Sunday, April 23, 2006

anxiety.

we all experience anxiety.........i am experiencing some while typing this article. why? there are a million reasons why we feel anxiety but only one first cause.
uncertainty.
we aren`t sure how things are going to work out.
everything you can imagine happening in the future is of concern to someone, somehow, and will cause them anxiety in some form or another.
what is that spider going to do next?
how is my boss going to take the idea?
will that plank hold my weight?
and the list goes on. there are people who can become paralized with fear over things that you and i wouldn`t even give a second thought to. but don`t trivialize thier reaction to the thought. it`s controlling thier entire life.
i was in a car with a person who swerved off the road because a tiny spider webbed down off the visor in front of her.............we could have been killed because of her terror of spiders.
what was she seeing that i wasn`t?
obviously something terrifying.
i used to be mortally afraid of public speaking. it was in the way of the developement of my lecture business so i had to deal with the mechanisms that created the fear (fight or flight.) that i felt seeing people waiting for me to speak.
i dealt with the fear by seeing, feeling and hearing different things associated with the image of people sitting waiting for me to speak to them.
i show people how to break the cycle of anxiety that they feel about impending situations by rationalising how the do thier anxiety first. i learn how they do thier fear. then i ask them rationally to stop doing that. when they agree to stop doing that that way, then we install new things to associate with the same stimulus.
see a spider with a funny hat and a clown nose on, and a smile like a car salesman......you have to react differently to that image of a spider, don`t you?
what are you afraid of?
let me know.......we can build a new model for your life by installing different strategies for coping with the familiar anxiety..........and when you feel different about the situation you will act differently. i promise.

2 comments:

anu said...

I am glad that you are safe Dr.

Long ago ex had opened a bank a/c in bombay and given my address to the bank. I've received a letter from the bank.

I have no contact with ex now. I dont write to him and dont call him.

But i realised the letter with his name terrified me. I am scared at the mere mention of his name. You asked "what are you afraid of?"

Now i've to either write to ex or call him to ask for his address and courier this to him. I am afraid of doing this becoz i tend to get vulnerable when i talk to him and he suddenly seems really powerful. I am afraid that he will say something which will hurt me and i'll go off-balance and end up in pain.

dr.alistair said...

you are assuming that you need to respond.......
what if you didn`t respond but told the bank that you have no contact with him?