Monday, July 31, 2006


one of my favorite subjects is ufos. not because i think they are alien space craft, because i don`t know what they are. my fascination is in how millions of people report this phenomenon in hundreds of different ways. specifically lights in the sky are reported as points, globs and orbs that do impossible things and swoop down and shoot off and defy known physical laws. some see metallic objects and large wings, some of which are miles across. a classic example of this is the phoenix lights case that can be googled, revealing a vast event witnessed by thousands of people in a major metropolitan area in the u.s. and captured on hundreds of video cameras.
we are past evidence and witnesses into a state of stress whereby we are ridiculed for what we are plainly seeing. we are ridiculed by government, science and by the religious for fear that something greater than thier control is emerging into our consciousness.
we need to stop calling them ufos. the term is the single most recogniseable acronym in common usage followed by fbi, cia etc...........
the term ufo has gravitated into a word that elicits laughter in general conversation and effectively censors the issue completely.
researchers such as steven basset and victor vigiani of the disclosure project have suggested using a term such as unidentified arial phenomina, or uap for short, to semantically rejoin the debate and slip away from the derision in the media so that we can inquire and investigate this phenomenon again and get answers.
the human condition is so fragile that the mere association with a term with ridicule blinds us from critical thought about it.
we need to stop thinking george bush is an idiot too..........

real and not real............

put that in your pipe and smoke it.
all of modern scientific reality sits inside what can be proven. all of what cannot, as yet, be proven doesn`t exist.
the scientist cannot love. he cannot see ufos. he cannot even dare to dream for the most part. he can only live in a trap of proof that his scientific dogma has limited him to.
the scientist will begrudgingly admit eventually, if you press him, that love, ufos and dreams of future glory have some contact with our reality, but he will ask you not to put his name and reputation on the idea.........because there is no proof.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

stay with me on this one.

o.k. so we are taught to hold on too tightly to our bodies by literalising the type of terms our caregivers used around us a young children. get a grip, or pull yourself together...........interesting instructions to give a child. how would an adult know any different though?
we grip everything tightly now and our bowel is no exception. the waste we eliminate is held until the very last minute in this constriction we call existance. i have thought long and hard as to why we associate money with this waste that we retain so forcefully. is it our judeo-christian indoctrination that calls money filthy and dirty and evil........not unlike that solid eliminative we refered to earlier, or is it something else that has slipped under the radar? and how do we associate the two.
getting one`s shit together. interesting.
i just had to get that out.

physical tension and anxiety.

as i listen to alan watts talk i am struck by how he doesn`t mess around with the dogma, he goes directly to the experiences themselves. he talks, in one of the lectures linked above, about how before we can think about the meaning of words and concepts as children, our parents and teachers give us instructions that we take as absolute. things like "pull yourself together" or "get a grip" or somesuch that makes us go inside and command our bodies to strain in a desperate attempt to comply. as adults we don`t take these things quite so literally and so we think about strategies to improve or whatever........but the command is still in there......get anxious and tighten up.
so we put energy into tighening our limbs and organs thinking we are solving problems, but what happens is that we can`t relax mentally or physically and we get tighter and tired and eventually ill from the strain.
and the doctors don`t know what`s going on because they`re busy doing the same thing. straining away. so they prescribe pills and surgery to medicate and cut you in the hopes that the symptoms will go away and you go home and get more gripping done and get more tired.......and so on.

Friday, July 28, 2006


the i-ching has been a great solice to me recently. through a particularly dificult time the oracle has provided a constantly calming and reassuring voice that allows me faith that i`m on the right path and that setbacks are temporary.
the last reading i did tonight was called waiting. so i will wait. while all around is chaos i will find a calm center and ride the storm out and when the clouds clear and the sun once again shines it`s warm nurturing rays upon my skin i will smile..............................


have you people read the bible? you religious people who go to church on sunday dressed in your best and singing the loudest and shaking the minster`s hand the hardest and walking the tallest back to your car across the church parking lot, i`m asking you hear the words of jesus when he said that he came to say the time had come to be free of the rules of men?
it`s over people. go home. there`s no more to see. the crucifiction is over. stop retrying and crucifying him over and over. he wasn`t a christian. he didn`t carry and quote the bible because it hadn`t been written yet.
the kingdom of the lord is with you and me and everyone else here alive on earth now and everyone else who ever did live. yet we buy into the game rules of a religion run by people who claim to be the ones who can speak to god and you and i can`t...............
well, fuck off. i hear and see and feel just the same as the priest or the minister or the bishop but i`m not going to bullshit people into submission so i can get money to build more churches to sell more bullshit belief.
jesus got in trouble for that but they don`t tack people to trees much anymore..................thankfully.

divinity study.

i have occasion to discuss divinity and it`s religious studies with religious people. they immediately want to have thier religious views validated. i disappoint them as quickly as i can, not because i`m cruel, but because i want to get to the point without dogma and ground rules and biblical discussions filling up the air.
the point is that we are the ones having an experience here. to discuss the written experiences of others is like hearing the opinions of others about last nights concert in the park. i want to go to the park and hear the music for myself.
people are to ready to give up thier own potential to experience the divine, the miraculous and the holy in thier lives and would much rather live vicariously. i have never understood how people can while understanding the sufferng i have felt at the hands of teachers, my catholic father and sundry religious ministers and priests i`ve come into contact with over the years.
when people get the idea that you might be claiming divinity in yourself they become all manner of indignant and, i think, afraid..............but every now and then someone will look sideways at me and smile and i know that they`re saying "good for you". and that`s food enough for my soul to know that i`m on the right path.
and i`m heartened to know that some are ready to throw off sin consciousness like a rancid old coat that is no longer useful.

what i`d love to see.

i would love to see science provide simple proof of species evolution, the type of process whereby one species becomes another over time.
science brings the odd dinosaur bone or pot shard or monkey skeleton that they say could be a proto-human and a few old guys in wool jackets with leather sleeves talk at length about things very few people understand and then one gets an award.
and nothing changes.
we don`t know any more about how humans got here than we did in newton`s time........or davinci`s.
though we`ve given these people some serious money in the meantime.
since i was a boy i`ve seen those charts of little mouse-like creatures becoming a horse, or humans emerging from the shores of a primordeal lake and i never bought it then and i certainly don`t buy it now some forty years later.
it just doesn`t make sense that a chimpanzee would leave the cover of the forest canopy with it`s family and friends and abundant food, shed it`s hair, change it`s dna, start walking upright and change it`s diet and hunting habits to eat meat and compete with big carnivorous predators in the grass one generation.
it would have to happen in one generation because otherwise they would all die from malnourishment or being eaten by thier competition; lions, tigers, etc.
bit of a puzzle, hmm?

the alexander technique.

frederick matthias alexander pioneered a technique over a hundred years ago that improves overall wellness by focusing on physical posture.
known as the alexander technique, it can be summed up by the phrase, "hold your head up".
the more you hold your head up , the more you resonate with everything that holding your head up means.
the simple act of making that shape with your body sends signals to the brain that something is changing externally to allow the head to rise and so we get the feelings of confidence, motivation and physical preparedness as a result. a feed-back, feed-forward mechanism.
i use posture in client sessions to help people know the difference between standing one was and another and helping clients to be more aware of the body shapes they make as a signal to themselves and to others.
do you notice how the way someone carries themselves gives you impressions of how they are inside?

tunnel realities.

robert anton wilson, that most iconoclastic of the iconoclasts, says that we live in a constant flow of tunnel-realities that shape our existance. these tunnel-realities are fluid and dynamic. they are beliefs, they are emotions and they are dogmas that we give power to so that we can exerience the world.
they are filters.
when something is filtered things are removed based on the nature of the filtering device. an old sock will drastically change the bouquet of a glass of drinking water much the same way as believing in witches changed the state of mind of some in salem massechusetts some years ago.
as we realise that we choose to apply filters to our lives we can begin to change the filters...........if we want to see different vistas.


here is a survey on out of body experience that william buhlman is doing. in doing it i realised just how many experiences i have had since i was a child that could be described as lucid, out of body perspectives. this inventory shows us how the judeo-christian belief tunnel reality holds us and limits us from our own divinity.

belief vs. experience.

this is where it all began for me as a child. my mother was into yoga and astral travel and learning surrounding the idea that we are experiencing our lives directly until we fall down the rabbit-hole of belief. the beliefs that capture us are religious, philosophical, political, social, etc. the stable sameness mechanisms that hold us in irrational belief that things are a certain way.
jesus and mohammed and joseph smith and buddha and myself aren`t believers........we are experiencers. the experiences take a myriad of shapes and sizes. these experiences take on the shape of what we believe will happen. if you think that the world is surrounded by unseen evil then as you experience the more sensitive areas of your perceptive abilities you will find this unseen evil in the shape of demons, entities, aliens, goblins, ghosts and other denisens of the trditional judeo-christian hell and attendant sub-stations.
the minister and the priest are masters of telling adults tales to scare the shit out of keep them believing in only some things.
if you know with certainty that things are different, then you aren`t likely to be scared by a grown-up tale of the boogy-man.
we are conditioned from the time we were children to believe god is such-and-such and jesus was this or that and that heaven and hell are specific things that were agreed upon by committees of spiritually evolved people who could see beyond the veil so we have purgatory and limbo and sainthood and, well, you get the idea.........rules about things that are made up by committees.
this conditioning makes some fearful. this fear will manifest it`s self through your ability to create whatever your mind focusses on.
so stop the fear and create your own positive, loving existance and experience what the prophets have been offering all along.


in the midst of chaos, and against all odds, humanity shines through. it needs a helping hand though.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

today i took my own advice.

i rattle on at length about the deepest of metaphysical states, through thick and thin. i`m sort of a spiritual rambo in that i go ahead and choose to pump up the good feelings and laugh and joke even though i`m outnumbered. but today...........well, today was different. there were no adversaries and even though nothing on the surface had changed, underneath it all something greater is finally coming to the surface. it still hasn`t become clear in my mind, i don`t see any pictures yet, but the feeling is stronger than it`s ever been. i allowed the feelings of love to rise and wash over me and everything i saw reflected that back like it had never happened before.
i`m going to do it again tommorow.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

god is no deciever?

these is an assumption that solipsism is a problem. that it is a problem is assumed in the language of the article above. the asumption that my experiences are the only experiences isn`t what i get out of solipsism.....i take it one step futher. my experiences create other entities and consciousnesses, which are all capable of having precisely the same experience that i`m fact, they even create me. and i love how some do it!!!!!!!!!!


if you say the word solipsism enough times over and over, it loses all meaning.
y`see i don`t have any problem with solipsism and it seems that it only becomes uncomfortable psychologically, that is, in a scientifically reduced (meaningful.....) way.
the control freaks want to label, predict and control situations and going further, medicate away certain states of mind that might actually be nearer a valid and "real" conscious state than the rational, normal state that we exist in in modern society.
what if we are actually butterflies asleep dreaming we are men?
just a thought.

right in the eye.

do you greet people with a smile? do you offer your hand with firm confidence and look them in the eye?
i do.
because when you do these things with warm understanding and openness and hold a person`s gaze for a moment or two they begin to see you as a real person standing before them and this wakes up thier humanity in like measure.
try this the next time you buy coffee or get on the bus or are introduced to someone new. look right into thier eyes as you speak and smile and they will too. take the opportunity to do this for brief moments with everyone you meet. you will find people will respond to you, know you and remember you like you love yourself.
because you do love yourself. you always have. and you want to recognise that love in others. now you know how to do simply looking into thier eyes like they have always wanted you too.
it is the loving opposite of being ignored.
being validated.

one red paperclip.

a story about a deep understanding of humanity...............and childlike playfulness.

Monday, July 24, 2006

tribal ritual.

as civilised men in a culture of personal knowledge and learning we are unfamiliar with the power of the tribe. our only brush with the power of raw humanity is at the football match, if we ever have the opportunity to go. there are really no other places we can go to feel the surge of humanity responding to the gestures of few if not one man. everywhere else outside of "civilisation" men know this power and involve themselves in practices whereby groups or even one or two people come together for the express purpose of creating an altered state of perception where we slip the bounds of what our five basic senses tell us is real.
we experience a trancendance through ritual that allows us to open new doors and look into new worlds of potential, insight and healing.
the civilised man is alone, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually and his time is winding down. soon there is going to be an end to this game of "civilsation" because it`s too expensive for the spirit to be deprived.
millions of spiritually bankrupt people are living in the cities of the world kept from the rhythm of the earth beneath thier feet by the bureaucrats who want to control people`s efforts for thier own gain.
when we get back to the ritual and listen to the voices of the spirits we will get the answers and the way out of this....................


why do we play?
to learn about patterns. our brains recognise patterns and if we see an emerging shape in behaviour we can predict the next element in the sequence.
so play helps us to predict the future behaviour of systems. a vital tool in being functional in our daily lives.
example. if you pile boxes up in certain ways they will fall over. how do we know this? we have played with boxes since we were little and so have the experience to predict with a fairly high level of certainty how they will act when stacked in different ways in a storage area or a shop floor, etc.
this example is true with a variety of systems including human dynamics. what is also true is that if you limit a child`s access and ability to play they will never develop the fine skillsnecessary to make these determiations. so as carlos santana likes to say, let the children play.

religion and politics.

i have an aversion to posting about politics and i`m not a big fan of religion either but this article is typical of a movement to eradicate certain values in our society that have been held together by the church. the athiest in the article has a point regarding the bias toward christianity in the memorials imagery, but i have to ask, which athiest group would come forward to remember the war dead? we live in a clture that holds the word of god as the basis for our laws and community standards (which are eroding.....)and so if we wish to see the traditional values that our society is glued together with last a generation or two longer then we need to be a little more tolerant of traditional symbology.


sorry about all the exclamation marks. i just get so happy when my happiness gets validated. i discovered an article in the latest discovery (ironic.) magazine about clinical studies regarding happiness. there is even a questionairre on the site to evaluate your level of happiness. you have to register which is a bit of a pain and i haven`t yet.......but i will, and take the test to see how much of a grinning idiot i am.
let me know how you guys make out if you take the test.
it is refreshing to see such work in such a traditionally humourless environment. one of the sure fire ways to kill your sense of humour is to work with statistics all day.

empathy vs. unconditional love for the self.

on the one hand we have feelings for the plight of others, and on the other we have feelings for the self.
which should come first?
my global view is that if everyone had a state of unconditional love for themselves then we wouldn`t need to ever have to discuss empathy. it would be moot.
but we are humans and we live in an imperfect yet perfect and beautiful existance full of where does that leave us?
unconditional love for the self means watching for the presuppositions that the media delivers to us as fact.
the plight of others is tragic but if it is outside of our ability to be on site and help then we have to subscribe to agencies to do our empathising for us, don`t we?
has that ever worked?

empathy part two.

in the above link there is a discussion about empathy, as i commented in my last post. there is a thread through the article and comments about mood drugs and how they remove empathy at the same time they remove anxiety.
i think that goes toward my point that having empathy for people we can never help causes distress and that when the attitude changes regarding the feeling of empathy then the anxiety dissipates.
personally, i think if we turn off the t.v. and stop reading the newspapers and other media news we will get the same effect.
i tell my clients that ever time.
i don`t think the medications help regarding our natural empathy for those in our local communities though. that could be a disaster waiting to happen.


over at tim boucher`s site there is a discussion bout empathy going on right now that deserves a read. in it he and others are caught in a dialog with a pre-supposition that we are calling empathy, the feelings we have for the plight of others. there is an assumption that this emotion is a valid one to feel. empathy drives humanitarianism, environmentalism, human rights, recycling programs etc. that have the greater part of humanity doing things, ostensibly for the good of others.
we have assumed a number of thins in this will to empathy that make engage in the variety of activities that we do to make us try to stop horrid feelings we have via this empathy.
we watch t.v., read newspapers and other media about the shit things that people do to each other and we are then asked to help stop those shit things from happening again.
round and round we go.
do the feelings ever go away?
no. there is always another cause to join.
i think we are being manipulated by our good nature into spending time, effort and money just to make ourselves feel better without acctually changing a damned thing.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

struck by lightning.

daniel pinchbeck, in his discussion of shamanism, feels that to be struck by lighning has the potential to create the state of being a shaman, if one survives..........i have never physically been struck by lightning but on several occasions felt or otherwise experienced a coming in of energy from outside myself and on one specific occasion a bolt of energy hit me, pinning me down in my bed.
do these things make one a shaman?
not necessarily........but in my case the bolt of energy i believe was the begining of something that i`m now in the middle of that allows me to go to the edge of our reality and come back with answers to things that i have no rational idea how to describe.
i have learned not to rationalise the process and i believe that the answers lie outside of language in a state of something that we pull down into our reality. sort of a collapsing of potential from the unknown to the known..........our 3 dimentional world with time creating movement. or something like.

open your heart.

how do you open your heart?
by saying the word love as much as you can.
right now.
and again.
your chest starts to rise and feelings travel around your body in slightly different ways. you may feel constrictions, or movements at points in your spine or your throat or your forehead or across your arms andlegs or the very top of your head. allow these new sensations to rise and fall naturally as you speak, think or write or type the word love over and over.
when i first did this some years ago i felt a tightening of my throat initially and as i persisted tears came to my eyes and a million thoughts of regrets over times when i hadn`t said the word before, bcause of the constriction in my throat and the fear of the tears in my eyes out of some irrational embarrassment that i felt.
i am through that now thankfully and i realise looking back how that blocked my ability to open up in the world and be who i wanted to be.
is the word love a magical word?
yes........because we give it that meaning. it`s the one we use to describe feelings that we get out of love. and it`s the one we use to create the magic.
go ahead, be a magician.

finding out the answers too soon.

nietzche said (sorry if i spelled your name wrong buddy........) that we obsess on the trivial and mundane and that it was a good thing because it allowed us not to go searching for the truth too soon......before we were ready to handle it.
well, it was always too late for me because i always thought it desperately boring and hopeless that everyone was tearing around chasing after more stuff and was always too tired and too pissed off to be wth eachother in a meaningful way. when we realise that praying to material things and worshipping money is futile when we expect these things to make us happy we begin to look for real happiness......not just a bigger house.

my values.

my top ten values.

1) creating good feelings. it`s what everything else rests on.
2) community. we can`t do it alone.
3) saying what i feel. not being able to express myself is death.
4) my children. they are still reliant on me for spirit.
5) wanting to add something of meaning in the world.
6) health, fitness, physical strength and capability.
5) creativity in music, art and writing.
6) finding some answers to how to live life meaningfully.
7) being able to be free of dogma.
8) wanting to feel like i have something important to say......maybe vital.
9) my personal confidence. i guess it`s not higher on the list because i`m confident of it`s permanence.
10) being able to say the word love.

interestingly, as i read the list, i can see the values shifting position and it doesn`t mean that #10 couldn`t be #1 sometimes, but i need to be around people who feel this stuff at the core.
i did this with a person i cared about once and she laughed and said i made those values up or read them in a book.
her values were something like mortgage paid off, trips to mexico and house parties and winning the lottery and working less.(sigh.)
i didn`t make any of that stuff up, it`s all from deep within my heart, and it leads me to the next step on this path of discovery.

dr. alistair`s continued pontification.....

in my never ending desire to see my words in print no matter what the consequences, i give you my views on how to best choose those who you wish to partner with.
it`s pretty simple really. you need to find out what a person`s core beliefs and values are and see them brought to functionality in thier lives. that means taking time to know someone for more that a night or two or for thier financial or social position.
at the very core of our being are mechanisms that are filters by which we percieve the world. these things are commonly called values. our values are derived from our experiences and the values of those we hold as important in our lives. parents, friends, teachers, media personalities, historical figures, etc.
values aren`t necessarily absolute, though those involing gravity, taxes and death should be seen as such for most situations onw will encounter. values are flexible and interchangeable but it`s much better to see those around you as sharing values than trying to alter another`s values for your own benifit.
so you are comfortable with a person and have spent a fair bit of time with them and then, come hockey season, you find that they cannot stand your hockey team............
i`m referring to values about important things like how you want to live your life, issues about children, how to invest your money, retirement plans.
i get as serious as to ask a person thier ten highest values in thier life and see if mine are similar.
if you share the top one or two you will likely make it.
if you share the top three or four you had better stay together.
if you share more you have died and gone to heaven.
what if you don`t share many values but are still happy and functional together?
tip toe very carefully around issues of disagreement and be flexible.

Friday, July 21, 2006

kindred spirit.

the passing of local adventurer herb pohl has reminded me of what it means to be on this rock we call earth. experiencing things. wherever your consciouness has gone herb.......go in peace.

morbid curiousity vs. spiritual developement.

i have noticed that there is a tendancy amongst some in the spiritual community to step out of character somewhat over certain issues in the media and while i`m not going to get into specifics, suffice it to say that i think you can imagine which issues i`m refering to.
the question i have to ask is why, when we are trying to find a spiritual center, do some obsess on issues of politics and business?
it seems to me to be at odds with what a relationship with spirit is all about. my view is that enlightenment is about transcendance, not decending into endless loops of arguement and pain. that`s the realm of anger and resentment........a guaranteed trap for the soul. yet i see many in the spiritual community constantly pushing political hot buttons, and i don`t mean to single buddhists out, but they seem to be some of the most prone to getting into this trap. maybe because of the dalia lama`s politicising the faith?


it is articles like the one above that irritate me because there is an implicit suggestion contained within that we cannot control our urges without the next pill that our super-smart scientists have finally made for us. why is it that all of the other drugs that our super-smart scientists have given us (that we paid for twice and three times over.........research grants, tax money, insurance fees, direct billing...........that`s four.) have all turned to be horribly bad for us. if you don`t believe me read a data sheet on one of your favorite prescriptions sometime. some of the side effects are worse than the simptoms the drugs are supposed to alleviate.
what the hell did people do before scientists ran the world?

the mind of the body........

we store memories in our bodies. it is as if the cells and nerves and muscles make up a greater brain mass that the organ inside our skulls. there is a scientific bias that says that thinking and memory is stored in the grey matter of the brain but science it`s self has discovered the ability for heart and stomach structures to store memory also. why not the rest of the body.
in my work i show people how the shapes the body makes can release emotions into the consciousness. when we stand erect and proud we elicit the feelings that accompany such a pose. the hunching of the back and hanging of the head will allow a person to feel depressive feelings associated with that way of walking.
the mind and body work to feed feelings back to eachother and it is is useful to begin to practice what i call positive posture in sitting walking and in all of your daily activities.
notice the posture set of people around you. practice emulating the posture, facial expressions and movement style different people use and notice how different approaches make you feel.
do you notice differences?
the alexander method is a way of posture training that is designed to elict optimum learning, feelings and athleticism in in those who take it`s training. it was developed many years before nlp came along and yey agrees with the principles of the mind and body working in sympathy.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

heart vs. mind.

when we speak from our mind we are factual, consise, precise, accurate, referential and so on. our minds are filled with knowledge and by definition knowledge is that which is known. that which is common and most of which is of little use. research will find facts and the how tos and the laws and regulations but little of real interest to those after what lies beneath the surface. research is exactly that re-searching that which has already been found, filtered and approved.
when we speak from the heart we begin to tell the truth. the thing that nietzche warned about not finding too soon............until we are ready.
the heart knows all that is going on. it knows that most of everything is bullshit in ever increasing piles. the heart knows that we need to let this all go and move toward real answers.
so get over being factually right and researching data and measuring things more and more`ll just get tired.
let your heart be your guide to your voice.........and speak up about what you feel.
you`ll be suprised what comes out of your mouth.

an observation about abundance.

if you live near a highway or a city or a large factory then you cannot miss the simple fact that there is so much stuff piled up on the planet that we have built out of our imagination.
if you live out in the fields then you can plainly see that they stretch out and away for as far as the eye can see.
these are evidence of abundance that continues as we realise how many ants there are or flowers or trees or bricks in a building or screws in a deck or waves in the ocean. each of these things is created and witnessed by your nervous system.
isn`t it about time you cot focus in what you visualise?
someone saw the idea for a building and then drew plans that included each screw, brick and pot of paint needed to build the building.
and your car and your toaster and the airplane flying over your head.
and there are those who say there is no hope in thier lives and no job to do and no future for us all.
what planet are they looking at?

what my inner voice says.

my inner voice says that we can have happiness when we need to, which is right now.
my inner voice says we are divine and owe ourselves the recognition of that magnificent fact.
my inner voice says focus on the wonder and abundance of all of this.
my inner voice says smile and look people right in the eye as you speak to them.
my inner voice says love yourself first and powerfully then everything else will fall into place accordingly.
my inner voice is laughing now................................

your inner voice.

everyone`s trip is different. everyone`s perceptions are different. the words i`m typing here now mean different things to each of you reading them. what you need to do is read, listen and practice all you can to grow and be involved in your life and then now and then get very quiet and still for long enough to be able to hear the quiet inner voice that speaks occasionally, because my trip isn`t your trip. your trip is your trip.
you may have done many of the things i`ve suggested and nothing happened for you because of precisely what i`m refering to here. you are on your own journey of exploration and enlightenment and i can only make suggestions and say what has worked for me.
your inner voice will speak clearly to you if you listen hard and long and quietly enough. i promise you that.


i get these crazy ideas occasionally, about the wonderful feelings i get when thinking about being alive and involved in the miraculous things that go on around us all the time. i get physically and spiritually high thinking about things, so much so that i make it my work to tell others about my experiences and how they can too. it is this form of thinking that i am seeing in the conversations of people like ram dass and terence mckenna and the dalai lama and alan watt and the like. these people have a scolarship that i could never attain and yet we are talking about the same experiences......
it makes me feel as if i have my feet on the same path and so i will continue to feel less self conscious about talking about simple joy and i will dare to take some bolder steps in the coming few months to catch some new ears.

Monday, July 17, 2006

from the heart.

when i speak to people, whether individually or in groups, there is a period of time where there is discomfort. this discomfort is driven by expectation on the part of myself or others that there needs to be an outcome or a process where there is going to be tests or evaluations or other discomforts or whatever other paranoias a person can construct. then something wonderful happens. everything starts to flow and people open up and thier discomforts disappear and things start to work and people smile.
then changes can occur.
when i speak of my true feelings about things that are important is when the paranoia disappears.
i have learned to talk to myself that way too.
and i smile.
and the answers seem to just become so much clearer.


if you`ve ever wondered why some people are so cranky the link above will take you to a talk by terence mckenna about how our time is eccelerating in ever increasing waves of compression. we are repeating epochs of time in shorter and shorter periods.
it is the nature of retentives to try to keep things in controlable states, and as things speed up anyone attached to things staying the same will become increasingly stressed as we inventory things more and more quickly.
letting go is the only recourse for our sanity as computers get faster and lives get more hectic and values change and governments and religions winch up the tension on social control.............
we look to the media for meaning in all this and they keep feeding the same old line that science and government has everything under control when it`s obvious that things are absolutely out of control.
so stop thinking control is the answer.
it`ll be easier on you as things progress.


where in nature do objects move in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force?
not in nature certainly.
not in the observable universe.
there is nowhere in the universe, and therefore in nature, for an object to move free of outside forces to prove the hypothesis that an object moves in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.
yet we`ve used that as the basis in science for everything else as fact and made some bold absolute statements as a the thing about the speed of light.
so we have to have faith that science is right about things and head towards increasing global issues and wars and diminishing food supplies and so on and not continue to question things.
sounds a bit like religion to me.
like the pope says, just wear a condom.

i had forgotten about this guy...........

i love questions that can`t be answered and peter bros sure does raise some interesting points about things that the average person can rationally formulate in thier minds. when you scratch the surface of what science gives as fact then you realise that it acts more like a faith based religion than a mechanism of proof.

just plain funny.

it`s amazing how if you amplify something innocuous that it has the potential to be irritating. mind you, barry manilow is irritating at any volume........what were these people thinking?

Sunday, July 16, 2006

terence mckenna.

some clips from the man himself. if you want some great questions to ask just listen to what terence is on about.

a new life.

there are times when we wish things could be different and then we go back to the same life.
we forget that we are creating the one we are in now so it`s up to us to make the changes necessary to make a new one.
quantum mechanics says that every decision we make creates new universes. the one where we did what we decided to do and the one in which we did the opposite. this get complex very quickly. thankfully we only see the one world that we choose.
what universe would you like to create now?
the one i`m busy creating has a brief workout with weights in the next hour and then supper with the boys and then a bike ride and conversation at starbucks until closing.

looking for love?

here`s a message for those of you looking for love in that perfect someone........
they don`t exist.
if you cannot find a perfect love inside for yourself then you won`t attract that in another person. we set up frequencies inside ourselves. we hum and crackle and buzz with energy of spirit and of thought and all the jumble of everything that is going on in our lives from moment to moment and we find that over time we attract those people that have similar issues occuring in thier lives. this is no mystery to anyone with a passing interest in physics. in physical terms it is called sympathetic resonance. things that vibrate at the same frequency are sympathetic and can flow together. musical instruments are a classic example of this. two instruments vibrating at the same frequency will just fit together sound wise, whereas two instruments of different frequency will clash and create noise. there are special cases where different frequencies create harmony but that is a done deliberately and creates a third pleasant sound which is known as a harmonic.
so where does this leave us?
become the resonant instrument...............send out vibrations of love. meditate, pray, dream, focus, visualise, write, paint, create music, sculture, plant flowers, ride your bike, make a meal..........all in deep love with yourself.
you know how.
you may feel hesitant.
you may hear a voice in your head saying "how foolish is that to love yourself...."
but that`s a criticism and we are past doing that to ourselves now.
this is time for serious love.
powerful love.
resonant love.
those negative voices are doomed to silence now because you tell them to shut up.............and they do.
funny how that works.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

a dillema.

i met a girl some months ago and my heart healed instantly from the pain of a failing relationship. i took our meeting as a gift from the universe and i never expected to see her again after that night. i didn`t know her name or anything and after a two hour conversation about everything and nothing all at the same time i rode off into the night, unattached and blissfully happy.
i have seen her a few times since and each time we have had this spark that has my heart lifted high, yet each time i leave without her number.
this last time she asked me to come with her and her friends for a drink and i politely and honestly turned her down, much to her disappointment.
i know that all that i am involved in with the end of a 14 year relationship and the legal battle that is preparing to ensue is not what a girl half my age needs in her life and so my heart is heavy with that. i need to tell her my feelings and give her the chance to understand.
she looks at me with such intensity and i know what she`s saying.
life is a bitch sometimes.........yet even so, so unutterably beautiful.

where has god gone?

we have been searching for god for so long now it should be apparent that something is going on. either he`s hiding or he`s not where we have been looking or he`s lost and upset that we are incapable of finding him. or, our concept of god is just plain wrong and we`ve been wasting our time looking behind couches and in parked cars and up tree in the park for no reason whatsoever.


i am going to state here that i believe the highest form of human emotional maturity is the ability to be accepting of one`s universe. that is to accept one`s self, others and everything else including those who disagree and the disagreements we all have. accept all of everything for just one minute.......if you can. this means not interfering in the affairs of others or coughing because you smell the hint of cigarette smoke or trying to let your ego run the show period any more. just let it all go like so much garbage. drag it all to the curb and leave it there.
did you notice what was left>
peace and quiet.


i have found someone who shares some of the bizzare experiences that i`ve been through in this journey we call life. his name is daniel pinchbeck. i am begining to read his new book, quetzalcoatl. many of his quesions and realisations mirror my own and, well, it`s refreshing to see a mainstream journalistic environment accepting the shaman`s message at least tentatively.
his website is linked above.
as i proceed with the book i will comment on some of what i feel is pertinent to my experiences.

Friday, July 14, 2006

a map of reality.

this is a very clear journey through ten dimensions of space/time. very cool.

a map of reality.

this is a very clear journey through ten dimensions of space/time. very cool.


i watch the ants on the sidewalk scurrying around with some inscrutable mission that they are determined to accomplish and i wonder where they get thier direction from and how they know how to do what they do.
i get the same impression when i rise up above the city in my friend`s light plane and look down on the tiny vehicules rushing about.
what is it that we are all doing in our ever increasing panic to be more productive? there are those who think that we are building something greater.........a vast computer/brain possibly.........with the means to control industry and the military?
who will control this giant brain when we`ve finished building it?

Thursday, July 13, 2006


say hello to my sister abbie`s horse arawin. she`s so proud of him and so wanted to show me how he`s coming along. this picture is of him being trained on a long rope. he`s about to be saddled for the first time. he passed the test with flying colours and is ready for the next step, accepting a rider.
abbie and arawin live in the countryside of rural wiltshire in england, not far from stonehenge.

more about love.

it is our nature to be in love. i am realising that the modern person is somehow blocked from his natural place as part of everything in so many ways. love is a part of what we are deprived of all the time.
forgiveness is a big part of this barrier. the traditional judeo-christian view of things is that we are responsible for everyone else and everyone else`s state of mind. we cannot offend, insult, slander, libel, confuse, challenge, disagree with or otherwise be at odds with anyone else for fear of some dreadful outcome the likes of which is never made clear.
it is o.k. to be that way with yourself though...........according to the j-c bunch.
so we are taught to love, forgive, help, understand and support others and give to charities until we are "good".
but what about the self?
why not forgive, understand, love, support and give charity to the self, with the understanding that everyone else is doing the same?
well, because then there would be no need for a church, most of government and all of the military.
but that doesn`t mean that some of us can`t just forgive, love, support and generally treat ourselves in a caring fashion anyway...............if we want to.


microevolution. not monkeys turning into people.......ever, for any reason. and i wish that people would stop confusing the proof of microevolution for monkeys turning into people. our children don`t need to be any more confused than they already are.

seeing is believing.

we want to see things so that we will have confidence in thier existance. seems like a normal thing to want to have happen and everyone will agree that it makes sense to see the "merchandise" as it were, before buying.
but what if our senses are distorting, editing and adding information without us realising what`s going on?
there are many witnesses to accedents on the road yet witnesses are notoriously unreliable due to the fact that people`s bias will add, delete and distort events to fit thier pre-suppositions about what "should" have happened.
a young kid in a sports car hitting a bus will be seen as behaving differently from a businessman in a mercedes by the witnesses.
why does this happen?
because we have memories of prior events stored in our minds that we play to compare with what we just saw so that we can compare events and draw a conclusion. this mechanism is useful if you have had an experience in the past with a lion for instance and you run into one at a gas station or a cocktail party you know that, shit, big teeth and four sets of razor sharp claws means run like matter what he`s saying.
so pre-suppositions are useful in some instances but can lead to erronious conclusions when dealing with things that don`t include a lion.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


an interesting conversation emerged yesterday as i say with friends at starbucks. one chap, who`s name escapes me for the moment, suggested that we all start a church based on filters and he went around and asked us all to choose our filtering methods and thesis. it didn`t strike me right away what he was saying, but then i realised that filtering is exactly what religion and government and science do. they allow so much and restrict so much else in a consistant way that creates a type of collective thinking which only flows along set pathways.
what would happen to society if we changed the filters?

the quiet mind.
i think that the quiet mind must be the first goal of the spiritual quest. without the quiet mind everything is chaos. the quiet mind is like the rudder of a yacht. lose the rudder and you drift aimlessly, prey to whatever mood of the weather comes along. when you control the rudder of your mind you can choose to be in the state necessary to accomplish whatever you need to in your life.

once again...............

once again i fell in love with my life. it happens quite frequently actually. i am just minding my own business just going through the motions and then the sheer joy and wonder of it all comes bursting through.
don`t you ever feel that way, even for a second?
i was walking over the bridge at the dufferin gate in toronto the other afternoon right after a thunder storm and i looked across the city into the sky where the clouds were still roiling in the air, heavy with rain and the sheer magnificence of all of what i was looking at just moved me to wonder. it was as if a living thing was looming above the city ready to descend at any moment. i was captivated in the sheer scope and power of what was passing above my head.
i could feel the energy in the sky surging through my soul.
i am part of all of that.

intelligent design.

o.k. so how did we get here?
we`ve always been here. there was no arriving.
different question then; what is consciousness?
don`t know but the colours are magnificent...............and the sounds, well how does one begin to describe the sounds. then there are the tastes. then the touch against the skin. then the fragrances.
what else do we need to know but what our senses deliver to us?
i have a front row seat for the greatest show on earth. would you like a ticket?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

a world of words.

we live in a world created by words. these words are agreed upon by us to mean certain things and so the words have become meaningful because we agree as to what they mean. a sentence such as "the speed of light is a constant" is accepted and becomes part of the next series of ideas we begin to formulate.
heres another idea made of words. "all blondes are stupid". we react to this series of words in predictable ways.
but what if we are wrong about the meanings we give these words?
what if light doesn`t move in such a predictable way and what if all blondes aren`t stupid?
what happens then?
we are forced to start thinking again, aren`t we?
maybe it`s not so hard to make an honest buck after all and maybe dreams do come true and maybe, just maybe we can be happy for no reason............because why wait for a reason to be happy when it feels so good just to smile in the mirror and feel silly, for a minute, and then really feel good. permenantly. whenever you most need to.

is the mind in the head?
fascinating line of reasoning and responses.
one of my favorite philosophical debates.

21 day test.

o.k. so you aren`t sure whether your thoughts create reality. let`s try this then.
for 21 days you are going to do an experiment to see what will occur in your life. you don`t have believe, expect or wish anything. just do some simple things constantly for 21 days to prove, one way or another, whether visualisation effects reality.
step 1) get a note book and write down some goals, desires, destinations, etc.
step 2) pick a time each day where you can be quiet and alone for ten minutes or so to concentrate and visualise the things you want to happen in your life in the next 21 days.
step 3) as the exercise unfolds write down impressions, coincedances and results you get.
there you are. good luck and keep me posted.


do you notice things happening outside of chance? i do. in fact i see things happening purposefully all the time. as i focus on the things i want and see them clearly and in detail, sharp in my mind, the more events start happening in the world outside my head that seem to be in response to my visualisation.
this is the power of faith.
be careful what you believe will happen, because the more you see, hear, and feel ideas in your mind the more likely they will happen when you open your eyes.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

if you aren`t getting it by now.

the divine spirit.

so much of what we know as spiritual developement involves practices such as meditation or prayer. this is the traditional view of what it means to be a spiritual person.........but i take an entirely different view. why sit in dark room quietly talking to yourself about your problems and asking for help when you can go and directly experience the glory of divinity that is surrounding you at all times?
the religious view is that god is omnipotent. i don`t disagree. i see god as an abundance of experience. this experience is omnipotent. just try to switch it off.
get involved in your life and crank up the divinity by whatever means necessary.
do it now.

the movie in your head.

what movies are playing in your head?

what we choose to watch.

what we choose to watch shapes our reality. when i watch ted nugent play i am transported away into a sense of thrills and excitement that is precisely the same as the feeling i used to get when i listened to him as i prepared for soccer games when i was young.
it works the same way now.
i watched the ted nugent video that i had stored up in my memory (the same place we put annoying t.v. commercials.) this morning as i drank coffee and prepared for my game............i got three goals in the first half and we won 4-2.
what we look at, in our minds, in life and in the media, sets our state and in a major way dictates how our day will turn out.
it should be becoming obvious to you how important it is to be aware of what we consume in the media.

terrible ted............

it`s pretty simple really. you either feel one way or another. i watch this video and every time i feel, well, awesome.............
i watch it a lot.
what we feel is dependant on what we are thinking about. controlling our feelings is a matter of controlling what we choose to feel, consistantly, over time. ted nugent might not be your taste, but something is. go to youtube and type in your favorite performer`s name and there is bound to be something there for you to watch and listen will feel better as a result.
if we all did a bit more of that each day there would be no need for guns.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

chicken hypnosis.

chickens are easy to hypnotise, as this video demonstrates, but the state wears off after a moment or two. in humans the induction is as quick for the trained hypnotist but the state stays for as long as the hypnotist wants the subject to remain in trance.
i`m not sure what this says about the difference between chickens and humans..............

erronious arguement.

in the article linked above, an elderly woman is ticketed for jaywalking. apparently she entered a crosswalk after the don`t walk sign was lit. her arguement was that the walk sign was still lit when she began to walk. o.k. let the judge work it out. the officer wrote the ticket and the judge withdrew the ticket after a public outcry and growing media attention. the officer stated that the woman took too long to cross the road so he ticketed her for her own safety.
by laws and tickets aside, to state that you gave someone a ticket for thier own safety is plainly a false arguement.
there needs to be a ticket for that type of thinking among our police.


the more i write the more i realise that guilt is the binding force that limits our ability to be intellectually and spiritually and physically free. when we feel guilty we then do things that we wouldn`t normally be happy to do. all of the co-dependant and controlling games that go on are driven by guilt.
where does this guilt come from?
the church and the state.
the blogs and sites i visit are all talking about the practices that need to be adhered to so that one can attain states of enlightenment and spirituality and yet people return to the same behaviours in relationships and in making decisions that make them feel badly.
why is that happening?
because we are still negotiating with a repressive culture driven by the media that pumps guilt and pleasure at us 24 hours a day.
we don`t realise that it`s occuring all around us all the time while we watch t.v. or read the newspaper but we are being brought back into the fold by the trance of bright shiny images.
look away more.
turn off the t.v.
stop reading the bloody newspaper.

if something really important is happening your niegbour will knock on your door and tell you.

acceptance is love.

acceptance is love. when you accept youraelf unconditionally then you are loving yourself the same way too.
this unconditional state is the crux of becoming free spiritually. if all you have to rely on for love and acceptance is ypurself and you do that freely and without condition, imagine what you could accomplish..............
when are you going to start?

Friday, July 07, 2006


this is a demonstration of the grace and power of aikido, a martial art, that i have studied and applied to my soccer game enabling me to enjoy it at another level.

point of view.

the fireworks in toronto last night at a conservative estemate cost $1oo, ooo or so. to me it represents acelebration of life, art and the release of so much that is held down inside us that just cries out to be free. there are others that see the spending of money like that as an obscene waste when there are people homeless on the city streets.
both are correct.
both ideas are equally valid and true.
we need people who hold these diverse types of thinking so that fireworks will still be fired into the sky and also so that the homeless will be cared for.
but not one at the expense of the other.
that is the nature of abundance.
there is enough of everything for all points of view to be satisfied.


i cannot write today. too physically tired. i find that when i`m drained that my mental focus is shot also.
so here you witness the writer in his inability to write.................still struggling to write something down, to try to sort things out and find meaning. i have tried to depersonalise myself by seeing me sitting at the computer from across the room and still the heaviness persists. i`m too tired even to make a cup of coffee. i know that all that will do is jangle my nerves and make the thinking process even more difficult.
the question is formulated; just give up?
no. typing is soothing to the intellect.
thoughts, though like syrup in consistancy, are at least coming. i am still alive and thinking.
last night i sat and watched the symphony of fire.
the symphony of fire is a fireworks display held in toronto each summer, with teams from around the world putting on enourmous displays of pyrotechnics all set to music.
even though we were 3/4 of a mile a way the show was spectacular. we figured that there must have been $100,000. or more of explosions in half an hour`s show.
another celebration of abundance in the world.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

independance day.

independance day. that`s what i`ve always liked about the americans. freedom.......the value of being unbound by restrictions and tyrany and oppression.
here`s a thought. what do you want to be free from in this next year? what binds and restricts you so that you chafe and blister and become sore?
what if you could just walk away?
would you?
you need to now more than ever on this day of celebrating independance.
god bless america and all that is free wherever in the world you may be reading this right now.

Monday, July 03, 2006

word games.

in the above article we see people using the wording of a problem to try to perpetuate it by lessening the impact of the name for the problem.
we can`t yell fire! anymore in case someone is offended. people will just have to get burned.
the political correctness movement is one of linguistics and noam chomskey knows all too well being a professor of linguistics, though he would rather you see him as an expert of foriegn policy and diplomacy. the political correctness movement is basically another way to control thinking dressed up as the "right" way to do things.
we cannot for instacne kiss a girl without express verbal consent. has that ever happened in any of your experiences?
i didn`t think so.
in nlp we call that a pattern interupt. guaranteed to ruin a special moment.
o.k. so what is going on here?
the big picture;
an attack on traditional values from all sides.
we cannot say, act and think in ways that would potentially offend even the smallest minority of people in any way.
it grinds acting, thinking and speaking down into a semantic world that only a small elite group has any discression over.
welcome to 1984.


it`s all right here.

tim has had an experience of mystical awakening. his sister performed rieki and it opened the flow of energy in him. some call it charisma, some call it kundalini, some call it a quickening. it is a blessing nomatter where or when or how it comes. it is the brush with the divine that we all have the potential to experience.
the shame is that most never come close to it.

how we get ourselves in a bad mood.

computer software works by building command chains that say; if this happens, do this. simple programs may contain one or two operations. more complex programs may contain millions.
one such program contains billions.
it`s called consciousness.
consciousness is made up of if/then programs that we refer to as pre-suppositions.
we pre-suppose that if a dog is snarling then he could bite. if we want to avoid that bite we back of.
if(snarl) / then(back off)
unfortunately some of the programming of the software we know as consciousness isn`t done very well. i`m not going to get into the whys and werefores of that here but it think we can all agree that this is true.
i had a client recently who thought she was addicted to fast food.
she worked from home and did a few hours of work and then had to rush out and go to burger king.
the hypnotist would then put the client into a suggestable trance and tell them not to go to burger king right?
well, no. i am trained to investigate these kind of situations further.
why doesn`t this bright middle-aged woman eat at home?
i asked her this question. the answer will surprise you.
she hated her mother.
she hated her mother`s messy kitchen so much that she vowed to never have a messy kitchen in her own home.
so she didn`t have one thing in her when she got hungry working at home she had to go to the quickest place she could to eat.
this woman would go inside her head and have arguements with her mother. imaginary arguements with a woman who had been dead for years......and then feel terrible about it for hours.
i asked her if she thought this was a good thing to do for herself each day.
she said no.
i asked her to get some food in her kitchen and work on minimising the imaginary arguements in her mind by telling the thoughts and images to shut the fuck many times as necessary until the thoughts dissipated.
she laughed.
the thoughts went away.
she laughed when she said shut the fuck up over and over until the thoughts went away and she could eat in her home where she worked.
i like my job a lot.

the world we create in our minds.

when we think of something that makes us uncomfortable, what has really happened?
we go inside and see pictures and we hear voices and sounds and then we get feelings that make us react.
did the things we thought about actually occur right then?
so why did we get the uncomfortable feelings?
our minds are capable of creating chemicals in our brains called neuro-transmitter peptides. these chemicals stimulate glands in our bodies to make us feel things so that we can act on our thoughts.
if i say lemon to you now, you will eventally salivate thinking about the juicy yellow fruit.
if i say snow capped mountain you go inside and build a model of a mountain covered in snow and if you work the image enough you will actually feel the cold wind on your face.
the study of this process is a big part of nlp (neuro-linguistic programming.) which builds models of how each of us does our reality in our minds by seeing images and hearing sounds inside. we also smell smells and taste tastes too. the end result is that we have feelings as a response that become our reality.
the formula is simple and direct.
good images in the mind=good reality.
when you control the imagination you control your reality.
the negative imagery we carry around that sneaks up and ruins our morning can be controlled by seeing how we get to the bad feeling.
we`ll discuss this next.

things we aren`t allowed to say or think or do.

so much of my work is in helping people dealing with anxiety. this anxiety is, in my view, installed as a way to control our behaviour from an early age. certainly, when we are young, we need to have some restrictions applied to our behaviour for obvious reasons. as we get older there is never a time, it seems, when the process is reversed.
in the last posts we have seen where our language has been controlled. some words are forbidden and entire concepts are edited out by religion and science. there is a constant struggle in the media, the church and the classroom and even in the living room of your own home, to control our reality through language and thought.
this process leaves us stressed by not having the permission to say what we need to say about so many things......................
yet life goes on from day to day and our experiences and thoughts and questions go unanswered and unvalidated.
it`s time to speak up.
when you do, the anxiety diminishes.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

more on epithets.

you will notice a commonality amongst those who wish to control the actions of others, whether it be by word, deed or otherwise. these people tend to be those who wish to attain a moral high ground.
why do they do this?
a number of reasons, the greatest of which i believe is intellectual laziness. there are generally issues of co-dependancy and control in thier family and social environments also (notice i didn`t say church........) which don`t help to allow them intellectual flexibility.
the moralists want you and i to conform to whichever set of rules they`ve arbitrarily devised or adopted. it makes me wonder what special privelige they`ve earned to appoint themselves dictator.
when we look at the soft underbelly of these technocrats we generally find a humourless fearful person with anxiety about the simplest things.
the common term for people like this is neurotic.
the shame of this behaviour is that it has taken the place of competance in most management and government hierarchies.
the bureaucrat loves nothing more than another policy meeting or amendments to the existing rules.
my rules are;
1) think for yourself.
2) say what you will, and be prepared to live and die by the words you use.
3) repeat when necessary.


a gentle introduction into semantics and those who want to control yet another aspect of our lives.
WARNING: contains profanity and narrow-mindedness.