Saturday, March 03, 2007

and so.

we find ourselves in that familiar position of wanting to talk to that attractive person we see in a bar or at the local coffee shop and we go inside our head and have thoughts.......

you know what happens then don`t you?

you manage to get scared half to death.

how did you do that?

i know how you did it. you ran a rejection scenario that went something like, um, "she will think i`m an idiot", or " i`m definitely not her type....."

whereas she`s hoping someone will come along and have a nice chat with her about something.

so look at her.

what is she doing?

what is she wearing?

how about those great shoes?

is there something that she`s doing or wearing or behaving like that reminds you of something that you can talk about for the ten seconds it will take for you to calm down nough to act like a normal person around her?

because if there is, then you have a 99% better chance of talking to her than by feeling like shit and then making her feel uncomfortable by trying to talk to her.

and do you know how desperate she is for someone to talk to her?

about the same as you..........

16 comments:

KB said...

Here's the thing I find most annoying....when I go out (which isn't that often, but I am getting out more!!) it's always the 'dregs of the earth' that want to chat me up...I just want to say "You've GOT to be joking!!!!" They don't ever seem to have that problem - somehow they have over-inflated opinions of themselves!!!

How come nice ones don't try talking to me??? (I'm actually quite good looking by the way :)

dr.alistair said...

hmm, interesting. do you look at the dregs more often than the preferred types?

sometimes it is our unconscious actions that attract without our conscious knowledge.

fear will do that.

saying to yourself "oh christ don`t come over here." while you are staring at them, sends them signals......

eye contact is critical.

the laws of attraction are consistant.

look at what you like and say nice things, in your mind.....

and smile. that helps.

doing those things will crank up the magnetism.

dr.alistair said...

and kb, do you have a picture of that 250 year old face?

JLee said...

You know what they say about when you're nervous..."picture them naked". Oh wait, maybe not in this case. lol

dr.alistair said...

interesting thought though......

Fleming said...

How true it is: We don't realize how often other people share our lack of confidence and fear of rejection. Where does all that timidity begin?

dr.alistair said...

i think the timidity is a conditioned response.

the list of programming incidents is a mile long.

but certainly there are those who would have us less confident than we would like.

is it a conspiracy against us though?

well, could you imagine everyone asking the obvious questions of church and state and holding out for answers?

Anonymous said...

There are very few people who are insecure enough to turn away random conversation. Engage, engage, engage.

The worst that can happen is that you won't spread your wild oats. Lock up your daughters tonight, Generals!

Conversation is most welcome.

Tally-ho.

- julie

P.S. Salad Fingers.
P.P.S. xmxhuky
P.P.P.S Do you have MSN?

dr.alistair said...

julie......

what is msn?

dr.alistair said...

xmxhuky?

dr.alistair said...

and while i had a passing familiarity with salad fingers, i am now fully intrigued/creeped out.

when i was a child i had a niegbour who reminded me of that character.

england is full of eccentrics.

thankfully most of them aren`t delusional psychopaths mind you.........

flash animation is the only place a character study like that could be possible.

unless he lived on your street of course.

Anonymous said...

MSN - Instant messenger. Great time-waster.

xmxhuky is to 12:51 a.m. and txwyir is to 11:09 p.m.

Salad Fingers is an exceptionally good time. Great psychological study. He lives in my office.

dr.alistair said...

in your office? oh my.

i thought albert fish was a whacko, but...

barista grazioso said...

Awww alistair! Long time no talkie m'friend.

Give yourself more credit dude. I'd talk to you :) The whole rejection thing? You don't have to worry about that.

Salut!

dr.alistair said...

barista, how are you?

and rejection? it runs deep in the psyche.

this is the lesson i face now.

barista grazioso said...

I'm good, thanks. The question is, "how are YOU". (((hugs)))

I know rejection runs deep - especially when coming out of a long commitment, especially something as sacred as marriage.

I wish I have some wise words for you. Saying you don't have to worry about it seems rather flippant, although that's not what I intended.

Unfortunately, it's going to take time and a long process - but you know that Doc. If you see a lady who catches your eye, just try to have a very short, general conversation - nothing personal, until you start feeling comfortable. Give yourself time, Doc. You're a great catch, and you'll be fine (((hugs)))