Saturday, November 19, 2005

what it means to be conscious.

how do we know we are conscious? there are a thousand answers to that question. all of them may be wrong. it may be wrong to suggest that we know we are conscious and alive when we feel happiness, it may be wrong to say that we know that we are alive when we suffer, or when we take a chance and our heart races as we await the outcome. all of these and a million other ideas are merely dreams of something that is becoming information in our awareness.
but what is really going on.
this is a fantastic something, that`s for damned sure, but as physicists become poetic in describing the action of tinier and tinier packets of energy bumping into each other we get a clue as to thier emerging uncertainty about what they are revealing.
a great seething, electromagnetic (?) nothing.
so, on one hand we have science saying that if we can`t measure it, it cannot exist, as they struggle to make finer instruments to measure nothing more accurately. and on the other hand we have religion saying have faith. we talk to god all the time and come back next week for an update. on another hand we have politics, philosophy, sport, judges etc. all making new realities as they go.
what does this mean to us in the search for what it means to be conscious?
not a damned thing.
it`s all like trying to give a fish a bicycle.
the redundancy of human existance.
a struggle to impart meaning into nothing.
why is it so hard to accept the nothingness?
we are addicted to the ego`s need to recognise it`s self in action.
the me,me,i,i game.
that`s why we strive for answers and measurements of things.
prediction and control of the future and the repair of the past.
so we feel better.
so the ego feels better.
anxiety about what is going to happen and depression over lost opportunities in the past.
from the ego`s standpoint anyway.
if we are concerned about what it means to be conscious it is because we want some certainty about all of this. where it`s all heading, what`s going to happen, what we will feel, see and do.
it doesn`t mean anything to be conscious.
it just is.

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