Sunday, December 31, 2006

the new year.

well, the new year is upon us and it is a time for reflection. a time for looking back over the last twelve months to see what has come and what has gone and where this is all heading for the next round of existance.

there is a great battle coming. a battle for our minds. it has been in the making for centuries and as we become versed in the esoteric knowledge of the adepts that has always been available to the chosen few we will be able to see more of the pattern in things.

it is going to be interesting to see how this will play out in the next few years.....will we remain transfixed as a culture over the love interests of the rich and famous and who`s killing who, or will we begin to really look at the revelation that is available to all of us now that, at least for the next while, we can talk freely amongst each other.

is this really the year of the individual as time magizine says, or are we just going to go back to sleep and ride the storm out with a newspaper and cnn playing in the background?

i think the choice is for the individual to make.

thanks for reading this far.

happy new year.

make it yours.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

my sister`s new house in somerset.

"new" to was built in the 12th century. i think the windows have been replaced though.

oh yeah,

and a special thanks to jon moore for making my gold top les paul sound so, um, vintage.

he has been making a pick-ups for electric guitars for a couple of years now and if you need to make your guitar sound better for 2007 then put his pick-ups in your guitar.........even if it`s a blue hagstrom.

gratitude. genuine gratitude.

these are the people that, over the past year, have helped change my life.

for this i am eternally grateful.

bob brohman.
chris jones.
richard bandler.
kelley windebank.
alan watts.
elaine dow.
bob "the baptist" briar.
patrick mallaret.
elaine and gail, who`s last names i have never known.
the girls behind the counter at starbucks.
all my teammates.
al gordon.
olga bakai. (both of them......)
a number of girls called cynthia.
tim boucher.
the contessa.......for selling the house.
my sister.........for buying one.
rayburn and trevor, for thier immaturity at such an advanced age.
all my clients, who must remain nameless. (unless they bounce a cheque!)
lisa ashton for being absolutely and completely charming.

if i have forgotten someone it`s through no fault of thiers...............

this as been a year to remember.

thank you everyone.

three beautiful things.........................

my life.

my children.

the next thing that will occur.

be water...........

it is not the system or ideas which are most important, but the individual.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


well, i think i`ve figured out what the end-of-the-world types are going on about.

a clue comes in the form of the question, what has been emerging most rapidly in society in the last ten years?


what is information?


with the emergence of personal computing and growing databases of everything and blogging as a learning tool where people can discuss anything they want to, we are seeing the emergence of personal power.

time just named the individual the person of the year.

because never before has the individual held so much power as right now.

so what suffers at the hand of personal power?

culture, government, religion and pre-existing dogmas and value systems and family games and so on.

it is truly the end of a type of world.

an end that has been predicted for centuries and an end that keeps on happening.


i do disagree that religion says we are god in disguise though............that`s my job.

t.a. simplified.

t.a. suggests that the consciousness is comprised of a parent, an adult, and a child. each of these elements can have varying degrees of effect on the person and can rise and fall in reaction to external stimulii.

the child wants to play, the parent wants to direct and criticise and the adult wants to be reasonable.

our live`s are determined by how functional each aspect of the consciousness is and when each aspect comes into operation.

we react to others by communicating with these three elements of our personality as they do to us.

adult to adult interactions are where the "normal" business is conducted. when the parent and child come into play the games commence.

a harsh parent aspect as a dominant character trait will trigger a resentful child possibly or fearful one......or another harsh parent or a calm adult who will ignore the harsh parent game altogether.

the formulas are endless, but in simple terms once you see how the various aspects of our consciousness relate you can analyse most situations reasonably accurately.

internal dialog.

i am reading transactional analysis at the present.

t.a. is a study of aspects of the personality in relation to others........hence the transactional aspect of the name.

but something just struck me. i`m a proponent of the nature of self-direction. it`s what we all do at the end of the day. there is no more domineering boss than the self.

so this self that dominates our lives must also have the same characteristics that other people do and subsequently can be analysed in the same way regarding games.

the games that t.a. describe as played between people can also be played internally and are as effective and as limiting as the external ones.

so if we are playing games of varying descriptions with ourselves, when we change the game we change the life............


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

three beautiful things................

gotham racing III for x-box 360.

halo II plays on x-box 360.

my children playing x-box 360 (and me..............)

Monday, December 25, 2006


just how confused are you about your uncertainty that you don`t know what to do with your life?

are you so uncertain that you might be certain about knowing that you may just be the only one who does know what you want and actually need to do with your life.......because really, who the hell else could possibly know what`s right for you now?

and besides, you have always managed to land on your feet this far........................

so what the hell.

and haven`t you noticed that more times than not what the hell is the right answer.

do not read this if you are catholic.

the pope said that we are in desperate need of a saviour then he went on to say that he has left the plight of the world in the hands of the baby jesus.

which one is it?

it`s no wonder that catholics are confused.

do not worry..............

.........................about how much you eat this christmas holiday unless you are going to pay attention for the rest of the year.

one week`s overeating equals roughly 2% of your dietary year. you can afford to absolutely stuff yourself silly seven days straight and still see your abs come the spring...........unless you continue to chew relentlessly until easter, in which case you`ll probably have to be removed from your house by crane.

have a merry whatever you`re going to have over the holidays and drive carelessly. insurance companies need the money.

Sunday, December 24, 2006


we are enriched by that which we resonate with. we recognise what we resonate with through our feelings.

this isn`t to say it`s a trivial process, one of childish greed or selfishness purely to satisfy an immediate want.

what happens is that we have a need to resonate with the things that enrich us for our survival as a spiritual and a physical creature.

knowing the difference between the trivial and the vital is the key to enrichment.

at no other time is the ability to discern the difference more important that at christmas when we are deep within the consumerist spasm of gift-giving (getting.) and are borderline psychotic with fatigue trying to get everything done.

the thing we desire most is love.

give it yourself first.......and then others will recognise that and accept what you have to offer.

everything else falls into line after that.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

the road never traveled.

statistically the likeleyhood of something happening in a person`s lifetime diminishes significantly once the ratio reaches around one in ten thousand. this means that the likelhood becomes insistinguishable from "never".

to illustrate this we only need to look at the ratio of one in two hundred thousand, which is the odds against being hit by lightning. i live in a suburban corridor of millions of people and a few people each year get hit.........but nobody i come into contact with knows these people.

the other side of this is the ratio of one in one hundred. the ratio of people who earn $100,000 or more to those who don`t.

i deal professionally with people who earn in this bracket and they are the same animals as thier less affluent counterparts.

so when we say we will "never" attain such levels of income are we refering to the 1/10,000 ratio or the 1/100 ratio?

income relates more to how you prepare mentally in your life that any other factor.

otherwise the ratio would be significantly higher...................

technorati code.........................

Technorati Profile

technical stuff. (i don`t undrstand it myself but i`m learning to follow instructions.........)

the report.................

said you`ll live longer if you are optimistic.

but why would you want to live longer if things suck so much?

(that`s a hypnotherapists joke...................)

another opinion.................

about says it all.

Friday, December 22, 2006

who do you work for?

who do you work for?

here`s a clue as to how i`d like you to think about answering this question.

i work for me.

now, having said that i need to say that i get paid based on my output and get paid by those who benifit from my efforts.

i have arrived at this arrangement because i wanted it to be that way and i never accepted any other arrangement or suggestion that there should be any other arrangement.

this goes back to my point about thoughts creating reality.

i don`t agree that we should be slacking or moving away from work. i just think we need to be clear who we work for and why.

what is work?

work can be defined as a measure of output or of effort exerted. culturally it is defined as a thing we all do or strive to do for money, social position and as a way of sorting time. as part of the cultural flow it creates psychological well-being.

we can safely say that to have a job is to feel good on many levels at once.

but what is really happening here and why aren`t we happy about it?

what is really happening is that we are indoctrinated into outputting effort to attain rewards held out as valuable by media.
this is the tip of one bloody big iceburg.

a clue.

how do we treat those who are doing what they love and make a living at it?

be honest about how you answer that question because it`s a measure of how programmed you are about work.

niether one nor the other.

there is a middle ground to the idea of work. it lies in doing what you enjoy and are passionate about and recieving payment for you efforts.

the last posting dealt symbolically with the idea of the indoctrination of work for it`s own sake, the idea of salvation through effort.

as if we need salvation firstly and then the further concept of judgement of those efforts and the granting of benifit to those who meet the criteria.

does anyone actually believe that shit?

when has that actually ever happened?

there are so many games played with this mechanism held as a valid premise that i wouldn`t know where to begin to explain them all.

consumer society demands that we accept the work/reward game as an honest one...........and it` a lie.

that`s why we are pissy all the time. we have been betrayed since we were small and can`t quite put our finger on how.

to compound the issue further it is instructive to note that the majority of those who do the indoctrinating are unaware of what they are doing and firmly believe they are playing an honest game of teacher or minister or boss or manager or even parent or older sibling.

watch the movie the matrix again if you haven`t already watched it a hundred times.

oh, and one last thing; smiling seems, for whatever reason, to fuck up the programming.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

work makes you free.

we must tread carefully here. i used the image on the link provided above to illustrate a number of feelings i have had growing up and am leading to an important nobody over-react here.

the picture on the link isn`t terribly awful. it`s a picture of a row of buildings with a sign written in german. i used this image to connect to a feeling i used to get when going to school as a child in a small village just east of london.

the feeling i used to get was a visceral dread. a horrid looming desire to run as fast as i could to get as far away from that place as possible.

if anyone reading this went to primary school in england in the sixties they will know what i mean about oppressive archetecture. disturbingly similar to the buildings in the picture in the link above.

enslavement ending in death.

sounds about right.

that`s why i`m a rebel. that`s why i decry modern culture.

it`s a concentration camp.

more about smiling.

the act of smiling triggers brain chemicals called neuro-transmitters to be released.

we are all drug addicts of one sort or another.

my view is that modern psychiatry does themselves and us, thier potential patients, a great disservice by not characterising behaviours via this mechanism more directly.

it seems pretty clear to me that most issues of mood are directly linked to these class of chemicals.

for example the disorder known a sad or seasonal adjusted disorder is due to seritonin issues related to diminished sunlight throughout the winter. my ex will be the first to attest that i have had episodes of this.

the non-medical cures for condition are more sunlight and 5-htp, a neuro-transmitter available at any local health food shop in north america and europe. this reasonably inexpensive suppliment totally aleviates the mood issues experienced by the majority of people relatiing to the change in available sunlight in the winter.

another example is the neuro-transmitter phenyl-ethyl-amine, or p.e.a., found in chocolate. this drug is released into the brain when we are hugged by someone we love. p.e.a. is known as the love drug.

smiling at someone and having them smile back......or even smiling in the mirror at yourself does the same thing.

so unless there are biological or medical reasons why your brain is deficient in these common processes you should be able to create any mood possible through practice.

we are addicts.

our brains are drug factories.

what drugs are you on?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


smiling is an interesting process. it is both a cause and an effect.

we smile because we are happy and stimulated by pleasant things.

we can force the smile and trigger the same feeling.

that may seem odd or uncomfortable to some, but the fact remains.

if you look at yourself in the mirror and make a smile face however you can, the image you see in the mirror will make you smile authentically.

we are hard-wired neuro-chemically to smile when we see another face smiling. they are contagious. there was a smiley-face program started by someone when i was a teenagerwhereby people were wearing yellow disks with a cartoon smile and a pair of eyes on them. this was enough to make people smile in response. i think over time the symbol lost it`s effectiveness and became representitive of particular political leanings but nontheless the fact remains the we are predisposed to responding to grins.

try it to see if i`m right.


now try it with people..........especially if you mean it.


we are presented throughout our philosophical travels with ideas that don`t agree with our own. the natural reaction to exposure to such ideas is to reject them and reaffirm our attachment to our prior position. this determination is biological in nature, as the physical system recreates it`s self and maintains systems of sameness because they work. the actions of thinking flow in line with this homestasic mechanism for survival purposes.

the problem arises when we autmatically react by rejecting new ideas without holding them in a comparitive structure in our minds for a period of time so that we can objectively evaluate them.

the shock of exposure to new and radical ideas is enough to send most running back to the safe and familiar, yet real interest and inquiry is where the discovery of new benifits lie. there have been times when i`ve lifted up a rock and been horrified initially by what i was presented with.........but by suspending judgement briefly i have gained insights into many areas that i wouldn`t have had access to by criticising and editing to fit my prior understanding.

we have to accept that the bulk of what we take as hard operational fact is belief and therefore can be replaced by alternate beliefs and still function.

don`t try that with your internal organs though.

Monday, December 18, 2006


there are occasions where it is fruitful to be openly grateful for the abundance in our lives.

to recognise something is to resonate with it.

the resonance sends information back into the universe, aligning with more similar "it"...........

so what are we grateful for?

don`t think you can be grateful?

try this.

the sky above, whether blue, grey, orange, yellow or black as ink.

the birds in that sky.

the sea, the mountains, the trees, the people you smile at each day having them smile back and lengthen your spine as you lengthen thiers...........

alan watt. what would we see with out mr. watt?


great shoes.

the sheer thrill of it all.

timothy leary and my favorite saying of his. "when they try to get you down, come back at them with as much love as possible."

the great miracles that occur each and every second all around us.

well, that`s a tiny portion of what i`m greatful for. some of that which i`m grateful for would seem egotistical to some if i mentioned it. but hey, you can`t please everyone.

when you are free.

sometimes the only way you realise that you are free is in retrospect.

looking back on the last few months i realise that i had been living like a large animal in a restrictively small cage.

the last few months have been a sort of coming to grips with the fact that the cage door is in fact wide open and that i`m free go and do whatever i wish.

anything at all.


in retrospect i realise that i have actually been having fun. i am involved in serious creative projects, i`m reconciling a seperation pretty much as planned and i get to see my children happy and relaxed, glad to see thier father.

so all of what i have written about on this blog for the last year and a half is coming home to roost.

i can live with that.

three beautiful things.

the humour of my business partner.


how an atmosphere of play and laughter can create an environment where problems can be indentified and solved.

unconditional love.

well,here it favorite subject. unconditional love.

two things here.

1) love. defined as, an all encompasing feeling that just feels good.

2) unconditional. defined as, without condition. automatic. default setting. given freely without expectation of reciprocation.

the added aspect that i always stress is that there is only one person that this feeling applies to in those specific terms.


everything else is part of or is leading to a game.

when you attain this state of unconditional love for yourself you are honest with yourself, you don`t play games with yourself, you don`t engage in behaviours and relationships that can bring harm and you allow yourself the ability to be human.

to try to do this to/for someone else is asking for trouble.

realise that it is always a work in progress.

and imagine if everyone took this seriously enough to stay out of eachother`s shit for a day or two? a week? six months?

with a smile on thier face?

taking control of your brain chemistry.

a controversial subject amongst the religious and philisophers alike. whether our reality is purely neuro-chemical or something more complex.

my view is that it behaves like a purely neuro-chemical effect, so why go any further.

when you practice controlling the pictures you show yourself and the way you talk to yourself in your head.........and the content of the external media as then, over time, begin to alter yor brain chemistry.

your minister knows this, the yogi knows this and so do the good folks who control the media, so lets grow up and take our minds back.

3bt for december whatever it is..............15th?

not caring what the date is..........

playing soccer in 15 degree weather today.

knowing i`ll see my boys christmas day and maybe thier x-box 360 will have arrived by then.

Sunday, December 17, 2006


games, in the transactional sense, are so ingrained in our psyche as a culture and as a species, that to stop playing games and become functional is almost impossible..........for the simple reason that nobody can stand being around you.............

because when you call the game, the game tends to end.

if you know what i mean then you are on the path..........

if not, then consider this;

in the game called alcoholic (a popular game played by three or more players, the payoff being look after me, i can`t. ) when a person begins to stop drinking all the other players are threatened with having thier game stop. depending on how serious a game is being played, this turn of events can turn nasty. in a hard game the outcome can be the courthouse, hospital, jail or the morgue.

in my view of spiritual enlightenment one becomes enlightened in direct correlation to being able to recognise, call and change games for fun and profit.

one does have to eat and entertain one`s self, afterall.

Friday, December 15, 2006

alan watts.

entertainment and enlightenment combined.

the matrix.

though this movie has become a sort of cartoon that people can gloss over and ignore for the most part, it is still the closest i`ve seen to opening the door to understanding that we live in an illusion created by religion and government to bind us to the consumer/robot society.
we are bound by fear to behaving within strict bands of behaviour. the "don`t walk on the grass" sign permiates our whole existance and we obssess on the tiniest of things that consume our energy and leave us tired and frustrated that we didn`t do what it was we wanted the first time................

so here we are. what the is the time to do that think you wanted to do, to say the thing you wanted to say and to feel what you really wanted to feel.

do it.


i have experienced the most amazing things when i just held my ground and had confidence that things were going to go my way........and they did.

files get lost, opportunities appeared, people change thier minds and things that weren`t allowed yesterday are now ok.

bank on it. it`s your reality. claim it.

and the funny thing is you know exactly what i`m talking about. you`ve seen it happen time and time again. maybe always to the other guy..................but he was just believing it was going to happen and it did.

now it`s your turn to have the other guy drop out of the running or a new manager take the caseload or a new department open up with the need for your skills.

or even better than that; an opportunity so amazing that you can hardly believe it yet here it is...............waiting for your next move.

has this happened to you before?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

three beautiful things for today....................

a warm day in mid december. after this i will go for a bike ride to celebrate.

a sense that things are coming together.

knowing that things work in specific ways.......with absolute certainty.

Monday, December 11, 2006


as i am in a library at the present and for some reason unable to access a reply page i will respond to yves here.

i would like to be effective in my humanitarian role as would most who experience the emotion, but the point hardin and others including myself are making is that it makes no sense to send money to feed people only to have them begin to kill eachother......or migrate into other countries where they disrupt economies there. these are hard issues to deal with. much like funds for homelessness that have done nothing to actually curtail homelessness.

in reference to warm feelings, if giving a few dollars or pounds to a charitable organization is a seen as a solution to such problems then we are in dep shit.

i sleep well knowing that i have positively effected my clients who then return to the community able to be more comfortable and effective. there isn`t much more that any of us can actually do without involving large corporations and politics, and that`s no way to get things done.

i fall back on my assertion that it is the conditioned feeling of conscience that is the problem here, not our willingness to help. that`s innate.

eric berne, the father of transactional analysis, had much to say about games and scripts. i will dig around and see if i can find a direct correlation to the game of "feed the poor".


we are conditioned from birth to have a concience.

what purpose does this serve?

in modern society concience makes us feel responsible for others, many of whom we don`t know and couldn`t possibly effect.................yet we are asked to feel somehow responsible for thier care and safety.


garret hardin wrote a book some years ago called filters against folly. in that book he wrote quite a bit about the idea of ecolate thinking, or what happens after we do something.

he was working towards the idea that we are to give charitably to charities to feed nations who`s crops have failed.

on the surface of it it would seem like a wonderful idea to feed starving people in foriegn countries. it is the hieght of humanitarian action and, to some, the clear indication that we are an evolved society.

but here`s the other side of the coin.

those people that we fed and sheltered and showed how to sustain themselves are now merrily murdering each other in a cycle of natural genocide that has been going on since day one in africa.

so what good is it to feed a group of people only to have them return to the fray once they have thier strength back?

it`s clearly not. we are merely acting on our guilty conscience..................and some who read this would rather kill the messenger that face the fact.

this applies to poverty, homelessness, literacy programs.........etc, by the way.

so who benifits from all this fund-raising and bureaucracy?


things i haven`t been posting about recently.

with the move (again.) and business focus and everything else i have found myself wandering away from my favorite topics.
in the upcoming weeks i will be returning to the ideas and concepts regarding consciousness, unconditional love, guilt, concience and ideas as things.
it is time to put a sharp point on my thoughts to prepare for the next phase of my life.

you are welcome to join me if you like.


rules are made by those with some authority, to create boundaries and guidelines. somewhere along the way many have forgotten that the rules are guidelines. when one becomes enamoured with the rules one then has the capacity for the utmost rudeness, cruelty and malice. it is evident in government, bureaucracy and in controlling relationships of all description.

is i before e the exception?

you be the judge.......................... jury and executioner.

just be big enough to live with your decision, one way or another.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

more than three beautiful things.......

comments on my blog.

the sound of my children laughing.

tube amplification.

a warm day in december.

missing an opportunity to play football to spend time with my children.

three days until the presentation that i can`t discuss......................

the thrill of it all.

spending time with sarah on her last day at starbucks.

i before e, except after c.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

3bt for december 9th 2006

eagerly awaiting my children`s first sleep-over.

getting my apartment made into a home.

a break in the cold weather...............maybe a game of soccer on sunday?

ideas are things.

ideas are things.

they are as real as bricks and iron rails and internet connectivity.

you are creating things by thinking each and every moment of your life.

unfortunately most of us are behing the eight-ball by thinking negatively about things.

we know what we don`t want and discuss this viewpoint in our minds.

what this does is send a thought out to resonate with exactly and precisely what we don`t want.

then it arrives.


bills, bills, bills.............

what we focus on comes back to u s. it has to happen. it`s the way things work.

just be careful to focus on what you want.

and don`t be surprised when it arrives.

well, not too suprised...........

Thursday, December 07, 2006

3bt for thursday 7th december, 2006

being alive and in good health.

having good ideas......................

looking forward to playing x-box with my children for the first time in three months.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

decision-making strategies.

we are operating perfectly all the time. we just get anchored to poor strategies for doing things.

for example............remember how we feel badly when we think about doing math problems on the blackboard in front of the class? we don`t have to do that these days, but remember when you did?

we have anchored so much discomfort and pain to the process that we shy away from problem solving altogether now unless we really have to.

and that`s a shame because we have these huge brains that are designed perfectly for problem-solving and decision-making.

the teachers forced us into painful positions to attempt to solve problems and make decisions.

so we solve the problem now by deciding to avoid math, logic and decisions period.

but here`s the thing. we are still working perfectly.

when we are happy and comfortable we meet the challenge of solving problems. the solution is obvious and we decide to act on the solution comfortably and effortlessly.

when we are hungry we eat. when we are thirsty we drink and when we are tired we sleep.

when money runs out we work.

when we need a laugh we seek humour.

when we are lonely we look for companionship.

look at how we see ourselves in these situations.

moving freely towards our goals with the outcome in plain sight.

we don`t even think about doing these things because of how we arranged the goals in our mind.

once you see the difference in how we percieve the effortless vs. the difficult in your mind you can begin to shift the difficult to where you put effortless.

try it.....................

see how you do effortless and see yourself doing the difficult the same way.

keep running the idea over in your mind.

did you notice that the difficult becomes less so over time?

this is what happens when someone else tries to convince you to do something.............if they persist you start to feel differently about seeing yourself doing what they suggest.

you can do it to yourself too. now.

3bt for december 5th 2006

snow.....................riding my bike carefully as i haven`t got the knobby tires on yet.

the english girl at starbucks who is excited to see a real canadian snowfall.

getting my large leather couch into the really small elevator. (and telling rachel about it...........private joke!)

Sunday, December 03, 2006

so who do you think god is?

if we aren`t god then who is..............and what does this person think about?

what logic does he apply regarding things like relationships for example, or government, which he apparently made and was quite happy with the result...........or airline customer service or banking or the mechanism we know as the human knee or religion or physics or car insurance or hurricaines or, um, dating.

or maybe we are all doing this as a consensus of all the interactions or our individual universes clashing together on the surface of this planet in three dimensions of space and one (apparent) dimension of time..........

or............maybe you are just a figment of my imagination as much as i am of yours.

a figment so substantial that it is completely and utterly concrete.............ish.

because you have your doubts don`t you?

you`ve seen little flickers and flashes of some sort of glitch occasionally and those experiences linger in the memory.

3bt december 3rd 2006

playing soccer in the cold with friends..........and smiling and laughing.

the words drawn in the condensation on my window by my children.

being able to spend the afternoon with my children unexpectedly.

Saturday, December 02, 2006


with all the changes in my life recently there have been periods where i have been unable to blog consistantly.
now is one of these times.
it will be a few more days before i can get my internet connection at the apartment and so i will have to wait for opportunities to post as they arise.
there have been times where i have "hacked" the terminals at chapters and posted, but the servers are so slow thereas to make the task tedious at best.
this cold evening i am grateful to be able to be broadcasting from my friend`s shop where he has an office set up, so i can post occasionally.

3bt for december 2nd 2006

seeing my children enjoy thier first visit to my new apartment and knowing they are going to stay over next saturday.

waking up to see that we didn`t get snow overnight.

starbucks coffee. (i realise i`ve said it before but there are no rules against it...........!)

Thursday, November 30, 2006

three beautiful things......for a wet thursday.

my friends who are helping me move and are keeping my legs moving even though i`m stressing..................

the weird and wonderful world of derren brown. his videos are available on google. prepare to be amazed.

the thought of soccer tonight.

oh canada..........

...............bureaucrat`s paradise.

3bt proven to work.........

there are those who say that spiritual work isn`t to be happy, but y`know..........some people are never satisfied.

my view is plainly that it`s about the joy. what we focus on is what we get more of.

if we engage in a practice that makes us reflect on what we like..................

............we might just get more.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

this is over 2000 years old.........

hey people, this is over 2000 years old, shows precise, scientific knowledge of metalurgy, astronomy, machine tooling etc...............

someone has been telling lies about science being a modern process.

and lying about some other stuff too.

memory pill.

this drug doesn`t diminish the memory of a specific event. it changes the chemistry of the brain..........

can you say "side-effects?".


the birds were sitting in the trees along the railway tracks. i noticed them as i rode my bike home this afternoon, not because they were sitting in the trees, but because they were making so much noise. thier singing was so loud that they got my attention over the din of traffic along fairview street. thier singing and the fact that there was so many of them. there must have been 3 or 400 of the little guys spread out over four or five trees. i stood and watched and listened to them for several minutes before all of a sudden they went quiet and one group from a smaller tree surged up into the air and landed in the bigger one and they all began singing again.

it makes me wonder what could have possibly been the reason for all the noise and movement. the jostling for position continued in smaller groups as i watched, but nothing as profound as that one gesture.

mysterious and beautiful at the same time.

and then i got on my bike and left them to thier inscrutable ritual.

3bt 29th november 2006

moving stuff into my new apartment.

recognising my freedom.

having the opportunities to change my life .

Monday, November 27, 2006

tim strikes again.

tim boucher, in his blog, has, once again, provided a perfect posting to summerise my position regarding speaking one`s mind.

try it before you buy it.

the solution may come in the form of a trial run.

try to be positive about things and physically and consciously remove as much negative imput from your life as possible for a set period of time............

say 21 days.

get a calendar and post your days of positive programming, and simply begin.

like physical dieting it does mean that you have to cut certain things out, mind you.

here`s a list of recommendations.

talk radio and news programmes.
discussions of a negative, political or religious nature.
negative thinking.

these are things that get one attracting more misery. they are designed to do this deliberately, the miserable person consumes more.

remember that you are only going to do this for 21 days and then you are free to go back to the old way of doing things.

proof that we are the creator.

ok, so which sort of proof?

science cannot calibrate or measure consciousness, though they hold out psychiatry as a means. religion fails in a similar way for different reasons. politics and it`s sciences don`t give a shit one way or another as long as you vote..........and philosophy got bogged down some time ago regarding shadows in a cave.

so, it`s really down to you and me.

do you have the confidence in your own ability to be creative and positive about your life? there are plenty of reasons to feel either good or bad about things and so it really comes down to which way you decide to go.

and that being said, i guess you must be least of your own little patch.


a game of soccer on grass in late november and being warm.

friendship on the soccer field.

knowing it`s hard to keep it to only three things.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

to not understand.

to not understand that we are the gods who make the grass green is the master accomplishment of the thing we call culture.

it is the thing that media created to dull our minds toward material pursuits that we can never attain.

the media is designed to make us behave in such a way as to tire us completely. to exhaust us so that we have no ability to think in spiritual or energetic or creative terms.

like pouring a cup of water into the ocean in the hope of seeing it rise, we continue to want more things. this consumerist urge is driven by culture from the time we can remember our first thought.

to begin to understand what i`m talking about you must despise culture so much as to begin to turn it off.

bit by bit you must ignore newspapers, tv, magazines and anything else that delivers a window on the artificiality of media.

including conversations about it.

when you have done this long enough, and only you can say how long this will take, you will start to become aware of something else.................


when you stop listening for opinion and value and method from elsewhere you begin to think for yourself, from areas in your brain that maybe haven`t been used for a while.

these areas of your brain or consciousness begin to activate when they realise that you aren`t hypnotised any longer.

then the fun begins.

but remember........there are those who would have you nailed to a tree for thinking this way.

you can tell who they are even today by the little gold crosses they wear around thier necks.

Saturday, November 25, 2006


in conflict there comes comfort. there comes a justification......when others will take up the cause. but what`s it all for?

if we can discuss things for long enough then points of view can become clear and the level of tension diminshes.

but see what dies?

the universe that contains the conflict....................

if we become so intensely focused on the universe that we decide is real, then we act as if we didn`t create it and that we have no power over it whatsoever.

which is bullshit of the highest calibre.

but it can be the greatest thing imagineable.

if you build a universe of love and compassion and gratitude and sharing and understanding...........of yourself.

pretty soon you will have forgotten that you decided that this was the way things were. but the people, places and things that emerged in your reality, that were attracted to you ideas and concepts and actions, will be acting in accordance with your views anyway. they will be proving your thesis all the while.

it`s happening every nanosecond of every day we exist in consciousness.

we are begining to wake up to it.

i think with better and faster means of communication more people are getting the message...........that we are the ones who make things real.

for a moment imagine i`m right, what are you going to dare to create for yourself and those you love?


there will always be criticism. it is a natural part of opinion. those who are confident enough in thier own opinion tend to be tolerant of the opinion of others, but occasionally there are those who have desire to discuss thier views in a confontational fashion. and so, with the greatest of balance and tact it can be useful to counter agressive disagreement, for the developement of communication and the understanding that people have the right to have a different perspective on a subject.

this position goes further to the idea that we are the creators of our universe.

otherwise, why cling to a position to the death?

you must believe something is going to die if you change your mind.

Friday, November 24, 2006

when it comes to the spirit.

when it comes to the spirit, we have to realise that it`s all up to us.

there is nobody else, incarnate or otherise.

you can have faith in whatever you like...............but the reproduceable fact is that we are the one`s making this shit real.

and when you read and disagree with my position you are just validating it.

its not that you are caught in some clever semantic trick of my devising, it`s just that our consciousness is what`s driving the universe.

the question i have to ask is.................. why do some people have to focus on the negative?

do they like it?

does it make them appear consciensious?


what it does is ensure that they`ll have more of what they`re focussing on.

when you realise that the universe works that way and that you`ve seen the proof in your own life then all you have to do is adjust your focus.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

3bt nov 23rd 2006

two are attached to one girl massaging my foot to help it heal.

one is the warm sun on a cold day.

it`s good to be alive............................

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

the material and the spiritual.

we are spiritual creatures having a material experience.

so let`s enjoy the journey.

i am criticised by some on the path that feel that the focus on the material is somehow injurious or possibly even morally wrong.

my message to them is that we need to celebrate the material in all it`s abundance and take advantage of what we have manifested in front of our very eyes.

we are doing it.............

so why deny an essential aspect of ourselves?

and i do expect an answer.

there is only one thing.................

we are looking at pictures and talking to ourselves.

there is nothing else.

we are dreaming this whole thing.

you are inside your head right now comparing what you have just read to what you know..............

......................and accepting or rejecting based on that function.

what happened the first time this happened?

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

3bt. 21st november 2006.

the cold night air as i ride.

the bird`s nests in the trees, visible now that the leaves have fallen.

getting my apartment. a space of my own. to arrive and close the door and know that i am alone.


the secret.

i really want a mercedes. not a new expensive one, just a nice clean used one about 10 or more years old that i can maintain. they are made like tanks and drive well and look nice too. i have been seeing myself driving one more recently.

my business partner says to me the other day, "you know, i bought this 1980 mercedes 280 e and i was wondering if you`d like to drive it..........."

well, you have to watch the movie called the secret to understand the deeper meaning of my partner`s kindness.

what we ask for resonates with the universe.

the universe has been waxing my mercedes for me now for weeks, waiting for me to take further action.

a sneaky quiz..................

i post this occsionally as a reminder to myself and to others about presuppositions.

it is well worth the time going through and trying to answer honestly...............


Monday, November 20, 2006

telling stories.

one of my favorite things, when i was a child, was to hear stories being told. whether it was my father or a radio show or on tv. it didn`t matter. i just loved to become immersed in the story and become part of the action.

i`m like that to this day.

my therapy sessions consist of stories interlinked together in a weave of metaphor and symbolism that leads the client into a suggestive state of possibility in healing, laughter, change, discovery and challenge.

i think my clients like thier stories because they think it hypnotises, which is why they came. what is really happening is they are changing thier beliefs through the story-telling. they wouldn`t do it if i just told them to change and gave them technical reasons for doing so.

they suspend one belief for long enough for another to be accepted.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

cheating at 3bt....................

today was too beautiful. it was, and still is, hovering around freezing outside but we got together and played football (soccer.....) this morning and it was wonderful. like cold water, once you are in it``s great.
the ages of players varied from early twenties to mid seventies and everyone had thier moments on the ball. the young ones ran and the older ones played wise.

how many beautiful things is that?

and that`s not even mentioning the starbucks coffee or the pretty girls or the conversations or plans for this evening with my children.



spending time with a beautiful girl while drinking beer.

laughing with a beautiful girl while drinking beer.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

three beautiful things....................again.

waking up at 9.30 am on saturday and realising i got a full night`s sleep after going too hard all week.

realising i`ve only got 12 days until i move to my new apartment.

realising that i have good friends that have helped and supported me in this last few months while my life decided to fly upside down for a while.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

three beautiful things.........

the fog th e sun went down the fog rolled in, and as we drove to oakville along the highway it became thicker until we could only see red haze in front of us to indicate the cars ahead. beautiful and slightly unnerving at the same time.

memories of spending the evening with my children last night and knowing there will be more to come.

a game of soccer with friends in the inflatable dome in oakville, on astroturf. even though we lost 3-2 it was a great time.

my buddha head is smiling at me from on top of the guitar amp as i sit here................he knows.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

check this site out..........

it was like reading my own words at times. very cool and very comforting to know that there are other ministers of unconditional love out there.

love yourself no matter what happens. even if you never use capital letters in your writing. even if your hair falls out. even if you smile all the time and people wonder what you are on. even if you openly display affection for your children. even if you ride your bike all over town, winter and summer...........and it`s not an environmental statement. even if you use the word fuck in a blog posting about love.

even if.............

the observer effect.

In science, the observer effect refers to changes that the act of observing has on the phenomenon being observed. For example: observing an electron will change its path because the observing light or radiation contains enough energy to disturb it.
In quantum mechanics, if the outcome of an event has not been observed, it exists in a state of superposition, which is being in all possible states at once. The most famous example is the thought experiment Schrödinger’s cat, in which the cat is neither alive nor dead until observed — until that time, the cat is both alive and dead (technically half-alive and half-dead in probability terms).

again, i pinched this paragraph from tim boucher`s site, i don`t think he`ll mind.............

the observer effect. it basically says that we are the one`s who decide the outcome of things. whether they be experiments or business decisions of affairs of the heart we are the ones who decide the outcome............beforehand.

science, or certainly a growing branch of it, is coming around to what the rest of us already knew........careful what you wish for.

it`s so well known that it`s in common usage in language.

"careful what you wish for."

the new age thinking that says that we are god and that what we think creates reality is now being proven by science.............

i believe that with the more common use of the internet and open discussion of these ideas we will see a gradual falling back to meditation and a spiritual practice amongst society that will leave the modern church scambling to get thier parishorers to return.

by then it will be too late.

the frayed edges of the church in our society is finding it harder and harder to convince people to come and listen to the minister. this fraying will get worse as media gets more of what people are interested in in front of them.

politically we have taked a step back fifty years recently but that is going to change pretty soon. i`m not an advocate of political solutions to spiritual issues because they are personal paths, not class issues, but the conservative, religious right promoted church culture non stop for the last seven years.

people need to be given spiritual choices as opposed to dogma. there are already three million laws on the books pertaining to how we relate to eachother, we don`t need laws to frame our relationship with divinity.

the strength of the divine takes care of that.

a picture................................

thanks to tim boucher for producing this diagram illustrating the pathways of universes or seperate consciounesses that can occasionally jump or blend or twist or otherwise come into contact with eachother. this may be an explanation for ghosts, esp, psychic phenomina, miracles, magic, intuition, creativity and the existance of the very universe it`s self.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

we are the ones....................

we are all able to do this. i think that was jesus` message to us.

i think this is where the modern church fails the message and the people.

those three things.

patrick roy inducted into the hockey hall of fame.

my tom thomson book.

finding my new apartment yesterday.

i will post three things that i recognise as pleasurable and beautiful occasionally. i realise that there are those that do this daily and i encourage the practice as one of abundance.

i tend to get distracted by so many other things that interest me or spring to mind as i`m riding the bike that i will probably forget.........but i guess i`m still focussing on beautiful things anyay.

what does enlightenment mean?

it is a term that is used frequently these days so i thought i`d scratch the shiny polished surface of this word and see what i might find underneath.
one can assume that the term refers to the spiritual developement of the consciousness. we all agree on what that means, right?
well, what does that mean.....?
we assume that spirit can develop and that it is somehow benificial to do so, like training your muscles to get stronger by lifting weights.
i see this approach used often by people , characterised as a path or way. as if they are moving towards something that is quantifiable and that there will be something different and somehow better for them when they arrive.
that makes it pretty hard to be satisfied with the ever present now doesn`t it?

to me, enlightenment means being less heavy and seeing things more clearly. an ease of movement and of consciousness allowing creativity, love and caring. being able to see the beauty, abundance and sheer joy of being alive is a treasure that, even though the feeling visits for fleeting moments sometimes, it is a comfort.........knowing that the feeling will return again.

the opposite of cranky?

Monday, November 13, 2006

is science a religion?

i am constantly revisiting this question for the simple reason that most people pre-suppose that if a concept has science behind it then it must be valid and true. the statement that something has been proven a scientific fact makes people go into a deep trance whereby everything that is said afterwards is accepted as true.

there are so many situations in modern society where the sciences are wielded as weapons against criticism that it is hard to find a place to start.

i will start with hypnosis because it`s a field i have some expertise in.

the medical and psychiatric profession has long held that hypnosis is dangerous on one hand while saying that it doesn`t exist as a measureable treatment on the other. science`s lack of ability to measure, calibrate and synthesize the process is what causes them the concern in reality, but they use fear as a way to illegitimize the modality to thre general public.

this is a tool of the church to make people afraid to use traditional methods of prayer and worship, leaving only the church as a spiritual refuge. the wars that rage around the world as we gather here are mostly conflicts of ideology.

what else does science do that is like the church?

it asks us to accept events and processes on faith and accept unproveable ideas as fact.

the big bang.



the origin of humans on the planet to begin with.

industrial emmissions are causing global warming.

these are the first issues that come to mind. one`s that science and politicians like to swagger around with and expect us to not question thier validity..........though a logical mind will ask obvious questions like, um, what exactly is gravity? or clarify the big bang thingy in layman`s terms will you? with a straight face please, and try to make it sound at least slightly different from the seven days of creation from the bible.

three beautiful things........

my guitars.
my children.
my health.
my bald head.
my devilish grin.
the sunrise.
the children playing in the schoolyard.
the escarpment.
the hindi girl who owes me a phone call.
the scottish girl who`s phone number i need to ask for.
the eagle flying high above simply doing his job.
magnum the dog. his love is unconditional.
starbucks coffee.
another starbucks coffee.
my soul which burns with the passion for life.

that`s more than three isn`t it?

oh well. such is the beauty of life.............and i didn`t even begin to mention the works of beethoven and mozart and flamenco guitar and seeing yes live and all the other bands, too numerous to mention.......and, of course love it`s self. for the self. deep inside.

and thank you alan watts wherever you are. your laughter sings in my ears this moment.

beautiful thing.

the animal nature of such a beast is a joy to behold. it`s panther-like profile and it`s hunched attiude give the impression it`s just waiting to be unleashed somewhere without the restriction of things like speed limits or transport trucks in the passing lane.

oh, to be free at 300km/hr............or however long you dare to maintain that speed.

three beautiful things.

what a great idea to stay focussed on the positive and the abundantly beautiful.

from now on i will try to post three beautiful things on a regular basis.

here`s todays;

1. reading beating tottenham 3-1 today.

2. my two boys and our time together today.

3. my dreams of a new mercedes. thanks to all the designers, engineers, assembly workers, salesmen and everyone else in the mercedes organisation for making such a car available.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


i`ve been to jeruselem, the vatican, and the pyramids. they`re called sacred places. but they`re just dirt and some angry people fighting..........

carlos santana.

what is this life......................?

well, we`ve discovered that life isn`t what`s on the surface. that`s a front put up by the societal mask, designed to steal our individuality.

this theft is necessary for the greater good mind you. without it there would be chaos.

the theft of individuality is ane easy one to correct though. it a takes a decision and a discipline to stay away from mechanisms and agencies of programming and propaganda.
the challenge is that sometimes the agent is a friend or lover or boss or teacher......................

once you start to meet the challenge the mask falls away and you realise that you can build your new life any way you wish to.

so what do you wish?

Saturday, November 11, 2006


What is a gnostic?A gnostic is someone who lives by the truth of gnosis which says that the divine can only be experienced through personal experience, achieved through introspection, awareness and respect for all other beings because all beings contain the divine spark. Gnosis is available to anyone at any time.Gnostics, like any revolutionaries, are motivated by love and compassion for others. We are teachers of self re-discovery in an age of fear and personal distrust. We are not elitist – the divine intuition is available to anyone and everyone. We are not world hating – we are against anything that crushes the divinity in the relationships between living beings.The primary goal of the gnostic is the end of all “gnostics” – the rediscovery of the profundity of experience by every being which renders the term useless; the dismantling of the Black Iron Prison in gnostic mythology.

i got this definition of a gnostic in my travels. if i`ve swiped someone`s writing i apologise but i think the message is important enough to be clarified this way.

as you might have guessed, this definition best describes my spiritual position.

the divine can only be experienced by personal experience.

the priests are fabulists.........................

Friday, November 10, 2006


how fast will a computer have to be before it can be conscious?

is this a trick question?


a writer of fables.........but also, a liar.

i read the word fabulist for the first time today. i love words. they create reality as they are read and spoken. i was fascinated to see the juxtaposition of the words fable and lie as common in origin through the action of the person known as a fabulist.

says a lot about mirriam-webster`s view of fables.............

my worst fear.

is that god is a disincarnate entity sitting in a high place creating all of this and allowing us free will on top of all that.

that would be a cruel fate.

my father expained his theology to me that way when i was a child and i was horrified. i though what kind of sick joker would create things that way........and then send his agents down to convince us to worship him on top of all that.

it sounded more like the actions of some imagined tyrant.

stop imagining tyrants and they won`t continue to appear.

imagine yourself being able to provide for yourself and your family and living a happy life of provision and abundance.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

definitions of god.

i the last posts we seem to be touching on differences regarding the difinition of god.

to me god is the creator of everything we can possibly see, hear, smell, touch and taste and react to emotionally.

some feel as if this person or entity is a disincarnate consciousness that is outside of our scope of understanding and that we should accept this on faith and just go about our business and let the priests update us as things progress.

that works for some.

some feel as if god is a mad spirit doing what he wants randomly. the archon of gnostic belief.

some feel as if we are all different parts of the same consciousness split up into billions of micro-consciousnesses all experiencing this reality from different perspectives.

i feel as if we are all an individual god of our own personal universe that may in some way co-incide with the god idea of the last paragraph. i also feel in some way that we`ve been on this ride before and we are trying to get a better result this time.
then there are moments where it all seems so totally random as to be almost be futile..............but then the sun comes out and the birds sing and a beautiful girl smiles.

what i do know is that what one focusses on long enough becomes real.

so the random/futile shit gets file 13.

and i will choose free will.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

and the answer is...................

the reason why i like questions like that is because it forces us to look underneath the thin surface of everything we assume is a certain way.

there is so much fuss made over guns that most wouldn`t think that swimming poosl kills more children than guns do in a year.

what other questions can you think of that need answering?

like, what exactly is a big bang anyway?..........and explain gravity while you`re at it.


compartmentalisation is a common practice in organisations. it serves many purposes, all of which serves to allow control of people within the group. they are only told what they need to do thier job and no more. for the majority this causes little concern. people do thier job and go home to bed at the end of the day and start again tomorrow. the only time there is a problem is if the individual has to act independant of the organisation.

this is true in clubs, associations, leagues, teams, political parties, gangs, the police, the army and religions.

and in society in general.

you only need to know enough to do your job and then quietly retire................

but we are realising there is more.

so where do we go and what do we do?

keep asking questions my friends...........and pay attention to the answers.

here is a question i saw tonight.

what is more dangerous; a gun or a swimming pool?

i have a rule about politics. i don`t waste my time. but i will make an exception here because i want something stated for the record. because the democrats got the result they wanted there is nothing wrong with the electorial system and electronic ballots etc. if the republicans had held the house then we would have been exposed to endless hours of spit and piss over tampering and conspiracies and skull and bones..........and bush joy-sticking hurricaines into florida...........

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

if i was god.

if you were god, what would you do?

ok. now think, what was the first thing you decided to do as god?

give yourself a raise................................................?

realise that you are god now.

realise that all you look at is your creation. because you have decided everything about what you are looking at. you have owned it. now it can respond as you choose by making you feel how you want to feel.

that makes you a god.........


you do this all the time. every day, all day long.

once you notice yourself doing this you realise that you must be god, or one of many billions of forms of consciousness all experiencing this thing called life now.

so just sit back and enjoy the show. it`s about to begin.

do you remember your dreams?

not the ones we experience when we are sleeping, but the ones we experience when we are awake. the ones the, if we follow them, turn to excitement and the belief that things are possible in htis world if we persist.

those kind of dreams.

similar to the ones that drive people on to great things.

we beinfit from those who dream properly. they see the pictures and then allow themselves to step inside what they see long enough to make it happen. we beifit from those who dream properly because the make things and do things for us that we need and enjoy.

like computers and houses and cars and guitars and amplifiers and soccer stadiums..............

you get the point.

all started with a dream.

do you remember yours?

the futility of uselessness.

or, if you prefer, the uselessness of futility.

these feelings come occasionally. they are a natural effect of being alive. they happen because of the seeming randomness of life and physical reality.

but the events are temporary.
time, as we have constructed it, marches on. then the next thing comes along. are you prepared or are you still licking your wounds?

set forward.

deciding to bond with things, to say, "ah, finally" when something good happens or get upset when the bad things happen is a way to stagnate and to stop the flow of creativity, and you don`t want that.

set forward.

you have to set your sail each day and to press on toward your goal. the vision you have. the dream.

set forward.

it`s pretty simple. the world you have created is a product of the pictures you have showed yourself in your mind and how you spoke to yourself as a response.

you are hallucinating and talking to yourself. so is everyone else. we are all in the same boat. and that`s good news.

set forward.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

how you act and how you react............

not only how you act forms your reality, but how you react also. when we see something we desire we do certain specific things in our minds that attract or repell what it is we are percieving.
the gold guitars and the orange rocket are examples of things that are desirous to us. we can go on at length about media conditioning and materialism if we want but the fact remains. we want these types of things to play with.

if we are really honest with ourselves.

there are those who have a position that it is somehow wrong to want things, but they are merely creating that state for ego purposes. the fact still remains.

the hierarcy of needs as pointed out by maslow clearly says that once one has satisfied the need for food, fuel and shelter then one begins to look toward creature comforts and companionship.

it`s the way we are.

the struggle with elements of this function creates, or is driven by, neurosis.

not everyone wants an italian sports car or a vintage electric guitar, i was using those as good, clear examples. your desires are different.

a house on a hill possibly, or a castle..........or a downtown penthouse and a limousine?

people do live this way and are quite normal in thier thinking. they`ve just wanted things longer and with clearer intent.

this is the nature of our consciousness and spirit. it is what it means to be alive and here in physical form.

we are doing it already. we just forgot we are doing it.

from gold to orange.

perfect little orange scramer. it`s a lamborgini gallardo by the way. whatever you call it it`s still beautiful. just another manifestation of the abundance of things around us, when we choose to notice. this one was growling around burlngton yesterday enjoying the fall sun.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

well, there they are.

there are moments where words fail...................

Thursday, November 02, 2006

setbacks...........revisited briefly.

not that i enjoy setbacks but they are an opportunty for a test of the emergency optimism network.
today i lost an apartment/office suite that had been offered to me for december 1st in a building with a healthfood store in an area with other practitioners and affluent shopping and restaurants.
two hours later i had made deal for living accomodation and a similar office in the same area.

set forward............

i will not be swayed from my focus and my goals.

i am grateful for the opportunity for the test.

set forward.

i like the concept so much that i just had to repeat it here.

set forward.

you keep saying it and it makes greater sense eachtime.

set forward.

i forgot the problem now.

set forward.


what is the opposite of setback?

set forward.

when recieving a setback, always be planning a set forward as quickly as possible.

set forward.

the apartment/office i was to have moved into on december 1st has been rented to someone else. i found this out today. two hours later i found better acommodation.

fuck it. set forward.

i could have gone home and felt sorry for myself and got plenty of support and legal advice but i`ve got things to do and need to get on with making the arrangements needed to accomplish my goals.

set forward.

my new concept for living.

set forward.



the human mind cannot process a negative. any fact is taken at face value, objectively accepted as a functional fact. for instance, the command don`t processed as falling. then deconstructed regarding intent.
so look at this;

the images and statements made go directly to the part of the mind that accepts things unconditionally and then the behaviour is adopted. these people knew this already.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

created realities.

i firmly believe that we all live in realities that are tailored, to varying degrees, to meet our personal needs and expectations.
i believe that we can create our own specific outcomes for ourselves and i believe there are those who want this to be true and are searching for ways of making this so.
i also believe there are those who believe things eventually turn to shit and make it happen as a result.
we are all right...........and are determined to prove it.
the conflict arises when someone is bent on saying that thier own take on things is the only way. i realise this isn`t true because we all get different results from our efforts.
so whether you believe that material things manifest by thought or whether you believe we are doomed to a mundane existance at the whim of the are right.

life is a trance.

the successful are in a trance. the poor are in a trance. the middle class are in a trance. these trances are made up of a combination of things, from pre-concieved ideas to social pressures to on-going natural attitude to so many other factors that it`s impossible to guage.

the fact remains that the trance that the successfull are in is available to anyone.

i`ll repeat that last statement now.

the fact remains that the trance that the successful are in is available to anyone.

unless you refuse to try.

why would a person refuse to try?

pre-concieved ideas about how things are..............beliefs about themselves and about the world. moral and ethical cluster-fucks that impede a person`s ability to change thier state consistantly enough to do things differently.


so when you stop believing in all the irrational fear you can easily change your state of mind by deciding to do it.........

and then be patient enough to let it happen. let the opportunities come. let the solutions be provided. become part of the picture you dare to see as a result of the shift in your focus.

this becomes your new trance.

an animal.

we have the capability now to visualise and manifest our desires in any way we wish. there is something inherently anthropomorphic about how some cars look........this one in particular looks about ready to chase gazelles.
now i`m a hungry cat...........

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

the pictures in your head.

did you know you can change them?

did you know you can put different one`s up there?

really exciting ones..........

when was the last time you did that?

thrilled the shit out of yourself.........for no reason other than it felt great.

choose a picture or a movie of something that cranks you up. a memory of something you did or experienced that changed your state to pure pleasure. move the image around and change the lighting and the colours and notice how the changes make you feel and follow the direction that amplifies the state you feel.......

now double the sensation by choosing to now.

if you have got this far in the practice you must realise that we can do this any time we wish to just by imagining the situation as you just did.

the feelings you come away with can now be used to drive the next thing you want to do in your day.

a question of conscience.

guilt. the drug of choice for the sea of religious dogma that we are afloat in. when we are conditioned to feeling responsible for the plight of others.......less fortunate than us or not, then we are prey to manipulation by religion and corporations and government.

i make no apologies for mixing metaphors to get a point across. conscience is a useless emotion.

conscience is a tool applied by the media to control out thinking. there are those who will now go inside and say to themselves that without some form of control that there would be chaos and people would be deciding what they wanted to do and to hell with what others think. people do that anyway, and use guilt to control others and manipulate and take what they want.......

that`s what people do.

it`s just a question of who want`s to be in control of what.

me, i want to be able to make clear decisions about what`s best for me and not have to wade through endless hours of conjecture about the cure for this and the solution to that or the reason why things went to shit somewhere or la-la-la............

turn the tv off. stop reading the newspaper and go for a walk. tell your kids you love them and decide what you want to do with your life and what you want to be involved in by adressing the pictures in your head in a meaningful way.............maybe for the first time in your life.

that`s what it means to take responsibility.

and smile for fuck`s sake. this isn`t a funeral.

alignment with desires.

we exist in something. inside of what we percieve as clearly defined reality. inside of this space and time things operate within certain guidelines. all of the stuff here existed in the consciousness of people before we saw it in reality.
it came from somewhere else and appeared here.


we think it. and it appears.

even science is begining to begrudgingly say that things seem to operate this way.

what we have and what we feel is driven by what we think will happen. we have thoughts and we focus on them then things happen because we acted on our feelings.

so the things here are made out of feelings.

our intentions.

so our intentions pull material things out of somewhere else and into physical reality.

sounds like magic.

and science agrees.


a disconnection.......

i have noticed a seperation in thought between those who characterise themselves as spiritual or following a spiritual path, and those who follow a path of afluence.


i see the creative act of abundance and simply earning money as spiritual acts. we live in a society and a global humanity interacting through the means of materials and money. all that we do is represented by the accumilation of money and possessions.

why is that wrong?

granted, what we choose to do with those things can lead to problems.......but that`s the role of education, to teach responsible wealth and responsible aquisition.

i see a great crime in plainly conditioning the minds of people to think that money and possessions are somehow wrong. that`s a recipe for disaster. the disaster comes in the form of resentment toward those who can create joyfully and out of a sense of abundnce in all things. that form of thinking deprives people the ablity to live the life they want.

it`s as if there is only so much to go round, in the eyes of some. and where does that thinking come from? that`s as defeating as earning money for the sake of earning pouring yet another bucket of water into an ocean.

see the astonishing beauty in things and the excitement of dreaming with intent about doing what you want in life and see yourself doing those things now and be grateful knowing that this vision will bring you into alignment with your desires.

Monday, October 30, 2006

what cost?

i think that we cannot risk thinking that our thoughts don`t effect reality. there are those who laugh at the idea that a thought creates an energy wave that creates the thing that thinking saw. these people consume the bad news as entertainment and proof that thier ideas about reality are correct.

i can`t afford to live with the risk that that kind of thinking is wrong.

so the no cost solution is to just behave as if our thoughts do create a wave of energy that go out and bring back the things we want in our lives.

the negative thinking people, or those who deny that thinking creates anything, are proving me correct by default. all of the thoughts about bills and failures and reversals of fortune and accidents surround people who dwell upon ways that ensure they will get what they focus on.

but they can`t for a minute entertain the thought that the positive might work too. then things wouldn`t be so hard and they`d have less to complain about. some get evangelistic about how hard it is to do this or that and then prove it.

so whatever you believe you are right. the mind creates the proof for whatever you choose to see.

that`s whay i can`t afford not to see the positive.

positive and negative thoughts.

i am criticised occasionally for my views on postive vs. negative thoughts. i promote good feelings for no reason and so there are those who feel that i`m merely avoiding all that is negative in life.

i`m not.

i`m merely saying that to focus on the negative is to attract more.

so don`t do it.

what you focus on sends energy of attraction so that what you focus on comes into your life.

there plenty of others caring for the negative, so it`s well taken care of. if you worry about such things.

me, i`m interested in seeing health and wealth and happiness for myself and those i care about and so i talk about positive energy that goes out and attracts more as we hold that picture of what we want in our minds.

really look at what you focus on daily. be honest with yourself. is what you focus on coming back multipied?

i know it is at this end, and i`m no different than anyone else. what i look at and what i tell myself about those images in my mind are exactly what my life has emerged as.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

unconditional love.

i haven`t written much about this for some time as i have been focusing of visualisation, but as i have said so many times elsewhere, unconditional love for the self is the state where everything becomes possible. the joy, the happiness, the calm, the reassurance. it all comes from a state of unconditional love the self.

this state is a self-referencing mechanism which makes it impossible to begin on a path of harm. you just let those ideas and feelings go and wait for better ones to arrive.

no matter how long that takes.

did you get that?

no matter how long it takes.

sometimes that means forever.

which means that some forms of thinking have to be left behind. especially the one`s that make you do things that will lead to harming yourself or others.

it seems like such an easy thing to do.........but it forces you to take responsibility for your own care..........and to let things leave your life that are going to cause you harm.

how do you know the difference?

tell yourself over and over how much you love yourself. this may be difficult at times, but keep going. eventually you will mean it, i promise. once you start meaning it you will be able to discern so much that seemed invisible before. your whole life will change. some things will come into focus and some things will fade completely. that`s what love is. the creator at work.


a nice crisp sunday morning in late october. the sun is out and the wind has died down. a perfect morning for a game of football. and after eight weeks my broken ankle has healed and i am free to run once again. just another thing to be grateful for.

the three musketeers.

what better way to celebrate the cold but with a run in the park with friends..............
england 5 canada 1, for those who keep score.

a reminder.

we are made up of what we see, in our mind`s eye, and what we talk about, inside our heads.

everything else proceeds from there.

we began doing this, this time, the moment we were born. many of the ideas, feelings, concepts and certainly outcomes come from a pre-literate time in our lives. a time before words.

this is why it is important from now on to watch what you say and what you see in your mind`s eye. choose what you want to see and hear and allow those images to lead you forward each day.

over the next few days and weeks and months these images will create a reality for you that you want.

it`s happening now anyway. it always has. it`s the way things work.

why not shape things the way you want?

the answer to that question precisely describes your reality and predicts your future.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

the wolf.

as i continue to read this remarkable tale i am reminded of an experience i had as a teenager. i was walking home from a girlfriend`s house one night late. it was one of those magical deep winter nights that one has to experience firsthand to believe. the snow was deep and the air was crisp and fresh and the sky was alive with stars so bright and shining as to be alive. i had left her house and her love for fear that her parents would discover us and was still warm with our passions as i set out across the fields. i had nothing but my jeans, boots and a t-shirt and an old army coat that i had brought from england to fend off the cold. as i walked my persective switched for a moment or so and burned an image into my mind so deeply that i can see it now as i type.

i could see myself from outside my body as i plowed through the knee deep hair blowing back as i stepped and my coat open against the cold defiantly...........

then as suddenly i was back, but this time, remarkably, i was a wolf seeing and smelling and feeling a million times more intensely than i did moments before. i knew for that instant what it was like existing as a wild dog.

all three perspectives then tumbled about in my consciousness as i continued to walk. no words could describe what had happened in rational terms and they never have since. only the shamans have spoken of such things.

since then i have had similar experiences with other animal energy. the red-tail hawk flying high above the hydro poles along the side of the highway spoke words in my mind...........hunt and kill.

that`s all he knew.

the squirrel

he sat there on the sidewalk perfectly still, as if he was looking at something just across the road. i noticed him as i rode by on my bike and gave him a wide berth so as not to startle him. he was suprisingly calm as i passed but i kept pressing on against the rain and wind, eager to get home and warm. i thought it a little odd the way he was stretched out like a resting dog front and back paws pushed out from his body with his belly flat on the ground but i kept pedalling.

he was there the next day as i rode by, still in the same position. i realised then that he`d died as he lay there, held in his last pose as his spirit left.

i see him there when i pass now and his body is comfort to me as i ride because i realise that his essence is long gone and that all that remains is what struggled here in material form. his spirit and industrious squirrel joy have gone on to some other plane of experience that we can only imagine.

so it is with us isn`t it? we are born, we experience stuff and then we move on. the spirit remains though. i`m convinced of that now. i have had flashes and glimpses and feelings of too many other planes of experience and consciousness to believe for one instant that this is all that there is.

and to my little squirrel friend i say, happy journeys......... wherever you are.
yves commented recently and has me thinking. he said;

"There is no problem with this idea of spiritual as you have expressed it. The problems come from everyone's attempt to hijack our feelings in order to influence us. Religion, politics, advertising and the tangled web of civilisation try to hijack our feelings, just as pornography tries to hitch a ride on our sexuality."

this everyone that he refers to begins with the media. the pictures we are fed become our reality. we then cut and paste these images together for our own pleasure. the problem becomes when we make real people into pictures and try to combine the pictures with pictures of other elements of our lives and then close the book, as if to trap the images for ever like so many snapshots, to only open the book occasionally when we feel like it.

example; i dated a woman recently and was enchanted by her east indian beauty and her joyful attitude. we spent nearly five hours talking and laughing and i am planning to repeat the experience soon. she told me about a man she dated who seemed nice and they went out a few times. on the third date he wanted to show her something. he took her to a house and asked her if she liked it. she was impressed but he then asked if she would be happy there........after three dates. she was very troubled by that and asked me what i thought about what had happened in his mind.
my answer was that he had taken a snapshot of her, a snapshot of the house, and a snapshot of the life he saw for them and then tried to put them together with her permission into a scrapbook and then closed the lid.

it`s quite a common practice, and quite deadly.

it leads to people being put into moulds that trap them. some are willing to go into the picture at least for a while, if they believe that`s what they want. but it`s only a picture. it doesn`t move and flow and grow and feel and love and laugh and age and what if we want to have some human experiences and someone has closed the book on the pictures?

we all need new pictures every day. it`s hard at first, but then it becomes the only way. new ways of seeing the same familiar things.

what happens then is that it`s like falling in love with life each time you open your eyes.

Friday, October 27, 2006

i am about half way through this book and i would highly recommend it to anyone on a buddhist path or anyone who believes our thoughts effect reality in any way.

i asked what people thought spiritual meant and the universe answered by presenting me with this book.



does anyone have any experiences with such things?

please do tell.


my network card issues seem to be resolved now and so i`m optimistic that i can settle back into a routine of posting.

so much has happened in the last few weeks that it is hard to find the words to convey the feelings i`m experiencing right now.

coincedances. sufficient to create goose-bumps.

i realise i`m not being coherent and as i re-read what i just wrote i realise that`s precisely how i feel.


that about sums it up.

when you stop trying to control the universe opens up.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

more computrer challenges.

the network card crashed again, so for the forseable future i will be broadcasting intermittantly from alternate ports..........

today i am typing on the chapters book store computer...........

being grateful for the ability to do so.

Monday, October 23, 2006

what does spiritual mean?

what does the word spiritual mean to you........?

i read somewhere the definition of spiritual was "of the spirit." well, thanks webster for that wee tautology. saved you the bother of thinking, didn`t it?

to me, spiritual means feelings. the experience of sensation in reaction to things. blue herons for instance........or the date i had on saturday with the incredibly beautiful west indian girl. or the knowledge that i`m a dynamic part of everything else that is occuring here.

spiritual means that we are a part of this abundance called consciousness that goes on forever, everywhere. with or with out us. now and forever. we can`t stop it if we try........though there are those who manage to cut themselves off from it and sit with thier arms folded in some protest against those who do........

and what`s that all about?


hello again.

my computer network card crashed on thursday and so i have been unable to communicate until the computer is operational once again.

in the meantime the world has kept spinning and games have been won and lost and opinion has continued without me.

now i will join in again without permission or restriction.

this morning i rode to oakville to pick up my now-fixed laptop and on the way back across the bronte creek bridge i decided to stop and enjoy the view.

the bridge crosses the bronte creek about 40 feet from the water and from that height one can see upstream into the bush and into the deepest part of the creek, split in two by a sand bar island. we are past the best of the fall colours but the sun was out and warmth was nice on a windy october day and i watched as a pair of ducks swam together upstream. just then a blue heron rose from the water and up directly toward me, his wings slowly lifting him higher with each graceful flap. he climbed up directly above my head and around and up into the trees on the east bank........i was held breathless as he continued his flight around once again and back over the road behind me and away to the south.

i felt a a connection to this natural scene. a thrill of recognition of myself and the majestic flying dinosaur.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

what kind of god are you?

what kind of god are you?

what have you manifest in your life?

is the list of things, people and events and occurances pleasing to you?

if you answered yes to the last question then crank up the gratitude until you are sure you will burst with the love and joy you feel knowing that your life is as rich as you wish................

but if you answered no, then stop putting time, effort and money into thoughts about things you don`t like.

like that........

just stop.

and in place of those thoughts find things to be grateful for and put emphasis on that feeling.
find where in your body and soul that the feelings of gratitude originate and see if you can make it grow up and out into your entire being. make it so strong a sensation that you could be sure that if someone saw you now they would know what you are thinking and feeling, just by how you appear.

now, isn`t that better than what was happening before.

now. know that if you continue to be grateful and see more of what you do want, you are sending a message to the universe that says "this is what i want from now on".

the universe will now send you these things.

it`s happening now everywhere anyway.

so be careful with that mind. train it to focus on the things you want and they will come to you.