Tuesday, June 24, 2008



all women with long nails, or just some women with long nails, or just the woman quoted?

i would have thought that most women would have been bright enough to figure a work-around for such a problem.......such as not owning the stupid phone in the first place.


apple would be foolish to ignore the large market of women with long nails who use cell-phones, and i`m sure they are working feverishly to find a remedy.

on the other hand, it`s possible that women with long nails could effect a look whereby one nail is kept deliberately short so as to facilitate the use of thier trendy tele-communication device, sending a signal to the herd that not only are they hip but bright enough to solve a difficult problem.

now, if only they could drink, drive, talk and watch sex in the city on the overhead dvd screen at the same time...........


Monday, June 23, 2008



the world is a less funny place today after george carlin dies at age 71.

george was best known for the seven words you can`t say on television.

they are as follows; shit, piss, fuck, cunt, motherfucker, cocksucker, and tits.

so lets look closely at these words for a moment and see where the problem may lie.

the first two, shit and piss, are common bodily functions that, while mostly a private matter, are mostly innocuous, unless you have a personal problem with such functions that you may have acquired during your formative years. in which case you could be chronically religious, an accountant, or a member of a broadcast standards committee.

cunt, motherfucker and cocksucker are descriptive of processes of sexuality, and while the terms aren`t particularly elegant, they describe some of my favorite things. she has one, i am one, and i look forward to the act with a fondness that i have for little else.

finally, the word tits. come on people, we were all born to feed at the breast. to refer to them is a homage to nurture and sustenance. to image one is to be at once fed and stimulated.

i can`t think of a finer state to exist in.

thanks for the memories george.

rest in peace, you motherfucker.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

more on morons.


where to begin?

ok, firstly.......are these real or manufactured documents?

we have to see who benifits most from documents like this being left on a train.

and being "secret", who could possibly positively identify them other than other bureaucrats?

so who`s to say......

to me, the report seems too facile to be anything but a wind-up job between politicians, but who`s to say.

and entertainment for other morons to cluck on about in the office.

but.......if people in positions of authority who handle such materials are so inept as to leave papers like that on a train, then we need to really begin to mistrust these morons.

my old man worked at aldermaston in the sixties and never once spoke of anything that went on in that top secret facility other than how bureaucratic and "old school tie" everything was.....and his rationalisation was that he signed the british secrets act so he just had to not say anything to anyone.

meanwhile people are allegedly carrying top secret files around in a briefcase on a train.




this is known in simple terms as a game.

a game played by governments on citizens.

a game called taxation.

exploit the weak and unorganised and uninformed for fun and profit.

the last think a governement wants to do is to deter gamblers from frequenting thier facilities......especially "problem" gamblers.

but, we do it to ourselves. we aren`t strong and organised enough to stop such activities from occuring......either as individuals or in groups.

so, the government preys on it`s citizenry.

but after all, how else does government survive?

how to smile.

remember the last time.

hold that thought.


Saturday, June 07, 2008

tad vs. smidgeon.

according to micheal, my youngest boy, the difference between a tad and a smidgeon is that a tad is small but visible and a smidgeon is so small that you can`t see it with the naked eye.

now you know.

Friday, June 06, 2008



45 trillion?

is that before or after tax?

oh wait a minute, that is a tax.

the assumption that humans created the increase in global temperature hasn`t been proven. to put a dollar figure on solving such a problem misses this clear point.

fluctuations in solar energy emissions make far more scientific sense than the miniscule energy spike that human energy consumption contributes to the total global heat mass. very few people comment on such an obvious physical reality.

similar to pissing the ocean.......for those who need a metaphor.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

and so........b


we read with horror the way that the burmese government is treating it`s population and can`t understand why they are turning away international aid.

the reason why we can`t understand is because we make several false assumptions regarding what is occuring.

we assume that governments have thier citizen`s best interest in mind.

we assume that life is held in high regard.

we assume that all people think like we do.

the truth is that governments, including our own, are self-serving and will protect themselves from threat.

in burma they had a nice little deal going.......a miltary dictatorship with a visible intimidation force on display constantly for the edification a small community of military and political types living off the backs of a virtual slave-labour force working to keep the holiday camp going.

this system had been ticking over for decades under the radar of the u.n. and the western press, until the cyclone hit and thousands died.

this little embarrassment brought the international media to bear on burma and it`s little game.

the burmese government`s worst nightmare would be international military and civilian forces at large in on it`s soil poking around through files and interviewing survivors and generally shedding light on the burmese junta`s game of holiday camp......so they turn aid away and thousands of people die and suffer.

like new orleans.

do you think our government is any different?

people walk the streets of our country every day suffering their own personal disaster, in numbers far larger than those in burma now, and our government puts our wealth into upgrading it`s systems and structures before it will do one thing to alleviate the suffering.

i know what you are thinking.......let them get jobs.

could you get one quickly if you lost yours?

would you take one paying less?

there is enough resources and money on the planet right now for everyone to live comfortably while factories and robots make and grow all that we need.

computers run everything now anyway and so the running of production of food and materials that way is no problem at all.

it`s happening anyway.

it`s just not for us.

our lives could be made meaningful by interacting with eachother and enoying the abundance of all that surrounds us, but instead we struggle desperately to accumilate stuff while others suffer, and our own government take a large portion of our effort and upgrades it`s systems and structures to protect it`s self agains us.

like in burma.