Monday, October 17, 2005

fear.

fear. we are born with a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. everything else is learned.
we have learned to be afraid of everything but loud noises and falling.
that means everything we are afraid of is created in our heads without direct stimulation. reaction to direct stimulation is isn`t fear. it`s a reaction. the memory of a reaction can become a fear though.
so what do we do about all the fear going on?
look at where we get it from.
t.v. , newspapers, government, unfounded beliefs of others, outright lies meant to manipulate, accidental imprints(rare) and assumptions we make that can become accepted as fact about threats.
once we understand the delivery system for fears then we can begin to edit the process.
stop watching t.v. and reading newspapers.
when someone makes a fear-inducing statement, challenge the statement. this includes government.
avoid outright liars.
how do you tell a liar? accept all statements from a human as factual until they are proven wrong. if a person persists making erroneous statements..........edit them.
the most difficult area of fear delivery is the erronious ideas we use to run our lives. these pre-suppositions can be hard to detect and therefore hardest to change.
watch the language you use to describe your reality. it is obvious in others. some people are positive, others negative. which are you?
editing your own language can be the most effective means of eradicating fear from our lives.
we talk ourselves in and out of our lives.
why choose to nag the shit out of yourself and create rotten outcomes?
just habit. though so.
choose the happy, irrational optimism. i know you will like it. i`m positive.
if your internal nag won`t stop, tell it to shut the fuck up, laugh and choose a positive outcome.
fear can`t survive without willing participants.

13 comments:

anu said...

"fear can`t survive without willing participants" - i love this statement Dr.

It is so empowering.

How does one get over a relationship which did not work? And which ended so bitterly. There are some questions in my mind and i want answers for it. It is hounding me. I am scared to think of the relationship i had becoz it makes me vulnerable.

Right now i just use yur technique 'shut the fuck up' when i start thinking of it. But i am afraid that i may be superficially dealing with the problem while the whole thing is getting bundled up below the carpet and will explode like a volcano one day.

There must be a moer peaceful way to resolve this Dr?

dr.alistair said...

giving the situation time to heal is the only way these things are dealt with. your only concern is how to deal with your own internal dialog in the meantime. you are learning to be able to take control of your internal processes so that you can be at peace. that`s all we can ever ask for in any of our experiences.
when we are watching t.v. and we don`t like the programme, we change the channel. when we don`t enjoy the emotions that we are experiencing,if we learn to change channels in our mind the same will be true in life.

dr.alistair said...

and there is no carpet, in your mind, under which you can sweep issues unless you decide to. this is called denial. you`re not doing that.

anu said...

Dr yesterday night i started to cry thinking of all this.

At that time, i randomly opened a page in Seth's NOPR and found this:

To rid yourself of annoying restrictions then, my dear friend, you repattern your past from the present. Whatever your circumstances, you use the past as a rich source, looking through it for your successes, restructuring it. When you search in looking for what is wrong, then ou become blind to what was right, in those terms, so that the past only mirrors the shortcomings that now face you.

This made me stop rethinking of what went wrong in the past. And probably i appreciate the 'shut the fuck up method' more. As it seeks to stop the pattern, as you said, the incessant chatter in the mind.

Thank you for your feedback Dr.

anu said...

The seth quote was from Pg 298 (4th para) NOPR.

dr.alistair said...

any time we are thinking of things, we are programming. that`s the nature of our mind. to control the process is to take control of the programming.
why not make it enjoyable?

anu said...

yea true, it is begining to make sense now. Thanks :)

dr.alistair said...

don`t rush the process......just know that this stuff goes in deeply into the cells of our body and soon it will begin to come out in our actions in the world. the first time you catch yourself you will laugh out loud.

anu said...

Wow!

dr.alistair said...

an i mean that most sincerely. you will catch yourself..........and it will make you laugh. it is a most indescribable and wonderful sensation.......knowing that you love yourself unconditionally.
it is like training to ride a bicycle or martial arts or kicking a soccer ball. you struggle and fail and get frustrated and quit and go back and try again, over and over......and then,one day, without any effort whatsoever, bang. the ball flys into the net.....and you wonder how you did it,because it felt so different from the struggling and forcing the issue and failing.
just like life.
people say "there has to be another way". and they`re right. the thing is they have no clue as to how to do "another way", there is no book to read, or "another way for dummies"......
but there is that quiet voice, deep inside, if you learn to listen.

anu said...

You are so right when you say that this is like training. The old conditioning of the mind has to be worn out by a new discipline to care for oneself most.

Dr, sometimes i am worried what if something happ to my ex. I do love him still. He is 59 and i am 29.

But, he has told me that he has moved on. And he never ever calls. I dont want to be a pile-on. And i do get hurt many times when i am interacting with him.

Bascially becoz he loves himself a LOT and i love him a LOT. So there you see? Noone loves me enough here. Neither me nor him.

I so wanted to call him up today. But i resisted becoz i am scared that i will hurt myself.

But i must persist. There is no other way out. This is a disease, an addiction. I know it is no good.
I am feeling like a drug-addict now, struggling through a rehabilitiation process.

dr.alistair said...

find the place inside that you know you have that love for yourself. be true to your unconditional love for yourself and know that through the practice that you are learning that you can free yourself of the obligation of the past an dthe pain associated with it.

anu said...

Yes Dr. Thank you.