recently i haven`tt had much to say.
tiger woods sort of took the wind out of my sails, and as i watch this train wreck happening in slo-mo i wonder just how much shitty our media can become as they deliver this to our eyeballs in various ways.
the only way i ever see that man`s face is because yahoo pushes it in my face as i check for e-mails...otherwise he falls into the infinite abyss along with all the other "news" i can`t be bothered to comment on.
oh yeah, and gossip at christmas parties.
which brings me back to christmas.
people are already stressed enough and too fat, stupid and ignorant to get out of thier own way regarding most issues, and so when christmas looms they go into that traditional not-ok state of panic and spend and eat and drink as if it`s somehow making them feel better.
and for that brief moment when you are full and buzzed and have wrapped all the boxes ready for your "loved" ones to descend upon them...i guess you are sort of happy. at least satisfied that you`ve run your errands and satisfied your commitment to whomsoever will sit in that room with you on the 25th.
but what about the 24th?
or the 27th?
or january 3rd?
what shit state of affairs leads us to neglect the other days of the year so profoundly to pile heaps of consumer items under a decapitated conifer while ungrateful whelps grap, rip and tear at the paper and ribbon that you so carefully applied a few hours before?
and then...not minutes later, while the cat dives in an out of the refuse....the feelings begin to dissipate and a slight chill descends....driven by a mild hangover and thoughts of visa card bills and another emotive spasm looming a week later.
for fuck`s sake.
are we that lame and disenchanted that we will sit drunk once again and countdown the last few remaining minutes of this sad pathetic year that has been 2009...with other drunk sad people that we really don`t want to hug and kiss on this night...or any other night for that matter.
yep. we are that lame.
i need to get back to my disciplined life. the life of workouts and focusing on my diet and professional developement.
i met a wonderful woman and she has shown me the value of family, love and closeness....things i so desperately missed...but with it has come a longing for my sharp focus on, well....anything but mindless consumerism.
i`m trying to balance this all out this cold wet rainy morning while my children play somewhere in the house and my girlfriend is tucked in her bed reading upstairs.
and i will continue to try.
but i need to feel the road under my bike tires and my heart pounding in my chest.
then i will be able to deal with christmas...a little bit at least.