Saturday, February 25, 2006

a lesson......

one of my clients came to a session excited because she had bought herself a new coat because she felt so good about herself.
it was a beautiful coat and it made her happy. she was smiling and filled up with pleasure.
that`s why it made it difficult to tell her the next thing.
out of loving ones self it is not about having things. we need a coat to keep us warm when it`s cold........
an act of unconditional love for one`s self would be to recognise that a coat is fine, but not today......
i`m o.k. without it.
and walking out of the store and watching as the feelings for a coat are replaced by the feeling that things really are alright.
the state of having a coat or not is totally seperate from loving one`s self unconditionally.
if it`s snowing outside, wear a coat.
buy a coat if you need one.
don`t buy a coat to feel good.
feel good unconditionally first.
it is the only thing.
a million coats are not going to warm a person without unconditional love for themselves.
it was a beautiful coat though........and she understood what i meant.

6 comments:

anu said...

Now i am much better. I go through these phases, like the one you saw yesterday, at that time i become so restless and desperate, but after a while my mind calms down and sometimes i wonder:"was that me, the one yesterday sobbing to sleep?" I strangely dont feel the pain today till it is triggerred by some event.

That is a great lesson dr.

Many a times i have resorted to do things just to feel better during the present moment to break certain patterns and cycles. Like i would join a class to learn painting, shop or go for a movie, just to keep busy so that i'm not depressed.

Are we saying here Dr, that no matter what we do to make ourselves 'feel better', through these methods, unless we keep practising to practice unconditional love for ourselves, these are just temporary ways to make us feel better?

I did the sitting exercise and i am going to do the witnessing exercise now, for connecting with myself and filling myself with unconditional love.

Dr do you realise, you are actually working on me through your posts and the replies to your comments. I know your time is precious. A psychotherapist i went to told me that in counselling their time is very precious.

Is there any way i can pay you for the consultation you are offerring ? Though i cannot afford a huge amount as i am still making something out of my life, i will certainly like to give what i have, for the kindness and affection with which you offer help and support on your blog.

dr.alistair said...

it is the moments that we choose to put together without pain and fear that we consider to be a life worth living. painting or walking or reading or spiritual practice are parts of this.......shopping too. you don`t necessarily have to buy something, unless you need to.
regarding payment, it is payment enough to know that there is one more soul released in the world. if for a moment.
we are all learning here.
freedom and growth occur together with others.
my work here with my clients in one thing, but i feel that there is a need to expand out and speak to others. those who couldn`t necessarily hear this otherwise.
payment. i would like to think that you could go forward and practice the joy in your life and touch others with some of the ideas. not as a crusade, but through quiet observations.......to people who will listen for a moment.
that, for me, is payment enough.

anu said...

And i will pay it forward even as i am making this journey Dr. :)

dr.alistair said...

unattach from the idea of payment.
at is all taken care of.........like the trees and mountains and everything else. our thoughts, our happiness, everything.
it has taken a great effort to stop the flow of abundance in our lives.
that is the tragic joke in all of this.
it takes massive amounts of energy to limit ourselves.
stop it.
you are begining to learn how...............

anu said...

Yup i think get it now, Dr. How every word we say reveals deeprouted beliefs in us, if only we are able to recognise it, we would be changing , every changing in every moment, wont we?

I am a financial modeller by profession. In finance we project the future of the company ..the revenues, costs and therefore the profits.

I wonder, whether we can ever project the magnificience of a human being, who is ever changing every moment in total awareness.

Imagine the growth of a human being who is constantly working on himself trying to be aware...his growth will be so boundless, beyond infinity, shatterring various fences, merging and mixing probabilities, making a choice out of multitudes in every moment and each choice making him different from what he was.

What a probabilistic model would that be Dr!!!

dr.alistair said...

frankly, i have always prefered definite models to probable models. it`s all definitely happening now. whenever we try to look into a future all we are ever going to get is probabilities.
just ask shroedinger`s cat(s).
without a doubt, the words we use and choose to use are evocations in a magical realm known as reality.
the movie, "what the bleep do we know" is an overview of the idea of perception as reality.
the definite model is the "proved" every moment you are in joy.
this joy is a signpost on your journey in the perpetual now of your life.
you will find yourself in a meeting having this thought and smiling.
you will recognise this in the smiles of others......the smiles in the eyes.