Thursday, May 01, 2008

closure?

i told her that i missed her hand in mine when we walked together.

she said she did too, but that she felt safer if we were just friends.

safer?

i can`t be angry, even though it would make things easier to deal with.

i can`t dare be sad, or it will just go on forever.

her words made my blood run cold, the way she was so indifferent.

how the fuck do we get this way?

5 comments:

Ricardo said...

I have had that indifference thrown in my face as well and it makes you wonder what her intentions were all along. Was it some kind of sick game?

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what level this relationship was in the past but it's obvious your feelings for her are far greater than her feelings are for you or ever were. You can accept the friendship or not, but it seems that's all she is willing to give. She's not the one! Get yourself out there and the right one may come walking on over.

dr.alistair said...

she told me that she couldn`t risk the feelings.....

she`s been hurt extremely badly in the past and isn`t prepared to face it now.

i accept that and it is closure.

i have to commend her for knowing herself enough to make a decision like that, though it leaves me numb today, but i can now have faith in my ability to recover.

thanks for your kind words through this.

ricardo, it may have had to be a game for her at the end only to cope with her decision, but it was real for a period.

she has the memories like i do.

X. Dell said...

I understand how you feel. In fact, it reminds me of a song by the Supremes.

dr.alistair said...

yeah x, it seems that there is a song for everything. i have heard the songs about every twist and turn of the last few months and i`m exhausted by it all right now.

the women i`m meeting now thankfully like zeppelin and megadeth.....

99 ways to dieeeeee.

and the one girl, though she likes to ride a bike for miles, likes to smoke a joint at the end....and i find that refreshing.....and the tattoo on her shoulder.

they help the healing.