Tuesday, January 19, 2010

why marry?

well, why?

love is what most people say. "we are in love and we want to spend the rest of our lives together" is the common answer.

so, why the high divorce rate then?

and why doesn`t love conquer all....and allow marriages to survive?

the simple reason is that many people marry for the wrong reasons.

this reason for instance; buying a house is impossible on one salary.

not a good reason to marry.

and this one; i couldn`t do without him.

and; we are perfect together.

none of these reasons alone, or in combination, are good enough to justify sharing your life with another person.

so what is?

well, loving someone is really nice....but are you willing to look after eachother`s best interests? are you concerned for thier feelings....even ahead of yours?

is this person a friend of yours?

can you stand her shit?

can you laugh at eachother`s jokes.

will you listen patiently while she says what she needs to say?

will you get out of bed even though you don`t need to to start her car on a cold morning?

are you thrilled even at the thought of her smile?

and can you sit together on the couch and watch the fire burn low?

or does your marriage make sense economically and make your parents happy, knowing they will be grandparents soon?

oh yeah, and how much is the wedding going to cost, or are you able to have a modest affair with a few close friends and family?

the one`s that work, and are still working are based on friendship, trust and devotion. if you put a dollar sign in front of any of those concepts you have commerce, prostitution and conscription....sort of feudal tyranny....where one partner rules the roost and the other jumps when told.

4 comments:

Grant said...

Given the number of bad marriages I've seen (whether they started that way or devolved over time), I think the divorce rate is distressingly low. If two people simply are in love and want to be together, there's nothing stopping that but religions and laws giving them tax breaks.

dr.alistair said...

the for-commerce aspect of marriage is the way to ensure it will end prematurely.

any professional gambler will tell you that you have to know when to fold.....

K9 said...

ive got twenty years in.

my secret:

every body gets to do what they want to do
i have my own house 100 miles away that i live in alone half the time
my husband is my best friend

dr.alistair said...

i have a secret; everybody gets to do what they want to do.

my girl is my best friend.

don`t have a house 100 miles away.

we`ve only been together two years, so maybe eventually i will need the 100 mile thingy....