Thursday, December 30, 2010

to all.

in the coming year, lets try something shall we?

you know the feeling that you get occasionally that takes you back to a time of childhood excitement and unbounded love for the simplest of things?

the feeling we used to get, and some still get, when we anticipate christmas is what i`m talking about.

i know that i have unapologetically criticised the commercialisation of christmas and the social control mechanisms of scaring children and banckrupting adults well into spring, but i`m talking about the essential feel of family, friends and time spent together.

forget he gifts, the malls and parking and stressed out shoppers...that time passed once the shops shut on christmas eve...i`m talking about making gingerbreat houses and cooking turkey and well, just generally being together with people you care about.

my wife thinks i`m a scrooge, and i can see her point...because i`ve been focussing on the negative aspects of crass commercialism and miserable types in cars rushing around last-minute to get their ungfrateful family their demands met. (shit, there i go again).

so my wife (or should i say i finally caught myself and made a decision to change) finally showed my the best part of christmas and i joined in and made gingerbread houses with my step-daughter and her boyfriend, and the vodka helped.

so what i thought we might try is to do this sort of thing more often. not that it has to be gingerbread but it needs to be family, friends or merely celebrating what it means to be excited in a child-like way.

or we can go back to the alternative.

Monday, December 06, 2010


i saw a debate recently between christopher hitchens and the past prime minister of england, tony blair, in which they debated the pros and cons of christianity.

the discussion was predictable, tiresome and pointless except for the masterful way that each constructed and delivered their point of view.

i guess what struck me most in all of this is that people who deny god outright and those who are merely religious take the same position; that of acting without fact.

and the fact remains so abundantly clear to those without agenda is this; there is something profoundly magical and wonderous going on...and most everyone is missing it.

especially those listening to so-called experts.



i knew it.

Thursday, November 11, 2010


only a child or a retard would actually believe this shit.

a child believes most everthing adults tell them, for obvious reasons, and retards can`t tell the difference between fact and fiction.

so, how come there are so many retards on the planet that keep believing this shit?

for anyone who has taken physics or even used a physics textbook to rest a beer on, it is obvious that the ratio of biomass to earthmass is so huge that no matter what the biomss does, it will have no effect whatsoever on the earthmass, even if it converted all of it`s mass to energy instantly.

what the enviro types are saying is that as we have converted biomass to energy, it has raised the temperature of the planet in a number of ways.

one by simply making the planet warmer by burning fuels and raising the temperature of cities, and two by blanketing the planet in pollutions that erode the ozone layer allowing greenhouse gasses to rise, insulating the planet against natural convection of heat.

one is false in that the net biomass is too small to make any kind of difference whatsoever, and two...while clever in the way it encourages us to make pictures in our misses one simple plain historical truth; that the ozone layers of our planet are dynamic systems that flex and flow like most others, and that holes in the ozone open and close due to many factors without the help of industrial pollution and have done so for billions of years (long before algore was born, suprisingly).

this planet is a huge beautiful place that existed long before we (and algore) did, and will continue to do so long after we are all gone to wherever we are going to and one can lament the mess made by industrial pollution, but guess what folks? without that shit coming out the pipe, we don`t get to have laptops and internet or copenhagen conferences or any other post-indutrial behaviour riding the back of two hundred years of industry.

worst of all? china and india have only just begun to soil thier shorts as it were, and who`s going to encourage them to wipe?

Thursday, October 28, 2010


persecution complex, paranoia, criminal tendencies, delusional, liars, etc.

now we have to feed, house and shelter these fuckwits.

must extradite.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

stupid fuckers

we are already protected from attacks by russian the U.S.A. and they have lots of f 35s and all sorts of other really fast jets and weapons waiting for someone stupid enough to threaten their airspace.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

boo hoo.

and many teenagers who were hoping he could get them more allowance from their parents....

Saturday, September 18, 2010

jack gets a flash.

jack in his new home. sweet little chap. so good natured and tolerant of overbred cockerpoos and so on.

jack sees the cat for the first time.


jack is a bernese/malmute cross who has been with us for two weeks now and is fitting in nicely.

the only one who has had issues is the cockerpoo. wait until jack is six months old and we`ll see how the poo feels then. retard.

action shot.

the infamous #14 blasts away indiscriminantly once again......

something baffles something else....

triple blade?

sully tells me how close he`s going to shave me next time i try to run by him.......

and we`re supposed to feel sorry for this guy?

many a criminal, when confronted with their crimes, expresses an emotional outburst.

it is normal and healthy to do so, and many a judge will see this as remourse. the beginning of the long and gradual process of making good to society for crime.

this criminal needs to begin the process of paying back to society that which he, and his agency, took...knowing it may take many lifetimes of work.

wash the feet of those who you wish forgiveness from....and look into their eyes.

then, remove the silly hat and the clown costume and begin the work that will ensure that none of your agents do such things again.

can you do that?

Friday, September 17, 2010

class act.

class act.

don`t know her, her music, or the real context of her outburst....but wow, it really gives you credibilty to chew up  a non-famous person.

hope you feel better.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

you`ve got to be kidding.

a number of things spring to mind here intitially.

firstly; canada has never had it`s airspace attacked, unless you include pigeons.

secondly; what`s wrong with the jets we got recently?

and finally; if we do get attacked, the americans will protect`s in their best interest to do so as we border with them not fifty miles from where i type.

as an addendum, to those paranoid types....if the americans are the ones attacking, it won`t matter that we have a few new jets, because they will have two trillion of i recommend saving the money and doing something useful with the money, like helping the city of burlington finish it`s new pier. (they seem to be struggling a bit).

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


consciousness doensn`t necessarily need to operate on an organic substrate.

unless you are a moral dogmatist.

you can explain your position to the machine when it wakes up.....

Monday, September 13, 2010


sorry people, but i don`t wash after a bathroom visit.

not only is it a waste of time, but its certain to  be an activity where you are most likely to come into contact with the surface contaminants of the hands of others.

And besides, the bathrooms are cleaned every night at starbucks where i frequent, which is more than can be said for handles on doors, handrails in malls, money, items at the grocery....

the problem we have in a germophobic society is that our immune systems are being weakened by the simple fact that there aren`t enough microbes in sterilised environments to allow our systems to "work out".

and now drunks are beginning to drink the hand clenser provided in public places.

and don`t get me started on peanut allergies.

i went to post a package last week and i was eating mixed nuts from a bag.

the clerk jumped back as if she`d been shot from a cannon.

"i have a peanut allergy" she said from a safe distance.

she then took the package, weighed it and took my money from my hand with any further ado.

i felt like offering her a nut.

we are convinced to behave in more and more illogical ways all the time.

pay attention people, and think things through...unless you want to be like the peanut girl....

moose feeding time in quebec city.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

kitties rule.


a night a joedogs with volumewater, a local rock band.....more to come in three weeks.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


i haven`t posted anything here since, well, the last time i posted...and i have even more followers now than before.

what have i been up to instead of blogging?

well, marriage, cycling, soccer, working out, going to the cottage (realising loons are really loud annoying birds.) eating too many scotch that my teeth hurt...and i can`t stop even though my wife will give me shit when she gets back.

And what else?

hanging out with my kids, playing guitar, keeping them from killing eachother.

oh yeah, and if there are any lawyers and/or my ex-wife reading this....fuck off.

just saying.

there. that`s us all caught up.

makes you wonder what it`s all about really, doesn`t it?

Sunday, February 07, 2010


there is a box right beside my blog posts which has pictures of those people who decided, for whatever reason, to follow my blog.

24 of you to be precise.

now, i`m not so ego driven that i need each of you to comment on each thing that i post, but.....out of the 24 people who follow, approximately 6 have ever commented.

in fact the majority of the new followers have joined in the last few months, co-inciding with a decline in readership.....down from nearly 100 views per day to as low as 5 or 6.

so what are you guys doing?

10 uses for a bureaucrat.

bureaucrats are a special breed. they roll in packs, writing policy and sitting in endless meetings dicussing more kafkaesque ways to divert the money supply to thier pet projects, and generally telling other people what to do. cut-backs mostly miss them and they lurk behind voice-mails and key-card security in thier third floor offices.

i suppose it is better to leave them well fed and protected in thier compartments than to have them roving the streets with nothing to do all week....but if, for some reason, they become redundant, here are some suggestions to maintain productivity.

1. fence posts. bureaucrats are rigid and tall standing and would be ideal for the task.

2. sign posts. a broad understanding of highway traffic laws...and all laws for that matter, make bureaucrats ideal for this job.

3. bridge supports. sure, strength and determination are pre-requisites for holding up a bridge.

4. goal posts. cut, nailed and painted white...several bureaucrats could find a second career holding a net in place during a soccer match.

5. i wanted to suggest they would make a good back yard deck, but bureaucrats don`t support anything but thier own agendas, so making them into a flat, rigid surface for people to walk on wouldn`t work.

6. flag pole. yup. flag-flying is a hallmark bureaucrat job.

7. tent poles. occasionally, unless you really wanted to go which case they would be unavailable until a week tuesday.

8. boat. for the most part, bureaucrats planed flat and glued together would make a fine watercraft, but there would be bring a bucket.

9. airplane. that wouldn`t fly.

10. bridge. successfully spanning a gap is what bureaucrats talk about incessantly. rhetoric is one thing, practicality is another. be prepared for collapse under even moderate use.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

funny thing.

recently my girlfriend`s daughter college announced they were going to strike due to blah, blah, blah...

in otherwords, blackmail for more money.

typical unionist strongarming.

the strike date has been set for 11th febuary.

on the 10th of febuary, buddy, my girlfriend`s daughter`s fuckwit dog is due to have his nuts ritually removed at this same school. the school being a verterenary technology institute.

and here`s the funny thing. my girlfriend`s daughter`s dog is constantly checking to see if his nuts are still there. if he is shouted at, newspapered, smacked, or otherwise sanctioned, he will look back to see if the boys are still intact. it is almost as if he knows, at some time or another, he will be deprived of his sole purpose on this planet....and i can see his point.

my ex wanted to do the same thing to my alsatian dog rocky. my response was; no. and also, fuck off you chronic castrating bitch, you are busily psychologically chewing mine off with your teeth, leave the dog alone.

but back to buddy the retard cocker-poo (who thinks up these names? i know, the same dipshits that breed them.).

so, here`s me thinking that maybe, just maybe, in all of buddies checking and stressing and dithering he has somehow created a small rip in the fabric of time...allowing for an minor adjustment in the space-time continuum (see albert einstien`s ideas about special relitivity....this isn`t my idea, i`m not crazy.) and in so doing brought about such shifts in ideas and events that a whole school faculty decides to go on strike at precicely the time buddy was due to go in for surgery.

ok so, there are issues at work here that are outside of our ability to comprehend....especially if the concept is described using a word with two "u"s in a row like continuum...but damn if that isn`t the largest of co-incedances.

and regarding the matter of buddies nuts; he needs to lose them. having him boss of this house is wearing thin. the household has another dog. a 200 year old female tiny white something or other that insists on going into heat every six months or so even though she can barely walk or see...and so buddy goes around pissing on everything to let all the other dogs know that the bitch is his and growling and snapping at us while we keep them apart.


other than that, he`s a sweet, loyal, affectionate little chap who looks up at me with such love sometimes that it`s all i can do to look away.

i`m not wothy of such devotion, knowing what i know.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

are you the one for him/her?

much has been written and said written recently about relationships, as is human nature. we are all looking for the right person, one way or another, to have a relationship.

recently i was in a conversation with a group of people about what we want ed in a partner, and one woman went right into listing all the things "he`d better not be/try/do."

this angry position suprised me at first, but then i realised that many people are harbouring resentment toward others due to the fact that they have had bad experiences in the past....and are determined to not have that happen again.

the problem is that it`s not the next guy/girl`s fault.

the anger you feel from past relationships will be a problem in your new relationship unless you deal with it first.

so, instead of worrying so much about whether she or he is the one for you, maybe you need to decide if you are ready to be the one for the man or woman you`d like to meet next.

if not, maybe just get a cat.

or better yet, a house plant. cats need love too.

Friday, January 29, 2010


on first glance this looks like bad news for the rest  of the world, but....when you look at the history of russian government, industry and military, you realise these people couldn`t get pissed in a distillery, never mind fight a pro-active war.

take afganistan for instance.

so, as good as the new jet might be in theory and in prototype, the on-going support and maintenance of such a plane would be a joke.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

kary mullis.

acid tripper, philanderer, hippy surfer and winner of the nobel science prize for science for inventing pcr, the way to detect dna in genetic samples.

he was an expert witness at the oj simpson trial.

he has a lot to say about the functions of science, religion and government.

he`s not well liked in any of those fields these days......

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

local government stupidity.

the city burlington decided to build a "world class" pier at the bottom of brant st. to celebrate thier ability to spend tax dollars like a city ten times it`s size.

they hired some acid-drugged designres to draw up a design for the pier replete with a giant spiralling cock that no burlington resident i know would have agreed to.

the building of the thing was proceeding nicely until the famous giant crane accident. after which all manner of budgetary irregularities were revealed.

the contractor now refuses to continue work at the site and, with 2/3 of the money wated, the project sits unfinished.

the only good part of this is that the cock hasn`t been um, erected. yet.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


no, it`s called debade. terrorism would be if someone shot her tits off with a shotgun. the problem is that fuckwits like this guy take himself as more important than those who try to involve themselves in the bait-and-switch game called democracy....and get frustrated as a response.

i think that if a politician gets pied, they should be forced to take a month off work without pay. it could be a new national sport.

it would be better than curling...unless some of those curlers could whistle that stone at a politician now and then.

and where were the rcmp while someone snuck up on a public figure with a desert?

Monday, January 25, 2010

logic vs. satire.

i try to think logically, and as a result people think i`m joking. robert anton wilson pointed that out in a lecture i posted on a video recently....the problem was that whenever you visited my blog, the video would begin to play and slowed the javascript fuction on your browser, making it difficult to scroll down the page.

i have now deleted the video.

hopefully i can find it on youtube so that it will be in a non-autoplay mode.

so, if you find this blog funny, sometimes it is because i`m deliberately attempting humour, and sometmes i`m making obvious logical comparisions that seem so ridiculous to the uninformed reader that it seems like a joke.

like the difference between counterfiet money and real bank notes?

the federal government has a magic wand that it waves over the paper before they ship it to the bank.

Friday, January 22, 2010


funny because these are the same people who are asking why the planet is getting warmer and why we aren`t doing enough to stop it.

we haven`t caught a flying saucer yet either.

maybe we we need to ramp things up a bit.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

another reason why quebec is a distinct society.

to advocate smoking, or to downplay the risk is criminal at best. typical of liberal contrarian thinking, whereby people need not strive for anything and merely wait for some magical answer to thier problems.

i lost my father to cigarettes, and help people via hypnosis and cognitive therapy to break free from years of health abuse, so when i read this kind of thing being published by professional people it makes me wonder what planet they must live on.

then i remember they are from quebec.

french rednecks.

a school child can tell you why cigarettes are bad for you and that you should stop as best you can and as quickly as possibly so that you can save your lungs.

apparently people from quebec are different from you and i.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

why marry?

well, why?

love is what most people say. "we are in love and we want to spend the rest of our lives together" is the common answer.

so, why the high divorce rate then?

and why doesn`t love conquer all....and allow marriages to survive?

the simple reason is that many people marry for the wrong reasons.

this reason for instance; buying a house is impossible on one salary.

not a good reason to marry.

and this one; i couldn`t do without him.

and; we are perfect together.

none of these reasons alone, or in combination, are good enough to justify sharing your life with another person.

so what is?

well, loving someone is really nice....but are you willing to look after eachother`s best interests? are you concerned for thier feelings....even ahead of yours?

is this person a friend of yours?

can you stand her shit?

can you laugh at eachother`s jokes.

will you listen patiently while she says what she needs to say?

will you get out of bed even though you don`t need to to start her car on a cold morning?

are you thrilled even at the thought of her smile?

and can you sit together on the couch and watch the fire burn low?

or does your marriage make sense economically and make your parents happy, knowing they will be grandparents soon?

oh yeah, and how much is the wedding going to cost, or are you able to have a modest affair with a few close friends and family?

the one`s that work, and are still working are based on friendship, trust and devotion. if you put a dollar sign in front of any of those concepts you have commerce, prostitution and conscription....sort of feudal tyranny....where one partner rules the roost and the other jumps when told.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

oh, good christ.

why are we constantly bombarded with images of this woman? if she wasn`t married to whathisname she would be a clerk at walmart....yet we have to see her every time we check out at the grocery store in some new chanel get up...on the front cover of every magazine in the rack.

and really, who gives a shit if gorilla girl has her hair up or down, or sideways for that matter.

and, why does the media follow her around like a movie star?

did they do that to other first ladies?

ya think.....

i`m sure someone will make this an issue of race soon, but in the meantime....this person is a male.


full stop.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

i watch people.

because they do really interesting things.

a lady buys something expensive from a high-end ladies shop and walks proudly down the mall with her little logo-ed bag held hip high for all to see.

she`s in post-purchase extacy.

what`s in the bag?


something medium sized and light, as the bag is small and she`s carrying it in such  way as to not be weighted down.

she reaches the door to the parking lot and looks at her purchase and continues to be filled with joy.

she walks out the doors and by the time she gets across the road she is looking again at the bag and her head and shoulders slump.

she has now hit post-purchase anxiety.

the brain chemicals that bathed her brain for the last half-hour have now been flushed out with the vigourous walk to the car, and now she has returned to her default setting.

will she return the purchase?

who knows.

many do, and the retail industry knows precisely how long the chemical soup that marketing creates in a person`s brain lasts.

long enough for the product to stay sold.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

i moved recently.

....and i am surrounded by homes that would sell in the million to million and a half range. dollars that is.

the people across our back fence are on the lakeshore road. a prestigious location in most cities where they have a lake to have a shore to.

some of these houses are so big and elaborate that they look like something out of a fairy tale.

one home on the corner of our street has a christmas tree in it that has to be fifteen feet tall and topped by an angel that is bigger than a child`s doll.

i wonder if thier christmas was bigger and better than mine?

more intense?

more christmassy?

our house is a medium sized bungalow on a street that is slowly being developed by people with a taste for competition with thier niegbours, while we are  happy to be snug with our fireplace and finished basement for all the guitars to strum away the winter nights.

i wonder if the people in the big houses have bigger guitars?

to clarify.

to even consider that animals could actually have rights is insane.

the idea of rights for animals has proselytised thousands of people to subscribe to actions which, by any stretch of the imagination, could be considered criminal.

we do the same thing when we aim for rights for children.

as adults we have the legal responsibility for the protection and sustenance of both animals and children, and as a result we must bear the consequences of failing in our obligation to these groups.

to give rights to these groups without thier ability to be responsible for themselves creates chaos.

and, of course, bureaucracy.

we already have laws in place for the abuse of children and it is against the law to harm animals also...whether the animal protection laws are strong enough is a seperate issue, and not one for justifying seperate rights for them.

or gays.

or women.

or anyone other than every adult person alive.

to give groups rights that others don`t is a privelege our society can ill afford. it sets people against eachother and stresses society in general.

september 5th last year doug saunders of the globe and mail wrote that athanisios hadjis, a canadian government official, quietly announced that section 13 (1) of the canadian human rights act, popularly known as the hate-speech law, will no longer be enforced.

the reason why the hate law is no longer being enforced is that, according to hadjis, there are better laws in place to deal with libel, slander and the like.....

wow. a calm voice in the sea of invective screaming we come to know as "the media".

maybe there is hope for society after all.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010


....but when i first saw that greenforce had aquired that boat i had a feeling that this would happen.

now, there are those who say that sea shepherd conservation society isn`t greenpeace, but come on people.....


why else would you want a carbon fibre boat guys?

this isn`t about saving whales, this is about some deep-seated psycholocial sinkhole these people have fallen into and now they are literally swimming in shit.

let`s see; chased and harrassed working vessels and disrupted thier work buy firing projectiles. then sped across thier bow and slowed down dangerously in a sort of multi-thousand ton game of chicken. then, suprisingly, one of the work vessels turns and comes into collision with their vehicle.

"your honour, my client moves to dismiss on the grounds that the damaged vessel was placing my crewmen and thier ship at substantial risk and should be asked to assume the damage to thier vessel as part of thier reckless behaviour.....unless, of course, you believe they were acting according to some higher moral authority than that which is given to us in our vocation?".

a deliberate and extremely dangerous publicity stunt.

i`m not sure why the sea sheperd boat would even have a legal right to be in those waters at that time in any regard. thier only intention was to harrass and interfere with legal work.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

k9 sent me a christmas card.

much appreciated.....

Monday, January 04, 2010

happy new year.

this is a time for renewed optimism. the mindless spending and artificial cheers has passed us for yet another year and we boldly step into a new decade.

we have a choice for this to be another ten years of the same old, or we can make some changes.

make some changes.

anything will do for a start.

i`m going to make a conscious effort to not be so nice to assholes who want to passively or otherwise stand in between me and what i want to accomplish.

i don`t have so many decades left any more.

this is my fifth, and granted it will be my best, but i want to build something meaningful for my family and those who benifit from my work.

there are those who suggest i turn a blind eye to criticism, but i feel that that is a cop-out. it teaches the self nothing but to back down....and that becomes a dangerous that can generalise out into a mess of apologetics and consessions....while the world passes by.

no, fuck it.  as i say to lawyer who the mother of my children hired to divest thier father of his efforts and the legal guardianship of his boys.

fuck you. how can you live with yourself. how can you so distort the law that feeds and protects you so that a man`s assets can be stolen in plain sight?

anyway, that said.....let`s get on with 2010. it will be a good year.