Wednesday, May 31, 2006

the best comeback of all.

as much love as you can possibly muster.
the i ching, an ancient chinese oracle, says that when dealing with evil one must not fight directly but with guile and avoidance for the concern that you will become like the evil it`s self.
the the evil wins.
only in love can such an adversary be defeated.

signs of the miraculous.

i have noticed something. the world is a seriously miraculous place. there are those who say they are athiest, and then they say they aren`t sure about all the talk about god, gods or aliens or evolution or whatever. what these people mean is that they are agnostic. they aren`t sure.
what i`m sure about is that something miraculous is going on. in the midst of all the man-made chaos that we are surrounded by, nature continues to be magnificent.
miraculous, magnificent, awesome, breath-takingly beautiful..............
how can you not see it all going off like a giant firework, exploding into our consciousness every second of our existance?

unconditional love for the self............again.

we will continue to revisit this subject until everyone begins to have some understanding of the concept.
what do you guys think unconditional love for the self means and how have you experienced unconditional love for yourself in your life?

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

the girl at starbucks.

i have found myself at starbucks recently in the evenings, sitting `til closing in the vain hope that i would see that girl again. last night her friend ran in and out quickly and waved as she went. tonight they both drove by and beeped the horn as they went.
silly things mean so much sometimes.

Monday, May 29, 2006

the cat`s meow.

is this a mind created-universe or free standalone, with our minds in it after the fact?
my guess is that we are driving the bus.............but i`m an idealist, according to these guys. i am always told that i`m a cynical prick......but people keep trying to make this shit political, when it`s really opinion driving quantum effects.

not just for chris.......

don`t do this stoned.

300th post.....woo hoo!

for my 300th posting, something a little different. enjoy.
oh, and thanks for reading with me this far, or if you are new here, welcome.

digital consciousness.

i love this kind of discussion. emerging consciousness is an awsome concept. i especially like the reaction from the religious dogmatists on this drives them squirrely.
dave? i don`t feel so good dave.....................

one free question.

ask me any question you like. just be prepared to accept the answer........or not. */*


we have this idea that we know time. we can measure it with increasing accuracy. we can rely on it to allow us to plan to do things in the future and arrange for everyone and everything to be there at the same time together. pretty powerful thing.
we can observe clocks, tides, planetary and solar movements and have them all corelate. it is a very consistant predictor of the future in time and
time actually creates space. movement in time equates to space. they are really parts of the same thing.
we still don`t know what this thing called time is though. we have the accurate measurement and this gives control, which is what science is all about, but it doesn`t actually say what time is.
what is it made of?
we think it is a something that allows distance and velocity.
so it is.
but it`s still only an it.
we have become so used to using time as a thing that it has become unconscious to our understanding.
yet here it is.
or isn`t.
really there is only a series of nows all lined up.

here`s a question.

what is time?

Sunday, May 28, 2006

authentic living.

i asked a client of mine what they would feel ilike if she had to give a lecture about anxiety to a group of bank professionals. she said that she would be terrified.
i asked her why.
she said that she would feel as if they would question her authority on th e subject.
so i told her that she was an expert in anxiety as a sufferer and that if she was to confidently speak from experience about her situation and be unconcerned about how they would recieve her honesty and emotions that they would learn a tremendous amount about how she lived and that also many of them would recognise, perhaps for the first time, that they weren`t alone in thier anxiety also.
what is the lesson here?
authenticity in feelings and knowing that others are having similar experiences to.
knowing the difference between having to convince others and realising that all it takes is speaking honestly about your own situation. we are all expert in our own stuff.
this is a big part of unconditional love for your self. speaking from your heart. we all recognise the truth when we hear it.
so speak it,

after the preperation.

after the preperation we won 3-1. two of my shots went in the net.
hard work all`round the park.

Friday, May 26, 2006


i read today that winston churchhill, one of my favorite people, used to spend 30 minutes in preperation for each 1 minute of speech time he gave. now, i don`t advocate such focused work, churchhill was a consumate scolar, but some preperation is neccesary if you expect results.
i am preparing for a game of soccer tonight. it is our team`s first competitive game of the 2006 season. i am the player/manager so my duties are varied. i will focus on my playing preparation for the purposes of this discussion.
my first task is to have an hour or so before the match where i am clear of distractions. generally i will get to the field 3/4 hour early for this purpose. my focus will be on visualisation. i find a spot on the bench where i can sit comfortably and begin to do some light breathing exercises to focus my attention internally. once i feel that i`ve attained some center i then review some previous matches where i`ve had good performances. i run the events from my memory in my mind a few times to get a physical sense of the memory.
then i do some goal net viualisations. seeing the ball in the net, going to the net from my foot and actually ending up feeling the net in my hand and the feel of the ball hitting the net it`s self. these are powerful anchors to physiological performance.
i then get focused and warmed up, help get the net up and begin to organise the other members of the team as they arrive and infect them with the sense of what we`ve shared on the field in the past.
the rest is automatic.

Thursday, May 25, 2006


two people dancing close need to have a leader and a follower. two leaders will trip eachother and two followers will stand there waiting for direction.
in the nlp relationship, the therapy session the client will eventually need to follow. before that happens the therapist needs to pace the attitude of the client initially. this is the "rapport" phase of the session. in my last post i discussed a covert pacing mechanism to illustrate the strength of this process. the strength of the leading is equally powerful in helping people change behaviour. it installs new internal structures in the client in a covert fashion while the conscious rational brain is listening to conversation.
this pacing and leading process happens between all people all the time. there is never a time when one person is at rest in the process.......unless you are so unattached to the conversation that it`s unimportant. in which case what`s the point to having the conversation in the first place.
the general rule in nlp is lead, lead, pace. this means calibrate the internal structure of the client, wait for a period, re-calibrate to structure and then once established again then begin to introduce new paced internal structures of breathing, eye movement, vocal speed, inflection and tone, body movement and gestures and even changes in your own blood pressure. this will hype the client up and anchor the new feelings to his body.
this process is part of the reason why we just naturally like being around certain people.
they just make us feel good.

more about what we feel inside.

i sat quietly across from the old guy on the bench in the bus station. he was by appearance a derelict of some sort and this was his home for the night. people were coming and going and sitting for a while and leaving to catch a bus. the normal flow of people in a bus station.
as the minutes went by i found myself trying to sit like the man sitting across from me. i tried to breathe like him too, noticing the rate at which he breathed and how deeply and smoothly the air went in and out of his lungs. he laboured in his breathing so it was a challenge to copy the way he was doing it but i continued. as he adjusted himself i did so also. this went on for about half an hour or so before i noticed him noticing me for the first time. i was seated maybe fifteen feet from him at an angle to my right. close enough to see his one eye open briefly to loook at me before closing again.
after forty-five minutes his breathing became shallower and he sat up, opened his eyes wide and looked right at me and said, "don`t you have anything better to do than hang around in a bus station all night?".
i smiled and said "no" and got up and went home.
the man in the dirty, rumpled clothes had become aware of my subtle mirroring of his behaviour to the point where it had annoyed him significantly enough for him to speak out loud. i was subtle enough in my adjustment and breathing to not give him visual clues. he had begun to just get a funny "feeling" about what was going on between us. it made him uncomfortable enought to say something. however he recognised my intentions it was substantial enough for me to get a result in my experiment.
it says something profound about how we sort our reality and how we "know" things.
i was feeding his internal state back to him and he didn`t like it.
in nlp this is called pacing. matching behaviour until contact is made.
the next step is leading.

what we feel inside.....................

what we feel inside makes others respond to us accordingly. if we feel good, that is if we are generating good, genuine feelings inside, then others will respond to that. not consciously even. it`s not about appearances so much, even though society puts a high value on physical looks and possessions, it `s about our internal state.
this is rooted in science. at the neuro-chemical level we are triggered by the structures of the shapes of things and the patterns of things that we see. our environment triggers our internal states with the code of it`s appearance. this included the people we come into contact with. the archetecture and physics of how we move, breathe and gesture triggers feelings inside others.
how do we control these states?
if we feel good inside our bodies,naturally make shapes that resonate with the internal state we are experiencing. others see those shapes we make......the dance we perform......and when they try to go with it, as is natural in the human, then they get the feelings too.
we get so good at it that we don`t even have to try the dance, we can tell just by looking, sometimes just for a brief second and, bang, we have our insight into the person in front of us.
it is an art form though, and unless it comes naturally, the data we recieve can be overruled by the logic we are taught. the reason.
begin to smile more consciously. at people. surprisingly they will smile back. i promise you they will.
smiling is one of those basic human gestures that triggers powerful emotions in others. it triggers neuro-transmitter responses in ourselves when we do it and in the brain of the reciever too.
manipulative? you bet.
it`s our only chance of survival.

a rallying cry.

i feel the need to rally the troops today. so today all of those who feel a deep sense of unconditional love for themselves need to share this with others. this action doesn`t have to be so much a sermon or an e-mail or any sort of action other than a conscious determination to do the inner work you`ve been reading about and thinking about and begining to feel. let your heart open up to yourself and let go of the attachment to conflict, arguement and point-making and give yourself the gift of letting go of the bullshit and add something of meaning to the world.
inside you.
when you do, the whole universe changes too.
it has to, you created it in the first place..................

what the world wants to see.

this is what the rest of the world hopes england is wearing in the finals..............

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

the perfect thing.

i have not spoken about my personal life in anything but the most general terms up until now. i have never felt it was pertinent to the message that i feel compelled to communicate. we all have ups and downs in our lives and mine is no different, but recently i have been going through a seperation withmy girlfiend of 14 years and it`s been tough. moreso because of the legal dispute emerging over money. i am comfortable with the split between us. the relationship is over and it`s time to be apart. we will make it work for the boys. it is the money issue that has been very difficult to come to terms with. i will end this part of the discussion by saying that the house we have lived in for 14 years is in her name and she`s making me fight to prove my right to any money from the sale. i am going to see alawyer on tuesday.
now, to the perfect thing.
for many years i have been a loyal, stay-at-home guy, being a boyfriend and dad. recently i have found the need to be out riding my bike or whatever later in the evening as a way of avoiding confrontation in the home. last night i went for a bike ride and found myself at starbucks at around 8.30pm to meet a friend for coffee and aimless discussion. while i was sitting there waiting for my friend a girl pulls up in a car and goes into the coffee shop. she immediately caught my eye. just my type. tall, brunette, athletic, confident.............and she had a dog in the car with her.....bonus points. she got coffee and a cookie, got her dog from the car and sat down at the next table just as my friend arrived and a friend of hers arrived too.
we all chatted away and focussed on her dog as he ate the cookie and we just fell into conversation comfortably.
about half an hour into the conversation the girl (who`s name i never got.) started speaking directly to me and for the next hour or so we were locked eye-to-eye. starbucks closed and the chairs and tables were taken in and we said good-bye and as i rode off she was still looking deeply at me and smiled perfectly as i went.
i fell in love.
i am still in love.
i am riding the crest of this perfect thing and i will let it take me as far as it wants to take me......................
it was god`s gift to me to get me through this.
i will be eternally grateful.
and maybe i will see her again too.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

where this all leads.

all of this thinking about deep things leads us around and around in amazement and we are constantly entertained by the bright lights and shiny objects, but at the end of the day where does that leave us compared to watching a good movie or listening to a cd? these are temporary feelings we get through entertainment. passing time from one moment to the next.....but are we going to be entertained and amazed every moment of our day?
there is a perception of the rich and famous that they are constantly able to provide this high level of excited involvement in thier daily life, going from peak to peak with no dips and quiet in between. at least that`s the passing thought we have for the lives of those who can afford anything money can buy.
the truly happy person is merely at peace inside. not being pulled, pushed or torn with concern or desperate to be lifted up to ride some wave of exctacy into the next moment. this peace comes by knowing one`s self. by loving one`s self and by accepting one`s self each moment no matter what comes along. this depth of peace allows the highs and lows to be met with grace and balance. it doesn`t destroy the peaks and joys and it doesn`t allow escape from pain and merely allows acceptance that each thing that comes along will pass by.
then we can sleep deeply, run as hard as we can, eat for fuel, work hard and relax when we need to. all in balance. have the money and material things but
love yourself first.
do it first and often and everything else will follow suit.

coping with the sudden mobius in our lives.

what happens when, all of a sudden, our lives seem to be caught in some sort of twisted loop that won`t let us off no matter what we try?
here`s a list of things that you may not have considered;
1. sit back and enjoy the ride.
2. marvel at the paradox.
3. put energy into accelerating the situation.
4. get a lawyer.
5. just walk away.
6. plan to hold seminars............
7. know that all experience strengthens. whatever doesn`t kill us makes us stronger.
8. write poetry.
9. write a book.
10. negotiate.
that`s ten points off the top of my head. the more options you have the more flexibility you have and the more control. in artificial intelligence the element of the system that has the most flexibility has the most control. it`s true in natural intellegence too. it`s all the same thing. logic.

re; mobius...............

i like the mobius strip as a thing that exists in reality for a number of reasons. firstly, it provides a disconnect between what we initially think about something and what we discover about it as we look more closely at it. t he innocuous bit of paper or brass or whatever the strip is made of looks disarmingly simple in it`s construction. it`s no big deal until we trace it`s surface with our finger and realise it is one infinite surface that seems to violate our known understanding of how things are.
secondly, it is a perfect piece of physical sculpture formed with a few simple operations that a five year-old could perform. we can cut strips of paper and twist the strip and glue the ends and, voila! a mathematical, physical and psychological paradox all rolled into one.
thirdly, it is a mechanism for bringing people toward inquiry in a profound way. we naturally want to know how this thing can be and so the we begin to inquire into the math, history, politics, etc. of mobius and his work. and of course his funky little strip.
finally, it is a way to see life as paradox and learning to cope with the idea of the seemingly unanswerable. our lives are like mobius strips. we proceed along in a set direction expecting to arive at one place and suddenly we are in a totally different place without any added efort or planning. or even the want to be there at all.
that`s life.......a little strip with a twist.

mobius strip.

here is a mobius strip. it is a strip of flat material that has been twisted through 180 degrees along it`s horizontal plane and then the two ends are fixed together to create an infinitely continuous surface. you can place your finger on the surface at any point and it will continue along unobstructed across all surfaces. it is a two dimensional plane in three dimensions. you can make one for yourself out of a strip of paper and test it out.


well, there are those nights when you just cannot sleep and this is one of those nights. i realise that i`m up and there`s nothing i can do about it. getting angry and frustrated makes it worse and so does wondering what tommorow will be like on two hours sleep..................oh well, it`ll be an adventure. thankfully i don`t have any physically strenuous demands to meet. just some technical learning which i will never rememeber in a million years. but i will have to look as though i`m paying attention while the others demonstrate thier toys. as always i will have to provide problem-solving at some point in the proceedings but my intuitive brain can function in a sleep-deprived state, it`s just my body that will suffer. i hope there`s a comfy chair and a quiet office for me to hide in at lunch...............for two or three hours.

Sunday, May 21, 2006


physicists have suggested that electrons and other quanta(packets of energy.) only seem to behave like particles is when we look (observe) at them. physicists don`t say how these quanta know they are being looked at and why they change state, but this process occurs nonetheless. these quanta stop being particles when we aren`t looking at them and start acting like waves.
physicists make these statements calmly and without expression. i`m thinking, "holy shit, if this is true then our whole universe only exists as solid when we look at it".
when we look away everything reduces to squiggles of energy.
it`s our minds that are creating all this.
what happens if we all manage to look away at the same time?

Saturday, May 20, 2006


sometimes in the quiet nighttime darkness i meditate and imagine my nerves tingling deep within me as some machine that someone designed some time ago. not me specifically of course, but the mechanism that i am. that we all are.
some other conscious being took dna and, in some infinitely advanced place, added it to other dna and ran tests on different animals here on earth and eventually we came about.
we are so successful a product that we have spread out onto the surface of this planet and applied technology ourselves, enabling us to live in otherwise inhospitable places. we have become an animal close to creating life it`s self in new ways and we have developed technology that is nearing magical capabilities.
are we ready to become the conscious beings that created us?
will we repeat the process?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

what is enlightenment?

too often in modern society enlightenment is thrown around like a consumer product on the shelf, packaged for sale.
few can even describe it, never mind sell it.
in some ways it can be described by what it`s not.
it`s certainly not authority over others. the guru or teacher who preaches a method to enlightenment is generally an egotist with a messiah complex looking to have you join his cult. enlightenment isn`t a light beaming out of one`s eyes that is recognisable by those on a similar path. that is a romantic hallucination. that leads to cult behaviour too.
many who teach this idea of enlightenment are merely learning strings of buzz-words and offering classes at the local community center to the next crop of wide-eyed subscribers looking for the latest fahion in "spiritual" developement.
enlightenment can be a curse and divisive in a society that doesn`t understand the attiudes of a person enlightened in any meaningful way. the enlightened soul can anger the men of conscience and poke thier egos into conflict without meaning to.
history has it`s stories of just such things.
enlightenment gets confused with conscience, which is a construct of religion designed to set people amongst each other. conscience is an ego play leading men to interfere in politics and religion without any real understanding of how they are being manipulated. enlightenment draws people together in a gentle way whereas conscience binds and obligates.
in a.a. there is a practice whereby people are asked to differenciate between the things they can do in thier lives and the things they can`t. this is a healthy spiritual practice. mind your own business is basically what that is saying.
exactly what men of conscience cannot do.
enlightenment is the opposite of all of thse angry and resentful things.
the practice is letting things go with faith that some enlightenment will be attained.
i know what it looks like from this vantage point, but like playing guitar, i can`t make you play.
you have to practice.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

the warrior in modern society.

in the villages and towns of europe 500 years ago the warriors trained, practiced and learned skills for the action of war, which was inevitable. there are those alive today who carry the genes of those warriors forward and live thier lives prepared for battle.
what does the warrior do in the meantime, while there is nothing to do but picnics and meetings?
the warrior waits and trains and watches the horizon for the advancing horde, as they have for centuries.
the life of the warrior is a lonely one. the warrior has no position in the city. his eye is sharp for threat as ever but he is unable to act with force because of the rule of law that has taken over the defence of our society. now bureacrats are our only defence.
the warriors must now step down.
so the warrior now looks inside for strength in restraint and ministers to those who are anxious and afraid in times of conflict and provides a different type of protection to an otherwise unprotected society.

so, what is it we can do?

well, we can mind our own business.
we can smile to ourselves.
we can love ourselves unconditionally.
we can get to the stuff we know we can never fail at.
we can hold a door for someone and smile at them.
we can look directly at people when we speak.
we can tell the truth when we know we must.
we can actually take the time to smell the roses.(plan on it.)
we can know with absolute certainty that it`s all in the mind.
we can also know with absolute certainty that everyone is full of shit. (including me.)
we can know that plants have feelings and can read your mind. (!)
we can learn to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
we can remember to breathe awareness into the moment and become absolutely aware of now.
we can understand that it`s o.k.
it`s all taken care of.
let it go.
it`s bullshit.
everything is.........magically, perfectly and absolutely bullshit.
embrace the chaos and it will set you free.

Monday, May 15, 2006

if you knew with certainty.............

what would you do if you knew you wouldn`t fail?
i realise that it`s a question that gets asked a lot but it still raises interesting questions about our values.
it also raises questions about our limitations and whether those limitations are real or imaginary.
now, if you answered that you would like to be able to fly or go to mars or something else that is outside of human capability at this time then you are sort of fudging the answer. i am refering to things that you would like to do and are being done elsewhere by others and for whatever reason you haven`t managed to do them yet.
like paint, or dance, or start your own business, or walk in the hills in the rain, or meditate, or lose weight to fit in clothes you used to wear, or just plain move to another city...............
or finish things that you started and are left half done.
or throw things out that you don`t use or need or want.
or introduce yourself to someone new.
or get a cat.
or toughen up.
or loosen up.
or forget why you were so pissed off.
or smile for no reason..........because you know the second smile is real.
or had you forgotten that already?

does this stuff make you think, or do you just go back to clicking favorites and thinking about the same old things and doing the same old things and having the same results?

i think you come here on occasion and some of this stuff get in there......right in your mind, and little by little you find that you remember that you can smile and feel good, for no reason at all except that, shit................even though the day has taken a turn for the worst the smile still works..............
i know it does for me.
that`s how i know it does for you too.
because in this small way we are all the same.
we want a little warmth and love and happiness.....and we realise that it`s right inside when we choose to turn up the feelings and know with certainty that we can always succeed at making ourselves smile.
look in the mirror, smiling........
feel like an idiot the first time, that`s only natural. but the second time, a few moments later, the real warm honest smile spreads across your face and you know with absolute certainty that you cannot fail.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

how do we recognise things.

our world is filled with people, places and things. we look at these things and compare them to our previous experiences and we make value judgements by comparing the past to whats happening now. we distort, edit and delete these images as we go. the output of all of this is the next thing that we do.
but we are getting ahead here.
we re-cognise out external reality in the above way.
but what is cognised?
the first thing.
it all starts when we are first born.
all of the stuff that we experience in the first few years of our lives make up our pre-suppositions about reality.
so by grade three or four we are fully formed regarding what we distort, edit and delete.
no woder newspapers are written for a grade five reading comprehension level.
so the distinction is this; we don`t cognise. we re-cognise.
we are comparing to what we already know and then rejecting that which we don`t already agree is real.
so where does this leave us?
looking for mechanisms whereby we can look at our basic pre-suppostions about life. our values.....and see if they support our desires and goals.
if there isn`t some reasonable congruence between our values and what we expect will happen in or lives then we are heading for conflict.......sometime.
solution; follow your heart, be honest in your communications and honour yourself in love unconditionally.
the people that you find yourself surrounded by as you progress in this will know precisely where you stand.
the alternative is to betray your values to make situations easier for the short-term and constantly be off balance and weak. this short-term thinking is evident in all manner of relationships, from personal to political, in fact the political system is designed to promote short-term thinking because of term limits, so politicians get what they want and then get out.
do you want your relationships to be that way?

control freaks.

i am a control freak. i am constantly learning methods of control. i am looking for an edge wherever i can find it in the world, whether i`m on the soccer field, in consulting or with a guitar in my hand. these areas of my life are important to me and i want to be at my best when i`m doing them.
but wait a minute, there`s something missing in this descriptiion of behaviour, isn`t there?
in most discussions about control the focus eventually falls on other people. we want to learn tips and tricks about how to manipulate other people to do what we want because as a manager or a boss or a parent or a spouse that`s the job description, right?
every single instance of trouble in our lives comes when we get out of our own issues and try to control others.
the mechanisms of control are tried and true. they are well within common knowledge and they are well vilified because of it.
lawyers, ad executives salesmen and politicians are amongst the most hated of members of our society.
because they are master manipulators.
a lot of them don`t have particularly healthy private lives as a result.
there can be shown a direct correlation between manipulation of other people and mental health issues.
the cure is to stop the will to control others and deal with your own crap. then you can go into the world a nd be amongst people in a meaningful way without the need to gain from the relationship.
control you diet, control your exercise, control your education, control your thinking, control your responsibilities....but stay off others and let them get on with thier thing.
they`ll thank you for it and you`ll have more energy for the life you need to live.

can you feel it?

no, really, can you feel it?

Friday, May 12, 2006

everyone but bureaucrats knows this.............

Thursday, May 11, 2006


i have been playing soccer for as long as i can remember. let`s say forty years, for arguement`s sake. in that time i`ve worn all manner of boots. i was the first boy at school in england to have boots with green stripes on. under the lights they glowed. very cool. i have had hand-made pairs when i was paid to play and i`ve paid top dollar for pairs when i paid to play as i got older. never have i worn plastic boots. plastic boots were cheap and would tear your feet to bits after 90 minutes on the field.
until now.
the pair of boots in the picture are made entirely of composite materials. i`m not sure of the name of all of the materials but there isn`t any leather in there whatsoever.
i was hesitant to try them at first but after 10 minutes in them on the field i was convinced they are the best boots i`ve ever worn.
though they are kind of shiny.............

what are we without music?

a simple pleasure. the steel string acoustic guitar. no amplifier. no effects. nothing between you and the sound. i could just sit and play a g chord over and over all night long. but the temptation to race up and down the fretboard becomes too great after a time and so i suppose i was lying when i said that i could just play a g chord all night long.

looking for love?

people go looking for love. our literature and movies are full of depictions of the process. we are convinced by the language of our society that this is a valid process with a clear and attainable goal.
so off we go out the door looking for love.
so why is it that this thing is so hard to find?
because love is a mechanism that is in the reciever.
that`s you.
it`s not out there at all.
that`s why people search endlessly, in the bars, the parties and the beaches and resorts of the world. looking hungrily out at people who are doing the same thing..........on a wild goose chase.
the love we are all looking for is deep inside our souls. it is to be recognised and nutured and encouraged. this is the thing we have been searching for all our lives. it is the thing that makes us human. when we find love in ourselves then the entire universe becomes loving and nurturing and a simple place to function.
the next step is to look for others who are feeling the same thing too.
this love is a protector of the spirit. it won`t allow attacks and torments and deceptions. it cuts losses and severs ties if it has to.
there is no room for anything but love.
there doesn`t need to be.
there is so much love in the world that to not recognise it in yourself means that you aren`t alive.
robots are like that. doing things. not feeling.
when we go looking for love outside ourselves we are acting like robots, responding to the romantic notion of the media`s idea of relationships.
and where has that got us all?
we cannot afford to expect someone else to love do our loving to us, when we don`t.
does that make sense?
that`s like trying to breathe life into a doll.
if you want to be loved then get to loving yourself.
the idea of sullenly demanding to be loved is comical. it is the way a five-year-old perceives things.
pure ego.
if i hold my breath long enough then i`ll get what i want.
there is a better way.
crank it up.
try it and see how the world changes along with you.


dreams are powerful experiences. recently i have been in discussion with a co-conspirator on the spiritual path, regarding dreams and thier meaning. as a result of the focus of our discussion i have found myself having vivid dreams with elements of our discussions contained within them. dreams are a mechanism whereby the higher aspect of all of us can communicate, many times in riddles, metaphors and symbols, but eventually, as we learn the language things become clear.
this language of dreams has many aspects. there are ways of symbolising that are semantic, that is they can be literalised. there are ways of symbolising that are archetypal, that is they are contained in what carl jung referred to as the collective unconcious. and there are ways of symbolising that are personal to the dreamer and are part of thier personal language.
i have found that dreams can be precipitated by means of an incubation process. this essay will undoubtably result in more vivid dreams in the next few nights sleep for me, and possibly for you too.
conversations with others is another incubation process.
journal writing about memories of past dreams and from the night before will precipitate more dreams.
dreaming is an art and a craft. it neads to be practiced and nurtured and performed.
dreaming may well be a way to get closer to what some call god.


recently, with the warmer weather coming i have found my writing slowing down. as the summer approaches there is just too much to take up my time outside in the real world.
this has to become true for all of us. we come here to read and learn and share, and these are wonderful things, but life is going on right past our window as we sit over the computer trying to make sense of things.
as life starts to make some sense we need to take the opportunity to test our new ideas and excitement out in the world of people and share in this illusion and see how far we can go.
and then come back and read and share some more.
this is how the minds of generations past have evolved. read, discuss, experiment, apply. repeat.
we are no different except our media has sped up.
our lives have speed up.
our minds have sped up.
our hearts have stayed the same though. love is still everything. as fast as we can possibly go, we can only keep the thing together by remembering who we are and what makes it all work.
otherwise we are nothing and life will be over in a flash.
sure, technology has got us screaming along at multi-megahertz speeds, and this is wonderful in that it brings us all together to share ideas but what about the wind and the moon and the birds and green grass going on forever across the hills, and the little flowers pushing impossibly up through the concrete and the cats and fish and the children playing in the school yard?
they are out there now.
that`s where all the answers we will ever need exist.
in fact there aren`t even any questions......just an illusion waiting for you to play.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


today i make no apologies for being judgemental. i do it completely out of love...........and some anger.
my role is to point things out. that`s what philosophy is. saying hey, look at that.
not everyone has to agree or like the observations. we have that choice.
so anyway, part of my work is judgement and criticism of people, places and things and actions. nouns and verbs.
it`s a dirty job but someone has to do it.


do you know what i like about truth? it`s exactly like utter bullshit.
some agree, some disagree, some get angry, some get sad............
but they are the same thing; truth and bullshit.
check it out for yourself.
look how many people buy bullshit.
that should be a fair indication of what i`m saying.
did you laugh just then?
thought so. it is funny.
but you have to ask yourself how many people are buying the truth too.......or whether they`d know the difference.


we are striving to complete things. afraid to leave anything undone, any task unfinished. we go about this tasking with such obsession that we don`t stop to think what is really going on.
what is actually going on is that we are trying to feel better.
why don`t we feel good?
someone, or series of people told us that we are insubstantial.
not quite good enough yet.
keep trying.
no, that`s not it........but keep it up.
you have to try harder.
work harder.
got to keep going.
seem familiar?
it`s inside all of us. it`s a few lines of instruction that we run every now and then to make ourselves feel like crap.......right out of the blue........and then go about our day.
the truth is that we are complete already, we are done now. job finished. we exist perfectly in the moment (whatever that means.) and in completion there is no judgement possible.
and none can be accepted.
when we realise that we are like a man with nothing to lose, we will try anything and suggest anything and attempt anything and succeed at anything, just by putting one foot in front of the other and breathing in and out and getting on with completion.
what do we have to lose?

Monday, May 08, 2006

what chance?

a girl meets a boy and they date a few times. i ask her what her new boyfriend is he this, that or the other thing. you know, just casual questions about nothing in particular and then i realise that she is putting conditions in every response that i`m getting.
"oh, we`ll see", etc.
she is saying that she hasn`t made her mind up about whether this guy is going to measure up to her expectations for the future.
she is setting herself up for a series of disappointments that she is incapable of taking responsibility for in the future.
his inability to measure up will become his fault.
how did we all get to this point where we are sabotaging our happiness and we are totally unaware of the fact that we are doing it to ourselves?
i can hear how a person can rationalise all of this in thier mind about how a person is going to be this, that or the other thing in the future, but if you think for a moment you will realise that you can`t measure up to that either..................nobody can predict the future. so why put undue pressure on yourself and others to do the impossible so you can be happy.
here is the equation in a.i. terms. (artificial intelligence.)

if; impossible happens,
then; happiness happens.

in a.i. the programming, sequences are made up of strings of if/then commands.
like if you go forward and hit an obstacle , then turn 90 degrees left.
these command strings become infinitely long in the software of something like a flight simulator or x-box game or sattelite guidance system.....or the human brain.
if a software program had a command line in it that was as buggy as the one i wrote out above then the program would make the device fail.
that`s why i know that putting your hopes for happiness on the impossible is a recipe for disaster.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

the sharpening of the wit.

what good is it to always associate with those who agree with you? there are those who feel that the world is a political place and they are determined to prove i am in my view. is a place where i put in my few cents worth on occasion and i find a heathy and reasoned disagreement there when i`ve had too much love and agreement. but, you know what? i find myself reaffirming my focus on unconditional love and because of my determination, discipline or blind faith, or whatever it is that`s going on.......i find that people are acknowledging the openness of my point of view.
and that means a lot.
spring is hear boys and girls, breathe in the pollen.....become pollenated and blossom into something positive for the upcoming summer. our efforts will bear fruit for the harvest like they do every year to last through another winter.
and so the cycle goes.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

bits and bites.

we take little bits of things and measure them. we then make more and more precise measurements and find smaller bits to measure more precisely.
we call this science.
we pull everything apart. rocks, plants, animals, people, ideas, and everything else we can think of. we then merrily label and sort and catagorise each of these parts and put them in seperate places and turn around quick and forget how to put things back together again.
like our lives and our relationships and our emotions and our spirit and the universe.
what if we all of a sudden remembered how things went together so nicely and there was no seperation of anything anymore?
wouldn`t the stress level step down a notch or two?
we could realise that we weren`t seperate from the other people in the elevator going up and we could look them in the eye and smile.........without fear of what they might think because they wouldn`t think anything was wrong with a smiling person getting on the elevator.
now how difficult is it to look someone in the eye and smile for a moment casually as you look to see if your floor button is lit.
how difficult is it, for fucks sake, to just bloody well smile like you mean it.
is it costing you anything?
where is the fear in coming closer to people?
we are already. this seperation is an illusion.
i know you are desperate to smile but you have become convinced that you are uncertain of the response you might it`s only a matter of practice. pretty soon you will be a grinning idiot and so will everyone magic. and you`ll be wondering, like i do, how we managed to get to the point where we think everything is seperate from everything else.
especially when people smile right back..........every time you do.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

who wants power?

who wants power?
anyone who believes that power exists outside themselves.
i should clarify; what i mean is who wants power over others?
the dangerous types who are so shallow and empty and pained inside that they wish to take the reigns of someone else`s life.
power of this nature is a relationship between leaders and followers, or dominant and submissive types or, cowards and bullies. there are suprising number of ways to describe this relationship.......priests and sheep, politicians and voters...........oppresors and oppressed, wives and husbands.
be suspicious of anyone who wants power.......and that includes fame. these people aren`t your friend.


a word about the neurochemical model of consciousness.
there are those who become morally indignant over the idea that consciousness can be "reduced" by describing the process as one of chemical reaction. this mechanism isn`t trivial. it is a miracle of enormous magnitude. it is evidence of a wonder occuring every second of the day deep within all of us.........and we can control it. not with years of training in a monestary in the himalayas, but in your mind right now.
the mechanism that releases specific chemicals in our bodies that produce precise feelings are available to us right now.
look at the image of a lemon in your mind. smell it. cut it with a knife and taste the bitter juice on your fingers.
do you salivate as a response, just by imagining the process.
how does this happen?
i don`t know. i can describe some of the neurochemistry but the actual knowing is in how you reacted to the images in your mind.
this is all there is.
we are doing this all the time. or we are being provided images for us to react to. either one or the other.
still tasting lemon?
let it be a reminder of the power of your mind.

why can`t we love ourselves?

the modern consciousness is trapped. we are trapped in looking at things that are none of our business. petty things like how fast someone else is driving on the highway or if someone is cheating on thier taxes. moral obligation drags us into external conflicts that become personal.
we treat eachother like shit as a resultand we end up in conditional relationships with everyone...............including ourselves.
we have been trained to be this way by the church and state so that they can get on with thier business (slavery) and we are stressed and confused to the point where we give up trying to be loving and fall into resentment full time.
we have such high expectations of everything that we are constantly disappointed. when we realise that we are doing it to ourselves then we can begin to create a new world for ourselves based on trust, faith and love.
i went to a seminar years ago where a man held himself out to be able to tell if your ideas had validity or not and if he thought your idea had merit he would work with you to develop your idea. one of the people in the seminar got talking with the guy about francising operations and during the discussion it became obvious that the guy made a great deal of money each year but he was unhappy this year because he missed his financial goal of three million dollars.
the guy running the seminar said something that i`ve never forgot. he said that if you are unhappy nearly missing earning three million dollars in a year then you are doing your whole life wrong.
what madness would make someone miserable in that man`s shoes?
a conditional relationship with the self.
we put these conditions on ourselves. i see it in people. it is like a mark on thier forehead. it says dsappointed in big letters.
who knows what drove that man to a point where he was, by his own admission, miserable to the point of being desperate. but the misery is evident in the eyes of anyone chasing happiness outside themselves. no money, relationship or events are going to change the fact that the heart is heavy.
the decision to stop putting conditions on your feelings for yourself or others is the only way to change the flow of endorphines in your body.
endorphines are tiny little chemical substances our body creates that make us feel things. our thoughts create the chemicals and our body gets the feelings as a result.
phynyl-ethyl-amine or p.e.a. is a neuro-transmitter that our body creates. our bodies create this substance when we get a hug. we get a hug and in a moment or two we get a warm rush. this is p.e.a. this substance is also found naturally in chocolate.
so we really do it to ourselves at all moments of every day.
give yourself a hug.

resisting the urge to be political since 1960.

many peole who i have associations with on the internet are falling into the political content trap for traffic purposes. is one example of a fellow inquirer who has got drawn into the hit rate game realising that people are interested in spiritual, gnostic and religious matters but are addicted to politics. i resist the urge to do that for the simple reason that it`s bullshit of the highest magnitude and the last thing i want is for my day to be ground up with endless debates over who did what and why.
zero soap operas is my limit.
when was the last time you had any political power?
i have rule.
don`t play games that you can`t win.
i have another rule.
know the difference in the games.
politics, like religion, sets people against each other when we need desperately to come together.
the only way we can ever be together is if we can stand to be there for any length of time.
people who stay together are peaceful and quiet in thier hearts. you know this feeling. you know the people you are with when you are in that state are sharing that feeling too.
that feeling comes from unconditional love for the self as a ground state that allows life to grow around us.
recently i have been challenged regarding how difficult it is to get people to love themselves etc......
i`m not trying to get anyone to do anything. i`m just pointing stuff out.
the more we all love ourself first, the less we will interfere in the lives of others and peace will actually have some kind of a chance.


what is green?

simple question, but try to answer...........

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

differences between humans and cats.

1. people don`t clean themselves in meetings.
2. people have a forehead.
3. people have apposable thumbs.
4. people don`t chase the laser pointer.
5. people leave a message when they call.
6. people can decorate.
7. cats have lousy slapshots.
8. there`s no way that cats built the pyramids.
9. there are no cats on the supreme court.
10. cats can`t keep a secret.
11. people aren`t mortally afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
(but i`ve always wondered why there is a light on the vacuum cleaner. who vacuums in the dark?)
12. cats make terrible racecar drivers.
14. people don`t hide under the bed in the spare bedroom for days on end. (well, most don`t......)