so, here`s the thing...

i had these feelings for a woman that, when she left, made me feel like i was going to die.

and so i go and find another one to be with to see if it will stop the pain......and it does when i`m with her, but the moment i am fifty feet away from her, the pain returns.

but the one i met last night erased the slate entirely.

this morning i woke up and tried to access the pain, and it just flickered for a moment in my chest and stopped......as if it lost it`s will.

i`m not complaining in the least, but as a scientist i`m fascinated now at the pure neuro-chemical element of all of this.

is love a drug?

when i was on the drug of her the world was a place to play and live at first, but it quickly became something i desperately needed, like heroine, and i became a junkie....needing a fix and the world became dark and lonely and full of fear when she wasn`t around.

so i went cold turkey.

days of agony ensued.

and when i saw her occasionally the dependency rushed in, convincing me that i needed to get away from her.

i shake my head at the desperation of such a situation, and how it consumed my existance for months.

i know now how men stalk and beg and plead with women when they feel this way, not realising that the only answer is to go cold turkey.

you can`t beat an addiction by doing the drug.

but is replacing the drug with another one the answer?

it feels like it this morning.