two people dancing close need to have a leader and a follower. two leaders will trip eachother and two followers will stand there waiting for direction.
in the nlp relationship, the therapy session the client will eventually need to follow. before that happens the therapist needs to pace the attitude of the client initially. this is the "rapport" phase of the session. in my last post i discussed a covert pacing mechanism to illustrate the strength of this process. the strength of the leading is equally powerful in helping people change behaviour. it installs new internal structures in the client in a covert fashion while the conscious rational brain is listening to conversation.
this pacing and leading process happens between all people all the time. there is never a time when one person is at rest in the process.......unless you are so unattached to the conversation that it`s unimportant. in which case what`s the point to having the conversation in the first place.
the general rule in nlp is lead, lead, pace. this means calibrate the internal structure of the client, wait for a period, re-calibrate to structure and then once established again then begin to introduce new paced internal structures of breathing, eye movement, vocal speed, inflection and tone, body movement and gestures and even changes in your own blood pressure. this will hype the client up and anchor the new feelings to his body.
this process is part of the reason why we just naturally like being around certain people.
they just make us feel good.