i am a control freak. i am constantly learning methods of control. i am looking for an edge wherever i can find it in the world, whether i`m on the soccer field, in consulting or with a guitar in my hand. these areas of my life are important to me and i want to be at my best when i`m doing them.
but wait a minute, there`s something missing in this descriptiion of behaviour, isn`t there?
in most discussions about control the focus eventually falls on other people. we want to learn tips and tricks about how to manipulate other people to do what we want because as a manager or a boss or a parent or a spouse that`s the job description, right?
every single instance of trouble in our lives comes when we get out of our own issues and try to control others.
the mechanisms of control are tried and true. they are well within common knowledge and they are well vilified because of it.
lawyers, ad executives salesmen and politicians are amongst the most hated of members of our society.
because they are master manipulators.
a lot of them don`t have particularly healthy private lives as a result.
there can be shown a direct correlation between manipulation of other people and mental health issues.
the cure is to stop the will to control others and deal with your own crap. then you can go into the world a nd be amongst people in a meaningful way without the need to gain from the relationship.
control you diet, control your exercise, control your education, control your thinking, control your responsibilities....but stay off others and let them get on with thier thing.
they`ll thank you for it and you`ll have more energy for the life you need to live.