Friday, September 07, 2007

returning to the mirror.

over time one realises that it is important to like what you see in the mirror.

i have written extensively here about unconditional love for the self and recieved criticism for my postion........but i will say that,over time, my unconditional love for myself has been what has got me past the bumps in the road.

over time one takes solice and great comfort in the image one sees in the mirror and confidence that the image one sees can be trusted and relied upon.

and that`s far better than some "self-esteem" created by popular psychology without any means toward getting it, or even defining the concept...........

so how does one get there?

it starts with a belief that it is possible to attain an absolute trust in the self.

no more lies or cheating or betrayal.

acceptance without judgement.

determination.

and hard work.

which we all do anyway without any real reward.

so the only new thing is including your own value for yourself and the integrity to claim it at every turn.

oh yeah, and one other thing.........

smile.

6 comments:

X. Dell said...

Hmm. You make it sound as though loving one's self is similar to loving another person. I wonder: if one loves one's self, but doesn't like one's self, would that also lead to "self-esteem" issues?

Just thinking out loud. Don't mind me.

dr.alistair said...

a semantic quibble.

loving one`s self is a necessary state if one is to begin to love someone else, or take responsibility for anything.

the "i love you but i don`t like you" position is one i don`t take seriously.

i posted extensively on this recently and fueled vigourous debate over obligation and conscience, two states that are created out of need, not love.

i`ll reiterate my position on these states in a seperate post.

and then there is the thorny "neediness".

BBC said...

Love...

Argh !!!

The only woman I know that is any good at that is Helen. You can have the rest of these dingbats.

I love myself, but I take myself with a grain of salt. Neither of us are important in the bigger picture.

You, you, you...

Speck of dust. :-)

dr.alistair said...

well, in and amongst the specks of dust there is some concern that things aren`t going as promised.

to me it is obvious why and so i go on and repeat myself with the observations about how we have pre-supposed and allowed others to dictate what we will do and feel about it all for long enough.

transactionally speaking, i`m calling the game in the hope that some will listen long enough to get it.

then we won`t be so quick to do things over again hoping for different results.

X. Dell said...

Well, there's the traditional notion of caritas that doesn't presume a taste for the object of love.

dr.alistair said...

the all-cosuming love for all humanity.

a second level ground rule of the game of catholicism.

charity.

the mother theresa game. a billion-handed game of i`m ok, you`re in deep shit.....

but i`m cynical.

see what christopher hitchens has to say about mother t.