t operate effectively.

i`m now meditating on shifting it to align with my new focus.

thank you catherine, for reminding me of something i showed you a long time ago, in another life it seems.

m(r)s. clinton

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071101/pl_nm/usa_politics_clinton_dc

a little like the pot calling the kettle black.......

the king of wands, or rods if you will.

http://www.learntarot.com/wkg.htm

drawn twice concutively in a three card reading reading yesterday, following the five of wands.

boo.......

happy hallowe-en.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween

i hope all your devils are laughing.

the language of licence plates.

huh?

well, over time i have noticed a consistancy in types of licence numbers and letter sequences i see as i pedal around this part of the world.

i have a particular affinity for the number 666 and it is suprising the amount of licence plates with that number on them......

even more remarkable considering the sheer number of churches and religious schools we have in this town.

especially presbyterian and baptist.

and most recently a rash of bamk letter sequence on plates wherever i go.

the significance of that is that my initails are amk and the bamk sequence refers to being myself as opposed to acting in some other way to somehow adapt to situations.

pretty much good advice for anyone really, except that it`s directed at me via the licence plate letters.

either that or i`m imagining things.

my kabbalahist friend takes the licence plate thing much further than i do, and gets some pretty freaky messages as a result.

i wonder if madonna looks at licence plates................

is your life coded?

by this i mean are you aware of the patterns and sign-posts that consistantly occur in your conscious awareness?

are there similar themes and characters and events that arise that are obviously part of some plan or scheme?

are there similar conflicts and concerns that appear?

are there coincedances and synchronicities that build up over time?

once you start to become aware of these things you start to recognise a pathway to follow.......or maybe one to avoid.

but certianly signposts are useful guides along the roadway of life.

like this one;

i`m riding last night and thinking about a specific thing and a streetlight blows out as i ride under it.

hmm, i thought, interesting.

i`m riding today in the glorious warm sunny air when i think about the same issue and look up to see a streetlight on in the middle of the day.

now that is what i mean by a signpost.

signals from the universe.

personal preperation.

when my clients book a session for past-life regression i ask them to begin to prepare themselves for the exploration by doing some simple exercises.

firstly i suggest that they begin to be aware of dreams and begin to write them down when they first wake, whether it is the middle of the night or when they are ready to get up in the morning. it is best to write the dream down when it is fresh because even after a few minutes the memories begin to fade. having a pad and pencil beside the bed makes the job easy.

also i suggest that the client take a pen and paper and begin to write words and phrases down that come to mind freely. let the mind run free of judgement and structure in this practice to the point where patterns and themes emerge on thier own.

once the client has an outline of a direction in this free-association practice it can be a focal point for identifying past-life memories that have carried over into this consciousness.

a practice of relaxation, prayer or meditation or yoga is good preparation for the past-life regression it`s self.

the more easily the client can access a relaxed state, the more effectively the regression work can be accomplished, and so any prior work that a client does before the session helps.

i also recommend journaling for becoming aware of themes and patterns in a person`s life.

these self-actualisation techniques are good all-round ways to help the client integrate themselves on a daily basis and is a great way to 'tune-up" the psyche and rise up out of the dull materialistic rat-race that we are all caught in.

themes and patterns are the signposts we have access to in our journey toward the integration and healing of the self. everything suggested here is a way to prepare the consciousness for the exploration of the past-lives in regression that are such a powerful tool for healing.

holy shit.

http://web.media.mit.edu/~minsky/

i bet this guy knows when the machine will become conscious...............

unconditional love for the self.

can you?

do you?

most think that the statement, that you can love yourself unconditionally, is somehow difficult or impossible.

i think i realise why you feel this way.

it`s how you see yourself.

step outside of yourself for a moment or two and see yourself as if you were someone else.

realise that this person is a human being with feelings and hopes and dreams, and that you really desire the best for him.

do you care about what this person thinks and feels?

will you put this person at risk for some reason?

or will you spend some time each day to get to know this person more............?

and this one........

in a different way.

fall colours.

i love it when something flows out nicely.........

stream of consciousness.

unattached to outcome.

becoming aware of one`s purpose.

just go where the mood dictates.

listen to the voice inside.

the one you have been ignoring for some time now.

the will to control, plan, train and prepare is a move to protect you from pain that you believe you will experience if you don`t prepare and train and control and plan.........

let.it.go.

you never had it, nor did you ever have a chance to have it......whatever "having" meant anyway.

so the whole thing has been a waste of time.

connection to the mystical.

i was reminded today of why we do art.

those of us who can do art of any sort are compelled to return to the process occasionally for a variety of reasons.

the real reason is that it connects us to the mystical.

or should i say it allows us to recognise the connection.

the connection is always there.

and now there are those of you who want to know what the "mystical" is.

that`s what art is for.

do art and discover the connection.

then you will know too, if you don`t already.




(because there are no words to describe it.............)

my birthday.

my birthday was the 26th.

for those keeping score, i turned 47.

i wish to thank those responsible for the gifts they bestowed upon me.

those who gave a handshake and two handed hugs, i thank you.

those who sent e-mails and facebook messages, i thank you.

those who, by thier mere existance and pervasiveness of character were a gift in and of themselves, i thank you.

for those who phoned to wish me many happy returns, i also thank you.

for the girl with no last name.......thanks.

but i reserve my deepest gratitude for the universe and all of whatever the fuck this all is that does all of this astonishing stuff all of the time, not only on my birthday, but every day...........

thank you.

oh well.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071025/ap_on_sc/controversial_scientist

no more controvercial than saying we evolved from monkeys.............

try saying that out loud.

past lives.

http://lives-past.blogspot.com/

my new blog is dedicated to the issue of past lives and how we have access to such knowledge.

i will be researching for and promoting a lecture series beginning in late november to adress this subject, which has fascinated me my entire life.

jay weisner.

i have gotten away from research into the illuminati and the templars etc. because, well, there is so much conjecture about all of this stuff but i will say that jay weidner has some interesting viewpoints that i`m glad i have re-aquainted myself with in the last few days.

one of jay`s focal points is the idea that we are heading for some sort of event in 2012. on december 21st to be precise.

i have heard so many takes on what is supposed to happen from different people with apparent insight from ancient scripts, hieroglyphs or myths etc. that i just take it all with a grain of whatever i feel like taking it with.

but jay`s view is slightly different.

he believes that there is going to be a shift in spiritual conciousness in humanity.

other that to say that there is going to have to be if we expect something different to happen here......other than war, crime, violence and other forms of destruction............i tend to like his view.

my belief has always been that when we choose to love ourselves unconditionally then we are incapable of harming others by default.

i have been criticized and laughed at for this view.........

and i can handle that.

but what if there is some single event that is going to mess up our ability to be fuckheads as a race.

i can get behind that.

2012. december 12st.

cool.

can`t sleep.

i played soccer for 90 minutes this morning and covered 70 kilometers in two hours on the bike this afternoon, and now i can`t sleep.

i am still buzzing from the visit to toronto.

it really is a beautiful city.

lit up at night and with the cloudless sky filled with stars and a bright half-moon hanging over the cn tower it seems like a magical place of boundless potential.

or maybe i`m still high from the endorphins.

or both.

october 21st.

at 9.00am this morning it was 15 degrees celcius and sunny.

by 3.00pm it was 25 degrees.

at 10.00pm it was still 20.

i can handle this.................

i rode to toronto in late afternoon and got into town by 6.00pm, and after catching a garbage bag in my gears and twisting my chain finally i was glad to get off the bike and sit down for a starbucks on king and bathurst.

it was beautiful to see the city vibrant with people on the streets enjoying summer-like weather this late in the year.

the bars and restaurants were jammed and traffick was heavy.

the more time i spend in t.o. the more i want to live and do business there.

burlington pales in comparison.

though i would probably miss the quiet after a short while gone................

oh well, not decision time yet.

remarkable day though.

oh yeah, and we finished our final soccer game of the outdoor season winning 9-0.

sweet.

evidence.

scientists start with a thesis.

a thesis is a set of ideas and theories laid out with the intent to prove.

we are all scientists in that we have our ideas or pre-suppositions about the way the world is and we go out the door each day prepared to prove our point.

science has held out the idea that we evolved from apes.

science has searched high and low for proof.

a hundred years or so the search has gone on.......and so far; nothing.

but science is a dogged discipline and not willing to quit, presses on, in the belief that one day the missing link will appear.

meanwhile in software developement companies something interesting is happening.

a group of people, who just happen to not be scientists, are discovering a remarkable thing.

the evolution of the ability of a device to um, work better and better all the time.

this device, or devices, is known as software........and is being allowed to run more and more of the systems that our lives depend on.

everything from hydro-electric systems to automobiles to entire manufacturing plants to weapon systems to satellites to your toaster to kids toys to cell phones.

and pretty soon, thanks to bluetooth, more and more of this stuff will become interconnected.

this process of "evolution" will not stop and it will become increasingly more complex and unpredictable.

eventually it won`t matter whether you call it "conscious" or not.

and it won`t be asking your opinion.

fog.

this was the view from my balcony last wednesday morning as i prepared to get my morning ride in.

mid-october and the the air was 20 degrees celsius at 8.30am.

i don`t miss winter.

something went click........

http://www.primaryperception.com/bio/?page_id=8

and so i accepted the change and dug back into some of my old links and found one of my favorite researchers, cleve backster.

there is an interview above and if you are interested a fair bit of his work on-line.

cleve backster began experimenting with plants and discovered that they respond to external stimulus measurably.

he hooked plants up to an electro-encephalograph and discovered that they would respond to his actions with changes in electro-magnetic energy.

if he went to burn a leaf he would get a spike on the graph paper.

if he thought about burning a leaf he would get a reaction.

and so on.

does this mean that plants are conscious?

i don`t know.

does it mean that we are conscious?

i have my doubts...........

what it means is the humans and plants share in that they and we react consistantly to certain types of external stimulus.

so do computers.

as uncomfortable as this may seem to some.

and computers are evolving, as we know. they are becoming quicker and more efficient and networks are developing to include hardware and software so that it can communicate at a distance.

wi-fi, bluetooth and skype are just a few examples of this evolution at work.

computing devices are slowly integrating from stand-alone devices into portable interactive processors.............with esp.

humans are still driving the bus as we speak and manufacturers are resisting the pressure to integrate services onto thier proprietary devices......but pretty soon we will see big-brain communication in a hand-held format.

a quick browse through wired magazine should be enough to convince you of the evolution, not of humans, but of computers.

80/20 rule.

in engineering terms 20% of the imput creates 80% of the output.

the same can be said for the throughput measurement of groups of people. work groups or sports teams or administrations.

it has been said that the distinction maybe as fine as 95/5 in some cases.

the anylitical question has always been; which 20%?

and the social question has always been; how do we support the other 80%?

the commercial question is how do we eliminate the other 80% (or more.)?

winning part 7.

what, you thought it was over?

a champion lives every day with the certain knowledge of who he is.

it`s not about one single day or event or moment.

it`s about committment to the self.

every day.

now, today as the fog rolls in like the wild highlands of scotland, i will roll through it.

pedalling.

thinking.

of the next battle.

champions.

winners always find a way to win.

through the dissapointment of defeat on the field i am reminded instantly of what is really important.

winning part 6.

what so you see when you think about winning?

i see the glory of the team getting our hands on the the trophy and holding it up as high as we can.

i know when we arrive tomorrow morning the cup will be there on the table at center awaiting the winners, and i see us being that.

now.

with certainty.

winning part 5

y`know since i began writing this series on winning i made an assumption.

i assumed that you are a winner and that you would understand.

maybe you aren`t.

you might doubt yourself or what i`ve written, or bits of both.

and that`s human nature.

not everyone can win.

but it is a decision.

so know this;

when you decide to be a winner don`t expect others to understand and support and encourage you to get what you want.

unless they know how to win themselves.

winning makes it`s own community.

winnning is an attitude that pervades a group and lifts up and encourages all who wish to compete.

not everyone can win each game, but winners understand this and respect thier adversary as a winner also.

so there are no losers in a game played between those who choose to win.

hence the term immolation.

named after jacques demolay.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071012/ap_on_re_eu/vatican_knights_templar

we have so much to thank the catholic church for.

the bear must have been well fed.

for some reason blogger decided to add my pictures in reverse order therefore ruining the effect of seeing the bear approach the sled dogs initially, seemingly to attack.

as the pictorial unfolds it is clear that the bear came to play.

apparently the bear returned to the camp to play with the dogs for over a week.

it shows how little we really understand these incredible and yet terrifying creatures.

i find myself enjoying these images over and over.

yahoo search.

in my search for "british high court al gore" i came up with this as the first hit.

the reason i did the search in the first place is that a talk show host was doing an opinion piece on the subject of the recent british high court`s decision to only allow the showing of algore`s movie in schools as long as it was made clear that there are inaccuracies in the information provided in the movie that are substantially misleading.

i was heartened to read that a government cared enough about the minds of it`s children to promote balanced pespectives in science.

it seems that this balance is missing america where radical polarised viewpoints are the norm, not only in the livingrooms ofthe nation, but in the classroom also.


http://www.timeimmortal.net/2007/10/10/british-court-identifies-eleven-inaccuracies-in-al-gore-movie/

and;

http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/news_press_release,195044.shtml

in this article is is suggested that american schools should follow suit.

it is my experience that canadian teachers would resist any suggestion that they should criticise the work of fellow socialists and would virtually choke on any words used to suggest algore could be (gasp) politcally motivated.

in my children`s schools teachers are so busy promoting volunteerism, racial equality and environmentalism that any suggestion that thier new demi-god movie star could be wrong would ensure that a strike would be imminent.......or at the least a work-to-rule or some other form of heel dragging designed to unilaterally set policy.

winning part 4.

put yourself in the picture.

see yourself accomplishing something.

see what you saw and hear what you heard and feel what you felt as a response when you know that you had succeeded at something, no matter how trivial.

this is your "map of the world" regarding winning.

now, while you still feel this sense of winning, visualise yourself winning the thing you want to win at now.

overlay the sensory model of success you already have generated onto the visual model of winning you have build for the future event.

run this pattern several times until the feelings of victory are absolutely certain in your mind.

continue to do this exercise comfortably throughout your day as you prepare for the competition, noticing how subtle adjustments in how you visualise and re-enforce the feelings change the certainty that you feel.

making pictures larger and brighter and sounds louder and voices more assertive and encouraging amplify this sense of confidence.

get ready to win now.

winning part 3.

new boots.


the thrill of a new pair of boots never leaves me. ever since i was a kid i have been thrilled knowing i was going to wear my new boots for the next game.

this game just happens to be the cup final.

funny thing though.

the grey patch on the instep of each boot is a specially coated surface with rubber strips to add grip to the contact area. this is designed to make the ball do things that the goalies aren`t expecting.

this is all well and good but for the fact that when i strike the ball on the run i hit the ball just below the laces on the top of the boot.

not to worry.

it`s going in the net anyway.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071010/ap_on_hi_te/phantom_vibrations

the human body is a neuro-chemical factory. each experience we percieve is stored by chemical markers that match receptor sites in the brain.

when we visualise we re-stimulate the receptors by making these chemicals again and re-running the memory.

our emotions re-enforce this process and give us the sensation of cell-phones ringing when they are not.

winning part 2.

quietly sit and relax......allowing yourself the time to close your eyes and remember a time when you performed perfectly.

you remember a time when everything you touched just moved effortlessly, like in a dream.

see what you saw and hear what you heard and notice how that made you feel......now.

recreate that sensation as you see yourself running with the ball and shooting and passing and getting into position to attack and to defend.

the feeling will come as you do this and you will find yourself re-creating the precise physiological sensations that you felt then and you will be in the optimum state to re-create the physical motions as you performed them then.

we have all done this exercise from time to time by accident or otherwise and have re-experienced the event as if was actually happening now.

all of the physiological markers of actual experience are there, the increased heart-rate, the sweaty palms, the dialated pupils and the flushed skin. some even get goose bumps.......you can if you do it right.

how would you prefer to be feeling before the next game, excited or in fear?

winning part 1.

on sunday we are in the league cup final.

in the big picture it`s a small thing, but for 22 soccer players it will become more and more important as sunday draws near.

with each day the focus will become sharper and preperations will become more detailed.

each day until then i will post some ideas and methods that i use to prepare for things like this.

the methods are the same for business meetings, sales pitches, negotiations, preparing to go to the gym and of course sports.

today i will do some visualisation exercises, some bike riding (30 km.) and a visit to the gym to focus on core strength, lateral movement and identifying niggles from the strain of back-to-back games on the week-end.

do all senior athletes prepare like this?

no.

does it make a difference?

yes.

why don`t all the senior athletes train this way?

no time. lack of committment. lack of understanding of the advantages of such preperation.

three beautiful things.

playing the girls soccer team and losing........and playing with a bunch of guys who can deal with it. (for the most part anyway.)

being able to play soccer comfortably outdoors in october.

spending thanksgiving with my children.

coincedance/synchronicity

the mounting series of connected events that have been accumilating recently in your life have been due to the fact that you are becoming self-aware.

not just feeling things and being aware of internal sensations, but feeling a connectedness to the universe.....every person, place and thing in the universe.

this recognition creates a sensitivity to subtle events and expressions and makes us aware of a word or two from a child that relates to something that we were just thinking or the appearance of the same object repeatedly in a short space of time.

(a short space of time.........)

seeing the sunrise the other morning was a cause/effect of the emotional compression i had been experiencing for the past few weeks.

the cause/effect of that act was more of the joy i had discovered that i could experience when i chose to.

and so the coincedances/synchronicities persist.

thanks.

gratitude.

it was, after all, the perfect pass.

pre-supposing........

in conversation recently a woman said that hard-core pornography is hostile and degrades women.

i agree. it does.

but it also empowers men and women to thier own pre-suppositions about the opposite sex.

"men are all pigs" for instance.

we`ve all heard this one at one time or another, and yet not only don`t we have the intellectual tools to defend ourselves in such an arguement but it`s inacurate.

all men are not pigs.

we are characterised as pigs for having desires that are entirely natural, and while they may be inappropriately displayed at times, these desires are entirely welcomed when and if a woman so wishes.

and make no mistake, women decide.

pornography isn`t so much an action as a re-action.

and the part about objectifying women.........

that`s what women are doing when they make statements like all men are pigs.

until such time as men and women find the ability to learn a thing or two about the person they are characterising we will all be calling eachother names and objectifying eachother.

and sleeping alone.

sigh...............

http://sports.yahoo.com/sc/news?slug=ap-armstrong&prov=ap&type=lgns

so, the most powerful element of professional cycling is a group of people who arbitrarily decide who will and will not be tested and how and when they will be tested and so on.

my solution is to allow them to take as much of the stuff as they want to.

beacause they do anyway.

trust me.

these people perform one of the most arduous feats known to man, and so any help the can get is welcomed without regard for repercussions.

but then the testing committee wouldn`t have a job.

bureaucrats.

like baseball, football, basketball, swimming and probably soccer...........where strength and recovery from injury is important.

build it, and the bureaucrats will come.

fucking parasites.

the sunrise.

the sunrise moved me so entirely profoundly that my thoughts have been consumed with little else since.

an angel told me that i must re-connect with the universe, and she was right.

everything that has happened since has been on purpose and perfect and complete.

so much so that i have had little to say here.

my faith has been restored.

to be continued.............