Saturday, April 26, 2008

the chase?

whoever said the the chase is better than the catch isn`t a carnivore.


The Caped Misogynst. said...

Interesting. I have read your posts of late and the truly amazing comments that they have been attracting.

Do you realise that someone is trying to fuck up your chances with the april 30th girl?

dr.alistair said...

mr. misogynist, please explain.

The Caped Misogynist. said...

I get the impression that you are struggling to find a place of calm to ride out the storm of the next week or so and that someone who knows you and her both is trying to rattle you so that you do something that you will regret.
As in all conflicts the end game is the most difficult. In war it is the fog that clouds reason and results in senseless deaths. in business it results in panic decisions under the pressure of market changes, and in matters of the heart one`s emotions become overwhelming to the point where one will do anything to stop the pain.
Including those we most care about.
When in doubt, do nothing. It is the way of the warrior.
What is the motive of someone who would try to get between you?
jealousy, revenge, who knows.....
The clues are contained within the comments responding to your posting about the hawk.
The hawk seemed to hit a nerve in someone.
Dangerous times.

dr.alistair said...

i get a sense that someone is trying to tell me something, but i deal in objective reality as best i can.

until she tells me differently,my objective reality appears this way now.

she has promised herself to a married guy who says he will leave on april 30th.

i can`t cope with that situation so i withdrew.

i felt there was something odd about the april 30th tale but for someone to say such a thing still effects the relationship.

humans are complex creatures struggling to know the world and to a greater extent, themselves.

she and i are both one of those.

so, i have withdrawn, not because i don`t care, but because maybe i care too much for "modern" life.....and she will deal with whatever april 30th means to her on her own.

and she knows how to use a phone or e-mail or her voice. she knows where to find me.

what we had was special, unique and seems like a dream was so far back in time.

and she`s being manipulated also.

that much i know with certainty.

i`ve seen it first hand.

The Caped Misogynist said...

You took her away from someone who was close to her, not that she realised it. They were probably just friends in her mind....but this person is not your friend, or hers.


Anonymous said...

Just move on! Reading your past blogs you seem to be good at it!

Anyone who sets deadlines isn't worth it! That has been the way with my past experiences.

If you were really worth it she wouldn't think twice!

dr.alistair said...

good at it?


i have certain skillsets that,over time,allow me relief from what traditionally traps people in neuro-chemical feedback loops that some know as "love".

and i can`t comment on what she`s thinking frankly.

that would be unfair on her.

but thanks for your well meant advice. i have recieved tremendous support here throughout this period and i thank everyone who contibuted.

Anonymous said...

she made her choice, why settle for being anything less than #1, life is too short. Wait for miss right and let this one go. Don't settle for it. Even if this doesn't work out for her and she comes back to you, do you really want to be her second choice? Think about it! You're worth more than that, come on! Kick it to the curb and move on because better things await and you know this deep down don't you?

dr.alistair said...

yes i do. thank you.

this has all been a lesson in coping with my neuro-chemistry and the surging of what i characterise as emotion and try to put words to.

new words are forming, not out of judgement and blame, but out of love for myself.

all of yesterday was a message from the universe loud and clear.

so is today.

this moment.

and this.


Anonymous said...

I'm glad the universe is clearing a path for you. I think you know that there is a person out there made just for you, who will treat you the way you were supposed to be treated. I think you will be so relieved that this didn't work out when you find that right person. It's hard, I know, but just take each day as it comes knowing this to shall pass and you will be happy in the long haul. Enjoy this time of solitude knowing good things are to come!

dr.alistair said...

i agree. and there hasn`t been time for solitude so much as a lesson in discovering my own strength.