find people who love themselves.........they`ll be much better equipped add to the relationship as you do.
how can you tell if a person loves themselves?
ask.......
and wait for an answer.
if they don`t understand the question then explain your love for yourself and ask if they agree with the concept and recognise the feeling of loving themselves unconditionally.
if you love yourself unconditionally it will be important to ask the question and accept the ansers as they come.
what you are doing when you ask this question is discussing the value a person has for thier self.
the lower the level a person holds themselves in love, the more thier ego will take over and manipulate thier decision making ability.
and then you.
people who love themselves don`t manipulate.......they accept and add thier bit, or move on.
two people who have this understanding together can move mountains.
all the anger and resentment we experience is as a direct result of someone not loving themselves unconditionally.
we are all on a journey toward discovery of love................the more we allow love to reveal it`s power the more we can grow and be involved in the abundance of all this miracle that is emerging around us each day.
love is allows us to see this.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
what is love for.
love is a survival mechanism.
it is a rule to live by.
it is the basis of discipline in the essence of the self.
it is the default setting for creativity.
it is the thing we do to ourself the first thing we do when we think.
it is the creative force in the universe.
it as all that we see.
it is all that we do.
it is where our feet rest on the ground.
it is our only chance of surviving what happens next.
love is the little shoots coming up out of the ground.
it is the tallest mountains.
it is the sky from horizon to horizon.
it is deep down into the bottom of the deepest ocean.
and right behind your eyes.
it is you.
your entire spirit.
everything that you can concieve of is love it`s self demanding that we look and behold.
laughter, smiles, joy, bliss and celebration. all that is love.
you breathe it in and it goes deep into your cells and nerves and all the atoms line up and do as you command now...............in love.
recognising.
it is a rule to live by.
it is the basis of discipline in the essence of the self.
it is the default setting for creativity.
it is the thing we do to ourself the first thing we do when we think.
it is the creative force in the universe.
it as all that we see.
it is all that we do.
it is where our feet rest on the ground.
it is our only chance of surviving what happens next.
love is the little shoots coming up out of the ground.
it is the tallest mountains.
it is the sky from horizon to horizon.
it is deep down into the bottom of the deepest ocean.
and right behind your eyes.
it is you.
your entire spirit.
everything that you can concieve of is love it`s self demanding that we look and behold.
laughter, smiles, joy, bliss and celebration. all that is love.
you breathe it in and it goes deep into your cells and nerves and all the atoms line up and do as you command now...............in love.
recognising.
Friday, April 28, 2006
unusual experiences.
i am collecting tales of unusual experiences. i would like readers to submit thier weird, odd and scary tales that they`ve experienced so that we can examine reports we all share from the edge of consciousness. these experiences can be from childhood or current events or from someone you know that told you something that was odd or downright creepy. ghosts, flying saucers, odd people you`ve encountered, cold chills in certain rooms in houses, weird animals, impossible coincedences.....anything that could be considered abnormal to regular everyday life.......but no talking cats. that`s impossible.......................
not how but why....
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060426/hl_afp/healthobesityus
we are consumers. we buy things to alleviate discomfort. our discomforts come in a variety of guises, from inadequate toast preparation to the need for air conditioning. the consumer need is met in industrial proportions in a feedback arrangement thet goes from consuming to making consumer products to consuming again. we consume and we get paid out of dollars earned by making and selling consumer products.
food, fuel and shelter are the major needs we spend money on. all of these commodities are, at one time or another, are consumed for entertainment. we go places for fun, we decorate our homes lavishly and we eat more than we need for sustenance.
why?
we are trying to feel better.
why do we feel bad in the first place.
we are conditioned by a culture who`s industry is entirely maintained by the sale, manufacture, and delivery of consumer products.
when we feel badly we buy more, therefore it is my thesis that there are those who`s job is to create a pervasive anxiety state in our culture to drive the consumption of large amounts of stuff.
so we eat to feel better and we store the resulting surplus food as fat in our bodies.
the thing that we are all doing to survive is slowly killing us.
this artificially induced discomfort is driving the selling of dangerous drugs that are supposed to make us feel better too......but they don`t.
the only thing that will save us from our own will to consume is working on methods to let the anxiety move out of our system without damage.
yoga.
athletics.
meditation.
loving relationships.
awareness of health issues surrounding food.
reasons to love being alive and heathy.
these activities are either natural to you or can be acquired as skills through training and practice and are vital for physical and mental health.
i treat anxiety in my practice as a ground for all of my behavioural work. without adressing and dealing with the anxiety issues underlying behaviour, all other modification work is temporary.
we are consumers. we buy things to alleviate discomfort. our discomforts come in a variety of guises, from inadequate toast preparation to the need for air conditioning. the consumer need is met in industrial proportions in a feedback arrangement thet goes from consuming to making consumer products to consuming again. we consume and we get paid out of dollars earned by making and selling consumer products.
food, fuel and shelter are the major needs we spend money on. all of these commodities are, at one time or another, are consumed for entertainment. we go places for fun, we decorate our homes lavishly and we eat more than we need for sustenance.
why?
we are trying to feel better.
why do we feel bad in the first place.
we are conditioned by a culture who`s industry is entirely maintained by the sale, manufacture, and delivery of consumer products.
when we feel badly we buy more, therefore it is my thesis that there are those who`s job is to create a pervasive anxiety state in our culture to drive the consumption of large amounts of stuff.
so we eat to feel better and we store the resulting surplus food as fat in our bodies.
the thing that we are all doing to survive is slowly killing us.
this artificially induced discomfort is driving the selling of dangerous drugs that are supposed to make us feel better too......but they don`t.
the only thing that will save us from our own will to consume is working on methods to let the anxiety move out of our system without damage.
yoga.
athletics.
meditation.
loving relationships.
awareness of health issues surrounding food.
reasons to love being alive and heathy.
these activities are either natural to you or can be acquired as skills through training and practice and are vital for physical and mental health.
i treat anxiety in my practice as a ground for all of my behavioural work. without adressing and dealing with the anxiety issues underlying behaviour, all other modification work is temporary.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
not just for chris.......
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/44946/
rrrrrr, bbrrrrrrrmmmmmm, bbbrumm,mmm,mmm,mmm................can we do it again?
rrrrrr, bbrrrrrrrmmmmmm, bbbrumm,mmm,mmm,mmm................can we do it again?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
petition the spirit.
o.k. so things aren`t really working the way you wanted...........you feel as if there is some unseen something holding you back. i know that i do on occasion and i know that the feeling is a valid one. energy wants to flow and there are barriers in the way.
you have to declare that you are ready to recieve the solutions now. you have to say that outloud in your clearest voice. preferably not in the lineup at the coffee shop but somewhere where you can be heard without criticism.
say "i am ready to recieve the solutions now" and then go about your day.
feel foolish but do it anyway..............
it will change your life.
you have to declare that you are ready to recieve the solutions now. you have to say that outloud in your clearest voice. preferably not in the lineup at the coffee shop but somewhere where you can be heard without criticism.
say "i am ready to recieve the solutions now" and then go about your day.
feel foolish but do it anyway..............
it will change your life.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
timothy leary said............
timothy leary was a radical phd psychologist from the sixties that was allowed to use lsd (acid) to treat people in prison. he found that of those he treated in his program, only five percent ended up returning to prison after release. a ninety five percent cure for criminality. not a bad number. tim then got swept up in the counter culture revolution of the sixties and became a sort of guru to the young during a time of rock music, drugs and a new free sexuality in society. he became a wanted man eventually for a variety of reasons and eventually went to jail for possession of a few grams of pot.
the thing that sticks in my mind about him was that when asked how he dealt with the persecution he experienced by the government and police he said "i come back with as much love as possible".
words to live by.
the thing that sticks in my mind about him was that when asked how he dealt with the persecution he experienced by the government and police he said "i come back with as much love as possible".
words to live by.
do you believe in extraterrestrials?
do you believe in extraterrestrials?
the church does.
the church wants us to believe that a being that exists somewhere off the surface of this planet made all of this stuff we see here and all of everything that will ever exist and the means to create it.
and us too.
a spaceman.
wow.
we don`t even believe that.
our government says that extraterrestrials don`t exist.
psychiatrists will medicate you if you say you`ve seen one, or the ship they travel in..........
some one or two percent of americans in the roper poll said that they`d had contact with beings in ships and that some even claimed to have been abducted by them and treated in a variety of ways.
maybe the church has a point.
the church does.
the church wants us to believe that a being that exists somewhere off the surface of this planet made all of this stuff we see here and all of everything that will ever exist and the means to create it.
and us too.
a spaceman.
wow.
we don`t even believe that.
our government says that extraterrestrials don`t exist.
psychiatrists will medicate you if you say you`ve seen one, or the ship they travel in..........
some one or two percent of americans in the roper poll said that they`d had contact with beings in ships and that some even claimed to have been abducted by them and treated in a variety of ways.
maybe the church has a point.
the true nature of god.
as a student of divinity at the doctorate level i am asked to explain my view of what god is in the context of what my school believes. the school believes in the spirit all around us as a super or higher power. between you and me, i think that the idea of another being or spirit if you will seperate from what we know at the furthest stretch of our intellect and consciousness, is making things unnecessarily complex.
what if it`s all you and me doing it all?
what if we designed and tested and engineered and produced the whole of everything from the tiniest blade of grass to the tallest mountain to the most elaborate ecosystem to the deepest ocean and all the fish in it?
doesn`t that seem as equally preposterous and ridiculous as some extraterrestrial entity able to do the same thing?
there is one glaring difference though...........
if it`s all down to you and me, then we`d better start thinking better thoughts.........don`t you suppose?
lets not hate our neigbours for painting thier side of the fence, let`s not freak our children out by being so critical of thier errors over trivial things, lets not beat ourselves up because we can`t live like the people in the big houses across the highway (however it is they live anyway.....), let`s not think that we are so much better than people who believe different things than we do or drive rusty cars or mix plaid and checks or wear white shoes with dark pants...........
let`s mind our own fucking business and smile a bit more each day and see the sun coming through the clouds..........and love your kids and your friends and your wife and husband like you have chosen to love yourself (you have made that decision, right?) and then let them go and do thier life thier way........
and remember who you are.
someone once asked me if i knew who it was that made the grass green.
do you?
what if it`s all you and me doing it all?
what if we designed and tested and engineered and produced the whole of everything from the tiniest blade of grass to the tallest mountain to the most elaborate ecosystem to the deepest ocean and all the fish in it?
doesn`t that seem as equally preposterous and ridiculous as some extraterrestrial entity able to do the same thing?
there is one glaring difference though...........
if it`s all down to you and me, then we`d better start thinking better thoughts.........don`t you suppose?
lets not hate our neigbours for painting thier side of the fence, let`s not freak our children out by being so critical of thier errors over trivial things, lets not beat ourselves up because we can`t live like the people in the big houses across the highway (however it is they live anyway.....), let`s not think that we are so much better than people who believe different things than we do or drive rusty cars or mix plaid and checks or wear white shoes with dark pants...........
let`s mind our own fucking business and smile a bit more each day and see the sun coming through the clouds..........and love your kids and your friends and your wife and husband like you have chosen to love yourself (you have made that decision, right?) and then let them go and do thier life thier way........
and remember who you are.
someone once asked me if i knew who it was that made the grass green.
do you?
come back with as much love as you can.
there are those who search all thier lives for the perfect this or that. they look for the perfect person to treat them right (whatever that means.) and settle down into a life.
o.k. so what does all that mean?
the person searching thinks that they need something or some person so that they will feel something............different.......better...perfect?
do you see where this is going to be a problem?
the more you discover better feelings for yourself through acceptance, faith and reliance in what you are capable of in your life, the less you believe in the dogma of thinking that people and things can add something special or different or perfect in your life.
there are moments where we do have special feelings about people or things.....that`s natural, but to build conditions about how new relationships will be is setting yourself up for tragedy.
our entire culture is dependant on you developing conditional relationships.......our culture is one of consumerism and quick fixes.
to be free of the burden of culture is to begin right now to be loyal to your self and not get caught up in the aquisition game.......of things or people........just so you can feel better.
your friends don`t owe you anything.
your wife doesn`t owe you anything.
your children don`t owe you anything.
and you don`t owe them anything either..........
you owe your self the kindness, the compassion and the love to be able to make the distinction between conditional relationships, that is those where performance in the future is needed to continue, and unconditional relationships where you will be in love no matter what.
and that starts and stops with you.
as soon as you love yourself unconditionally, your world changes.
you walk differently.
you talk differently.
you create different chemicals in your body and this makes you do diferent things.
you smile and relax and allow and accept things and stop judging and hold the door for others and the whole world changes in precisely the same way you do.
it always has, by the way.......it`s just that most people blame others or make up silly theories about magic or astrology or phases of the moon to rationalise thier discomfort.
discomfort and pain is nature`s way of telling you that something is wrong.
now you know what to do when the feelings come............
come back with as much love as you possibly can.
o.k. so what does all that mean?
the person searching thinks that they need something or some person so that they will feel something............different.......better...perfect?
do you see where this is going to be a problem?
the more you discover better feelings for yourself through acceptance, faith and reliance in what you are capable of in your life, the less you believe in the dogma of thinking that people and things can add something special or different or perfect in your life.
there are moments where we do have special feelings about people or things.....that`s natural, but to build conditions about how new relationships will be is setting yourself up for tragedy.
our entire culture is dependant on you developing conditional relationships.......our culture is one of consumerism and quick fixes.
to be free of the burden of culture is to begin right now to be loyal to your self and not get caught up in the aquisition game.......of things or people........just so you can feel better.
your friends don`t owe you anything.
your wife doesn`t owe you anything.
your children don`t owe you anything.
and you don`t owe them anything either..........
you owe your self the kindness, the compassion and the love to be able to make the distinction between conditional relationships, that is those where performance in the future is needed to continue, and unconditional relationships where you will be in love no matter what.
and that starts and stops with you.
as soon as you love yourself unconditionally, your world changes.
you walk differently.
you talk differently.
you create different chemicals in your body and this makes you do diferent things.
you smile and relax and allow and accept things and stop judging and hold the door for others and the whole world changes in precisely the same way you do.
it always has, by the way.......it`s just that most people blame others or make up silly theories about magic or astrology or phases of the moon to rationalise thier discomfort.
discomfort and pain is nature`s way of telling you that something is wrong.
now you know what to do when the feelings come............
come back with as much love as you possibly can.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
well. it takes real courage to look hard enough into yourself and decide that you are going to treat yourself well enough for it to be considered love...........and when you begin to do this then you can begin to dare to look deeply into the souls of others too.
but not before.
you will be blind.
you will fail to make the distinctions needed to choose those who care enough about themselves to not harm you...............until you choose to be that for yourself.
after that you will never see anything the same way again.
but the warning here is to realise that as you go through this process of seeing and listening and feeling in different ways you will begin to reject things powerfully that you may have desperately clung to for years. and you may also find yourself needing to be in and around other situations and people too.
the whole thing is going to turn upside down.
are you ready?
can you swim?
when your eyes begin to become accustomed to the new light you will begin to see others who care about themselves deeply.
not in an ego driven way, but in a peaceful and powerful way that you may suddenly notice for the first time and you will say, "wow, i have to have some of that" and at that moment you will begin to.
when you passionately and deeply mind your own business it builds your power...............and power is what we need in this world to live peacefully, so that we can solve our issues and meet our goals and thrill to the wonder of what is unfolding around us all the time.
we really can only see what we know in ourselves.....so pay attention to the messages that are coming at you for the next little while.....there is a little bird trying to say something to you.
feel the unconditional love that you have for yourself now. know that you don`t have to earn it. the love exists as the natural resting and dynamic moving state of energy in the universe. you are part of that.
that`s why it`s unconditional.
without conditions.
ask a lawyer, he`ll tell you.
the only conditions that exist are borne out of fear and uncertainty...............and the expectation of some exchange of value based on future efforts or providing of products or services......you know, like a marriage.........
what a joke.
if you continue to earn money.............i`ll still love you...is that o.k.?
we have legalised and put%
but not before.
you will be blind.
you will fail to make the distinctions needed to choose those who care enough about themselves to not harm you...............until you choose to be that for yourself.
after that you will never see anything the same way again.
but the warning here is to realise that as you go through this process of seeing and listening and feeling in different ways you will begin to reject things powerfully that you may have desperately clung to for years. and you may also find yourself needing to be in and around other situations and people too.
the whole thing is going to turn upside down.
are you ready?
can you swim?
when your eyes begin to become accustomed to the new light you will begin to see others who care about themselves deeply.
not in an ego driven way, but in a peaceful and powerful way that you may suddenly notice for the first time and you will say, "wow, i have to have some of that" and at that moment you will begin to.
when you passionately and deeply mind your own business it builds your power...............and power is what we need in this world to live peacefully, so that we can solve our issues and meet our goals and thrill to the wonder of what is unfolding around us all the time.
we really can only see what we know in ourselves.....so pay attention to the messages that are coming at you for the next little while.....there is a little bird trying to say something to you.
feel the unconditional love that you have for yourself now. know that you don`t have to earn it. the love exists as the natural resting and dynamic moving state of energy in the universe. you are part of that.
that`s why it`s unconditional.
without conditions.
ask a lawyer, he`ll tell you.
the only conditions that exist are borne out of fear and uncertainty...............and the expectation of some exchange of value based on future efforts or providing of products or services......you know, like a marriage.........
what a joke.
if you continue to earn money.............i`ll still love you...is that o.k.?
we have legalised and put%
how do we recognise this uncoditional love in others?
well. it takes real courage to look hard enough into yourself and decide that you are going to treat yourself well enough for it to be considered love...........and when you begin to do this then you can begin to dare to look deeply into the souls of others too.
but not before.
you will be blind.
you will fail to make the distinctions needed to choose those who care enough about themselves to not harm you...............until you choose to be that for yourself.
after that you will never see anything the same way again.
but the warning here is to realise that as you go through this process of seeing and listening and feeling in different ways you will begin to reject things powerfully that you may have desperately clung to for years. and you may also find yourself needing to be in and around other situations and people too.
the whole thing is going to turn upside down.
are you ready?
can you swim?
when your eyes begin to become accustomed to the new light you will begin to see others who care about themselves deeply.
not in an ego driven way, but in a peaceful and powerful way that you may suddenly notice for the first time and you will say, "wow, i have to have some of that" and at that moment you will begin to.
when you passionately and deeply mind your own business it builds your power...............and power is what we need in this world to live peacefully, so that we can solve our issues and meet our goals and thrill to the wonder of what is unfolding around us all the time.
we really can only see what we know in ourselves.....so pay attention to the messages that are coming at you for the next little while.....there is a little bird trying to say something to you.
feel the unconditional love that you have for yourself now. know that you don`t have to earn it. the love exists as the natural resting and dynamic moving state of energy in the universe. you are part of that.
that`s why it`s unconditional.
without conditions.
ask a lawyer, he`ll tell you.
the only conditions that exist are borne out of fear and uncertainty...............and the expectation of some exchange of value based on future efforts or providing of products or services......you know, like a marriage.........
what a joke.
if you continue to earn money.............i`ll still love you...is that o.k.?
we have legalised and put contractual limits on love............well done people.
if you love yourself unconditionally you don`t play legal games like that.
people who have the capacity to love themselves unconditionally will give you nothing, but they will do you no harm and leave you the space to be in love with yourself in a powerful and supporting way....and i guess that`s what we desperately need.
what kind of world would we live in if nobody would pick up a gun or cut you off on the highway or steal your things at work?
bit of a fantasy really, but you can start with yourself.
but not before.
you will be blind.
you will fail to make the distinctions needed to choose those who care enough about themselves to not harm you...............until you choose to be that for yourself.
after that you will never see anything the same way again.
but the warning here is to realise that as you go through this process of seeing and listening and feeling in different ways you will begin to reject things powerfully that you may have desperately clung to for years. and you may also find yourself needing to be in and around other situations and people too.
the whole thing is going to turn upside down.
are you ready?
can you swim?
when your eyes begin to become accustomed to the new light you will begin to see others who care about themselves deeply.
not in an ego driven way, but in a peaceful and powerful way that you may suddenly notice for the first time and you will say, "wow, i have to have some of that" and at that moment you will begin to.
when you passionately and deeply mind your own business it builds your power...............and power is what we need in this world to live peacefully, so that we can solve our issues and meet our goals and thrill to the wonder of what is unfolding around us all the time.
we really can only see what we know in ourselves.....so pay attention to the messages that are coming at you for the next little while.....there is a little bird trying to say something to you.
feel the unconditional love that you have for yourself now. know that you don`t have to earn it. the love exists as the natural resting and dynamic moving state of energy in the universe. you are part of that.
that`s why it`s unconditional.
without conditions.
ask a lawyer, he`ll tell you.
the only conditions that exist are borne out of fear and uncertainty...............and the expectation of some exchange of value based on future efforts or providing of products or services......you know, like a marriage.........
what a joke.
if you continue to earn money.............i`ll still love you...is that o.k.?
we have legalised and put contractual limits on love............well done people.
if you love yourself unconditionally you don`t play legal games like that.
people who have the capacity to love themselves unconditionally will give you nothing, but they will do you no harm and leave you the space to be in love with yourself in a powerful and supporting way....and i guess that`s what we desperately need.
what kind of world would we live in if nobody would pick up a gun or cut you off on the highway or steal your things at work?
bit of a fantasy really, but you can start with yourself.
we all experience anxiety.........i am experiencing some while typing this article. why? there are a million reasons why we feel anxiety but only one first cause.
uncertainty.
we aren`t sure how things are going to work out.
everything you can imagine happening in the future is of concern to someone, somehow, and will cause them anxiety in some form or another.
what is that spider going to do next?
how is my boss going to take the idea?
will that plank hold my weight?
and the list goes on. there are people who can become paralized with fear over things that you and i wouldn`t even give a second thought to. but don`t trivialize thier reaction to the thought. it`s controlling thier entire life.
i was in a car with a person who swerved off the road because a tiny spider webbed down off the visor in front of her.............we could have been killed because of her terror of spiders.
what was she seeing that i wasn`t?
obviously something terrifying.
i used to be mortally afraid of public speaking. it was in the way of the developement of my lecture business so i had to deal with the mechanisms that created the fear (fight or flight.) that i felt seeing people waiting for me to speak.
i dealt with the fear by seeing, feeling and hearing different things associated with the image of people sitting waiting for me to speak to them.
i show people how to break the cycle of anxiety that they feel about impending situations by rationalising how the do thier anxiety first. i learn how they do thier fear. then i ask them rationally to stop doing that. when they agree to stop doing that that way, then we install new things to associate with the same stimulus.
see a spider with a funny hat and a clown nose on, and a smile like a car salesman......you have to react differently to that image of a spider, don`t you?
what are you afraid of?
let me know.......we can build a new model for your life by installing different strategies for coping with the familiar anxiety..........and when you feel different about the situation you will act differently. i promise.
uncertainty.
we aren`t sure how things are going to work out.
everything you can imagine happening in the future is of concern to someone, somehow, and will cause them anxiety in some form or another.
what is that spider going to do next?
how is my boss going to take the idea?
will that plank hold my weight?
and the list goes on. there are people who can become paralized with fear over things that you and i wouldn`t even give a second thought to. but don`t trivialize thier reaction to the thought. it`s controlling thier entire life.
i was in a car with a person who swerved off the road because a tiny spider webbed down off the visor in front of her.............we could have been killed because of her terror of spiders.
what was she seeing that i wasn`t?
obviously something terrifying.
i used to be mortally afraid of public speaking. it was in the way of the developement of my lecture business so i had to deal with the mechanisms that created the fear (fight or flight.) that i felt seeing people waiting for me to speak.
i dealt with the fear by seeing, feeling and hearing different things associated with the image of people sitting waiting for me to speak to them.
i show people how to break the cycle of anxiety that they feel about impending situations by rationalising how the do thier anxiety first. i learn how they do thier fear. then i ask them rationally to stop doing that. when they agree to stop doing that that way, then we install new things to associate with the same stimulus.
see a spider with a funny hat and a clown nose on, and a smile like a car salesman......you have to react differently to that image of a spider, don`t you?
what are you afraid of?
let me know.......we can build a new model for your life by installing different strategies for coping with the familiar anxiety..........and when you feel different about the situation you will act differently. i promise.
anxiety.
we all experience anxiety.........i am experiencing some while typing this article. why? there are a million reasons why we feel anxiety but only one first cause.
uncertainty.
we aren`t sure how things are going to work out.
everything you can imagine happening in the future is of concern to someone, somehow, and will cause them anxiety in some form or another.
what is that spider going to do next?
how is my boss going to take the idea?
will that plank hold my weight?
and the list goes on. there are people who can become paralized with fear over things that you and i wouldn`t even give a second thought to. but don`t trivialize thier reaction to the thought. it`s controlling thier entire life.
i was in a car with a person who swerved off the road because a tiny spider webbed down off the visor in front of her.............we could have been killed because of her terror of spiders.
what was she seeing that i wasn`t?
obviously something terrifying.
i used to be mortally afraid of public speaking. it was in the way of the developement of my lecture business so i had to deal with the mechanisms that created the fear (fight or flight.) that i felt seeing people waiting for me to speak.
i dealt with the fear by seeing, feeling and hearing different things associated with the image of people sitting waiting for me to speak to them.
i show people how to break the cycle of anxiety that they feel about impending situations by rationalising how the do thier anxiety first. i learn how they do thier fear. then i ask them rationally to stop doing that. when they agree to stop doing that that way, then we install new things to associate with the same stimulus.
see a spider with a funny hat and a clown nose on, and a smile like a car salesman......you have to react differently to that image of a spider, don`t you?
what are you afraid of?
let me know.......we can build a new model for your life by installing different strategies for coping with the familiar anxiety..........and when you feel different about the situation you will act differently. i promise.
uncertainty.
we aren`t sure how things are going to work out.
everything you can imagine happening in the future is of concern to someone, somehow, and will cause them anxiety in some form or another.
what is that spider going to do next?
how is my boss going to take the idea?
will that plank hold my weight?
and the list goes on. there are people who can become paralized with fear over things that you and i wouldn`t even give a second thought to. but don`t trivialize thier reaction to the thought. it`s controlling thier entire life.
i was in a car with a person who swerved off the road because a tiny spider webbed down off the visor in front of her.............we could have been killed because of her terror of spiders.
what was she seeing that i wasn`t?
obviously something terrifying.
i used to be mortally afraid of public speaking. it was in the way of the developement of my lecture business so i had to deal with the mechanisms that created the fear (fight or flight.) that i felt seeing people waiting for me to speak.
i dealt with the fear by seeing, feeling and hearing different things associated with the image of people sitting waiting for me to speak to them.
i show people how to break the cycle of anxiety that they feel about impending situations by rationalising how the do thier anxiety first. i learn how they do thier fear. then i ask them rationally to stop doing that. when they agree to stop doing that that way, then we install new things to associate with the same stimulus.
see a spider with a funny hat and a clown nose on, and a smile like a car salesman......you have to react differently to that image of a spider, don`t you?
what are you afraid of?
let me know.......we can build a new model for your life by installing different strategies for coping with the familiar anxiety..........and when you feel different about the situation you will act differently. i promise.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
alan watt.
http://www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com/
i`ve been listening to alan`s point of view recently. it`s a bit heavy but sheds light on a number of growing concerns that we all have as people on the planet.
i`ve been listening to alan`s point of view recently. it`s a bit heavy but sheds light on a number of growing concerns that we all have as people on the planet.
Friday, April 21, 2006
compassion vs. ego play.
in today`s voracious want to be seen as a compassionate person we tend to get involved in charities and fundraising. this is what i call compassion by consumerism. we are buying a good feeling and reducing guilt for not doing anything about the plight of blah, blah, blah............
real valid compassion is rolling your sleeves up and doing something locally about something that needs to be done. it takes courage, time, effort and money and can take a minute, or a lifetime if done right.
compassion is the direct opposite of giving fifty bucks to a large corporation to fund more ad campaigns similar to the one you responded to. you aren`t helping anyone. you are shopping.
compassion is changing pain in people`s lives directly. be a friend, a father, a son, a niegbour, a leader, a coach. one-on-one or in a group. with real people. do not shy away when the time comes for you to get involved in your community. that is what compassion is. and if you feel strongly enough about a distant plight, go there. take some friends and equipment and go make a difference. get dirty, get emotional, get grateful, but for god`s sake don`t throw money blindly at the next sales pitch thinking that if you don`t that something horrid will happen. it already did. you had to experience someone trying to bully you into giving them money.
there`s another lesson in unconditional love for yourself.
real valid compassion is rolling your sleeves up and doing something locally about something that needs to be done. it takes courage, time, effort and money and can take a minute, or a lifetime if done right.
compassion is the direct opposite of giving fifty bucks to a large corporation to fund more ad campaigns similar to the one you responded to. you aren`t helping anyone. you are shopping.
compassion is changing pain in people`s lives directly. be a friend, a father, a son, a niegbour, a leader, a coach. one-on-one or in a group. with real people. do not shy away when the time comes for you to get involved in your community. that is what compassion is. and if you feel strongly enough about a distant plight, go there. take some friends and equipment and go make a difference. get dirty, get emotional, get grateful, but for god`s sake don`t throw money blindly at the next sales pitch thinking that if you don`t that something horrid will happen. it already did. you had to experience someone trying to bully you into giving them money.
there`s another lesson in unconditional love for yourself.
the next lesson.
well, here we are now, realising that the world doesn`t owe us anything and feeling releived that we don`t have to manipulate situations, merely accept things as they occur and go with them or leave.
accept or reject. no tantrums, demands or hostage taking. including yourself.
simple.
so here comes the first test. a person is flapping and wants more that they clearly deserve in a situation. what do you do?
you know what you`ve done in the past but that has gotten you deeper and people tend to want to hold you responsible and that`s what can happen unless you choose to step back a moment and take a deep breath and remember.......that you love yourself unconditionally.
oh..........
that means that you can`t call them an idiot.
why?
that`s a threat to your wellbeing?
you can`t offer a solution.
why?
high risk of rejection. threat to self.
you can walk away calmly and circle around for a minute or two............
why not?
right.
now..........your ego says fight or look good by offering solutions or any one of a hundred potential actions that can blow up in your face........but calmly smiling and walking away for a minute is an investment in self love.
calm warm loving consideration of a peaceful outcome for your self.
repeat forever.
accept or reject. no tantrums, demands or hostage taking. including yourself.
simple.
so here comes the first test. a person is flapping and wants more that they clearly deserve in a situation. what do you do?
you know what you`ve done in the past but that has gotten you deeper and people tend to want to hold you responsible and that`s what can happen unless you choose to step back a moment and take a deep breath and remember.......that you love yourself unconditionally.
oh..........
that means that you can`t call them an idiot.
why?
that`s a threat to your wellbeing?
you can`t offer a solution.
why?
high risk of rejection. threat to self.
you can walk away calmly and circle around for a minute or two............
why not?
right.
now..........your ego says fight or look good by offering solutions or any one of a hundred potential actions that can blow up in your face........but calmly smiling and walking away for a minute is an investment in self love.
calm warm loving consideration of a peaceful outcome for your self.
repeat forever.
towards the developement of a thesis for a model of unconditional love for the self.
this is the begining of developing a model of unconditional love for the self. it will be formed in modules that can be used as evaluative and developemental tools. the first module will deal with recognition, or cognition of the state of internal structures that constitute unconditional love for the self.
in the begining we are helpless to the world and are reliant on others for our survival. as we grow we develop skills to get what we need in more and more articulated ways. this is true for those around us that we are interacting with. virtually all of our focus is on the world outside our minds and bodies. this focus makes us reliant on others in sophisticated ways. we have become dependant on others for so much of everything that we do that it creates a split in our psyche to the point where we have a difficult time seperating the self out from society.
we become a slave to the feelings of others as a byproduct of this split.
we worry what others think more than we focus on our own needs.
we are put off by negative opinions about ourselves.
we get manipulated into doing things and tolerating things that we don`t want to do and that are potentially destructive.
and so the list goes on about how we get pushed about like a boat without a sail set adrift on the high sea.
so, here we are after being manipulated once again and saying the same thing again. "i`ll never have that happen to me again."
and it`s true......you won`t. but you`ll close the door on every other opportunity to experience life in joy in the process. that`s what it means to be hardened in battle. the bombs don`t startle you anymore and you can sleep through the screams and gunfire.
but what about life and living.......away from the battlefield?
we take a huge chance in opening up as we go through life`s disappointments out of fear of the same thing happening again.
until we start to take our consciousness seriously.
until we realise that our self is important.
the most important.
first. and possibly even second too.
and smile while looking for someone or group of people who think the same way.
how can you tell who they are?
by being honest with your desire to love, cherish and honour yourself. tell others how you feel. and listen for the responses.
the more you do this you will find out who the other people are who feel good enough about themselves to let you have your love and share it with you and add thier own.
to many in our society are waiting for something first.......as if they are entitled to something first. that`s pure ego at work. like the child in the crib who has no choice but to rely on mum and dad for everything.
unconditional love opens up a gate of energy that flows through you from the universe and out back into the universe again. we don`t own it any more than we own the air that we breathe or the water we drink. we piss it right out again as soon as we`re done with it anyway.
same with a smile. you can`t keep it so don`t try to keep it trapped inside. let it out.
unconditional love is that energy that flows through you.
it causes the feelings of wanting to open the gate and it`s the feeling of having the gate open up. and it`s the recognition of the feelings in yourself and in others........when you are ready.
unconditional love for the self is too big to try to keep inside, so don`t try.
as you get comfortable with this flow of energy others will see it and then the next lesson will come..................
in the begining we are helpless to the world and are reliant on others for our survival. as we grow we develop skills to get what we need in more and more articulated ways. this is true for those around us that we are interacting with. virtually all of our focus is on the world outside our minds and bodies. this focus makes us reliant on others in sophisticated ways. we have become dependant on others for so much of everything that we do that it creates a split in our psyche to the point where we have a difficult time seperating the self out from society.
we become a slave to the feelings of others as a byproduct of this split.
we worry what others think more than we focus on our own needs.
we are put off by negative opinions about ourselves.
we get manipulated into doing things and tolerating things that we don`t want to do and that are potentially destructive.
and so the list goes on about how we get pushed about like a boat without a sail set adrift on the high sea.
so, here we are after being manipulated once again and saying the same thing again. "i`ll never have that happen to me again."
and it`s true......you won`t. but you`ll close the door on every other opportunity to experience life in joy in the process. that`s what it means to be hardened in battle. the bombs don`t startle you anymore and you can sleep through the screams and gunfire.
but what about life and living.......away from the battlefield?
we take a huge chance in opening up as we go through life`s disappointments out of fear of the same thing happening again.
until we start to take our consciousness seriously.
until we realise that our self is important.
the most important.
first. and possibly even second too.
and smile while looking for someone or group of people who think the same way.
how can you tell who they are?
by being honest with your desire to love, cherish and honour yourself. tell others how you feel. and listen for the responses.
the more you do this you will find out who the other people are who feel good enough about themselves to let you have your love and share it with you and add thier own.
to many in our society are waiting for something first.......as if they are entitled to something first. that`s pure ego at work. like the child in the crib who has no choice but to rely on mum and dad for everything.
unconditional love opens up a gate of energy that flows through you from the universe and out back into the universe again. we don`t own it any more than we own the air that we breathe or the water we drink. we piss it right out again as soon as we`re done with it anyway.
same with a smile. you can`t keep it so don`t try to keep it trapped inside. let it out.
unconditional love is that energy that flows through you.
it causes the feelings of wanting to open the gate and it`s the feeling of having the gate open up. and it`s the recognition of the feelings in yourself and in others........when you are ready.
unconditional love for the self is too big to try to keep inside, so don`t try.
as you get comfortable with this flow of energy others will see it and then the next lesson will come..................
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