Monday, October 06, 2008


i`d like to dedicate this to ms.q.


that means without conditions.

like...all the time.

that`s how i set out to write this blog some years ago when i realised the relationship with the mother of my children was falling apart.

and how i realised that i could love myself.




loving and supporting.

because i knew truths about myself that were good and bad. and accepted that i`d got this far in this state and that i could experience love and devotion....i learned this through becoming a father........and that the world that i didn`t want to bring children into for most of my adult life had this ability to be ok once i began to accept and love myself unconditionally.

so it all comes back to this; once we find a way to unconditionally love ourselves, then others are left to face thier own decisions about themselves (or not....) and our lives change.

we stop putting ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable, or worse...and we put less obligation on others, and let them do thier thing and accept that too.

meeting others expectations a challenge?

then stop.

and sit back and watch the damage that expectations can cause....and just accept and love yourself.

others can then choose to do that too.

and you will be suprised at who comes and who goes from your life.

i feel like preaching a bit this afternoon so forgive me, or not, as i type away about what i feel is the most important practice we can take up on our journey through whatever it is we are journeying through in our conscious awareness.

oh yeah, and be prepared for the consquences of such a self-indulgent act. some will get hostile when you refuse to feed thier disagreement.

one of the first challenges i met in blogging was the power of disagreement.

people would openly challenge my posts and comments with all manner of comments in return, that, if we had been face-to-face, would have been too confrontational.

it took some adjustment on my part and a new-found confidence in my position to continue on typing and the point where i discovered that i really did love, not only myself, but how i said what i said.

and so i come full circle to begining to post once again about the unconditional love for the self.

also called not taking shit.

try it for a day or two and watch eyebrows fly.


American Hill BIlly said...

Excellent, Love is the great energy in the cosmos. Through inner study, I do belive an individual can build calm, love, and peace. Resulting into a manifestation outside of ourselves. Each one of us can effect another in a positive way.

Love is great!!!

United In Peace And Freedom

K9 said...

grrrherhahahaha i am remembering some of our old conversations. i agree with you it is quite liberating to be solid within yourself so that you can absorb others reactions to that with grace. im not quite there but i get where you are coming from. and i agree oatmeal is the best. i like it cold with fruit and honey - i think that is the dutch way (not sure)

dr.alistair said...

big dogs and hillbillies........yes indeed.

to unattach to the necessity to justify and entangle in controversy is a path to enlightenment.

there are those who want to preserve such things for religious dogma and argue that on cannot "just" decide these things, but i believe that the decision is the first foot on the path to an enlightenment made of peace and quiet...inside the head and outside.

for many years i felt the need to justify challenges and i shrug my shoulders and read comments again and put myself in the other seat for a moment and then move on.

finding issues to agree on is another first foot instead of hammering out points of disagreement, after all, we are all manifestations of something greater, each with our own points of, of course we are bound to see some things differently.

otherwise what`s the point of all of this?

and oatmeal cold with fruit and honey works. i will have to try it.

American Hill BIlly said...

Hillbilly, and trusty Rot's....Now all we need is a bandjoe.

Excellent read, and your follow up is great.

United In Peace And Freedom

dr.alistair said...

for you billy boy.....

X. Dell said...

Hmmm. I can see the damage left by self-loathing. But I'm wondering how people understand self-love. Seems that most people have their most fiercest love, and fiercest hate, for themselves and they can't divorce the two.

And yes, I mean "they."

dr.alistair said...

people understand self-love in different ways.....from egotistic, to hedonistic, to peaceful and accepting.

the love/hate duality is the hegelian dialectic at work.

the process of discovery of how much of this stuff is deep within us....and only projected out onto others and a lifetime journey of discovery.

and why do you stress "they" and not include you and i. are we not human also?

maybe the reason why i train so hard and watch my diet is that i hate the part of myself that sits around and gets fat.....

....the fat guy at the computer across from me at the library hand writing moon phases onto pieces of paper seems happy enough....and he`s here every day, minding his own business, filling up pages and pages of notes about where the moon was years ago.

in fact, most of the people at the terminals here could do with some exercise and better eating habits.....

then i laugh at how ridiculous my judgements are and realise that these people are only doing the best they can with what they`ve i go back to typing in acceptance of all of this stuff going on around me.