Monday, April 27, 2009

and.....

don`t go to mexico either, because they are all wearing surgical masks down there....well, at least the nuns in the picture i saw in the newspaper were....

strange.

do you think the surgical mask people have something to do with this?

please don`t come to canada.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/swine_flu_travel_to_cda

there are a number of other reasons not to come to canada but i can`t tell you what they are because that wouldn`t be politically correct....and we are nothing if we aren`t that. here. now.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

don`t go to romania.

recently my girlfriend`s daughter and her friend took a trip to europe. the girl is eighteen and though there is the sual trepidation one has for young girls traveling alone, the first week of thier journey went without a hitch.

they landed in amsterdam and then went to germany and austria briefly before taking the train to budapest where her father`s family is from.

from there they wanted to briefly see romania for some reason before getting to why they really wanted to go to europe....the greek islands.

so they planned to board the train to romania but were dragged off forceably at the last minute by a woman yelling at them to keep away from the gypsies....

the next train they boarded was apparently gypsy free, but as soon as the train pulled out a man positioned himself outside thier compartment and began a litany of suggestions and threats that my own disgust makes me refrain from typing.

once off the train they found what they thought was a cab, but the man proceeded to drive them out into the country and held them ransom for an amount approximating $600 canadian.

if this wasn`t an account coming from my girlfriend regarding her daughter i would have discounted the story as being a tale worthy of a bad hollywood revenge movie.......not unlike the film taken, with liam neeson, miscast as an action hero in which his daughter is abducted and forced into prostitution by gypsies.

ironically my girlfriend and i watched the thing a couple of weeks ago.

anyway, in summation one can rage against the police in romania or travel authorities or whomever for not warning the girls , but i can only thank the woman who forceably got them off the first train or they might have found themselves in a scene from the film we watched.

and the police? they would have wanted a share for the money.

how do i know this? i have a friend who moved here from romania 15 years ago who told me that her family hid from the police if they saw them for fear of a shakedown, or worse, depending on the officer`s mood.

in canada we live in a coddled little bubble where our major bookseller chapters refuses to carry the book dangerous places by robert pelton. instead they carry bright, shiny tomes promising a welcome to young tourists with canadian patches on thier back-packs.....come to eastern europe and experience the nomadic tribes people of slavic descent with thier rich heritage of cooking, dance and wine.

they are off to greece next where i feel they`ll fair somewhat better, unless they take another taxi-ride into the countryside of another non-anglo-saxon country.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

oh yeah, and....

....people are smarter than rats right?

well rats don`t break into a lab in the middle of the night to run the maze even though there is no cheese.

clearly.

clearly we seem to resonate more with the shit in the world than with that which could make us feel good....though maybe focusing on shit makes people feel good....but i can`t include myself in that group.

put twenty rats in a 100 square foot room with food and water and they will get along and avoid eachother for the most part.


fifty rats in the same closed environment will form small groups and be wary of others.

a hundred rats will engage in small-scale scurmishes over food, females and territory.

a hundred and fifty rats will tear eachothers balls off and eat thier own young......

if you can clearly see a hundred rats/people from where you sit; move.

earth day.

did you buy a t-shirt?

did it save anything?

no. it made someone money.

our grocery store is now providing plastic bags....you have to buy them for 5 cents each.

or...you can buy an eco-bag for 95 cents.

large corporations exist to exist, and by doing so they make you give them money.

either you recieve something you think you need, such as a product or service, or if the corporation gets big enough, they can make the government make a law forcing you to give the money to them....whether you like or need the product or service or not.

our local newspaper is delivered here weekly. it`s a big brick of a thing. once you take out all the retail ads it shrinks down to a few pages about civic policy, missing cats and junior sport.

this is polution. visually, physically and psychically. when the flyers come you must buy something...for the garden, or the house, or the patio.....

the same corporations who are making us guilty for consumption must, to survive, force us to consume.

or they are not going to survive.

the landfills are full of thier efforts and the eforts of us manipulated by them.

without them we would consume less and the things we would consume would be less harmful to our rivers, fields and lakes.

and there would be less of us too.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

on a more positive note.......

......i understand that you are mostly confused about um, everything. money, sex, politics, religion, spirituality...etc, and i know what you are thinking, "what the fuck does this guy know that i don`t"?

well...the answer is that i find a way back to happiness.....by choice.

deliberately.

in spite of all the reasons to be depressed and anxious and dissapointed about just about everything, i find myself enjoying life just about every day, and enthusiastic about what lies ahead.

some of what i`m going to say next will seem familiar, some of it will seem somewhat different.....and some of it will seem impossible.

it is nonetheless the way things are.

1)if you keep ddoing the same old thing, you will get more of the same old thing in response.

2)if you watch tv and read newspapers you will learn new ways to be fat and stupid and dissapointed every day. there is always someone brighter and shinier and fresher and richer than you being featured and photographed having a whale of a time while our taxes go up and our property values go down and our kids are being shown how to smoke dope in public while we cling to our shit jobs with our finger tips.......

....see what i mean?

3)cut your food intake in half and don`t eat anything after 7.30pm.

4)smile at a stranger at least once a day. that means a new stranger. every day. and smile more to yourself while you work and walk and drive and ride. find shit to smile about. search stupid jokes on the internet if you have to. just smile more often. it`ll become a habit pretty soon and people will smile back, i promise.

5) exercise a little. not like me, i`m freak. some sort of obsessive/compulsive about soccer, weights, cycling and hiking..but maybe you might find yourself doing something you never thought possible....really soon.

6) get a cat. unless you are allergic or travel for a living, in which case the cat would get lonely. cats are really relaxing, sleek, sensual creatures that, if you mirror thier behaviour, will turn you into a relaxed, sensual, sleek creature yourself.

don`t get a cat if you are a demanding control freak who needs absolute obedience from your pets. a cat will show you it`s ass and you will get angry.

my cat completely owns my girlfriend`s cocker-poo (don`t ask) the stupid dog just follows the cat around waiting for it to move quickly so that it can try to catch him....at which time the cat goes into hyperdrive and as far as the dog is concerned, vanishes.

very amusing.

7) right now, get out of your chair and jump up and down and yell fuck at the top of your lungs for a minute or so.

8) and tomorrow, because i believe it`s eath day, resist the urge to do anything that is supposed to save the planet. for fuck`s sake think for yourself for a minute. what could we possibly do to "save" a giant ball of cooling metal that is whizzing through space at 60,000 miles an hour?

let`s start thinking about saving ourselves.....

emotionally.

financially.

physically.

spiritually.

sexually.

9)give yourself a break, go get laid, flirt with your wife or girlfriend or husband or boyfriend...or go find someone new to flirt with.

do this now.

ok, that`s 9 things. i will post the tenth one if i get some reposes to this.

now, go outside. that`s enough sitting indoors staring at a little screen in a dark room.

and by the way, if you did number 7, i love you man.....

Monday, April 20, 2009

4.20

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/ad/edmsun-090420-canada-all_ready_to_toke_up

there is a reason why it`s called dope.

as a parent i am concerned that my children will get the impression that it is ok to get stoned and be cool like musicians and other "celebrities" who advocate confusing your brain.

it is tough enough to get an education and find employment, but to encourage youth to get stoned and try to get through school is merely wrong.

one can speak all you want about free speech and freedom of expression, but that`s exactly what i`m doing right now......and unless you are stoned you can see my position.

and 4.20 is hitler`s birthday and that of the mother of my children.

ironic.

Friday, April 17, 2009

i have followers......

welcome officially to hypgnosys. i know you guys have been reading on and off for a while, and i`ve been doing the same, but it`s nice to see the faces appear in the window.

cheers.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

posting for posting`s sake....

i haven`t posted here recently......"no shit" you say....well, i haven`t had much to say as i`m increasingly dissapointed at the level of stupidity, self-centeredness, paranoia and craftiness of people.

i guess i`m finally growing up and realising that i`ve been niave all these years believing that people would actually adhere to moral and ethical codes.

oh well.

so; what to do today. what to comment on. what to be digusted/dissapointed at......?

when i began to write this blog i felt that people might be interested in some good news about how to take on positive attiudes and find enjoyment in life. but as i cruise around the blog nighbourhood i find that the peole with the most members and commentors are those that trade in the anguish and despair.

so i will reconcile myself to the fact that people are generally rat-faced liars that would stab you as soon as look at you but for fear of getting caught, and i take consolation in the fact that i have a few friends who i can trust and a good woman who i can fall asleep with at night and share my niavety with and not be betrayed.

she said to me today that she forgives those who treated her like shit.....and i said a year ago i would have been threatened by that statement coming from her.....but now i understand that she didn`t say she would forget, trust or recommend them. she merely stopped letting it bother her that people are generally rat-faced liars....and she plays dumb in the midst of thier subterfuge.

like my dad said "give them enough rope...."

people aren`t virtuous or moral or ethical. just afraid.

and that makes them dangerous.

is that a depressing thought?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

you can`t make this shit up.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/090320/oddities/russia_us_advertise_racism_offbeat

Thursday, March 19, 2009

hey al.....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090319/ap_on_sc/as_tonga_volcano


we should pass a law outlawing volcanos....y`know, for the environment`s sake.

message to joey.

i found and posted your comment regarding evolution.......but i cannot, for the life of me, find the co-responding post......

my apologies joey, i would love to discuss evolution, trans-humanism, upoading consciousness, etc.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

ok, well.....um.

http://ca.autos.yahoo.com/p/1274/windsor-auto-workers-seize-shuttered-plant

at a time when the money supply has been limited and millionaire ceos are being vilified for thier greed, there are those who`s intellect won`t allow them the capacity to actually survive. thier self-destructive tendancies have allowed them to be manipulated by union leaders for generations, and now that the promises made have been broken, all they can do is continue to do damage.

the middle class was artificially created by unions and now is being equally destroyed......

....along with it the middle-class entitlement.

interesting times boys and girls.

Monday, March 16, 2009

nutcase.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090315/ap_on_re_us/sla_olson


here is someone without remorse for what she did. she is being released after serving minimal time for bombing people for some thin veneer of an excuse that she was making a political statement. much like peta members or radical feminists, who use some extreme moral or ethical stance to act out on thier psychopathic tendancies.

that is the face of a person ready to do similar things again.

Friday, March 13, 2009

wtf?

stole the shot from k9. couldn`t resist.

moral convenience.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20090313/us_time/08599188495600

people`s morals are personally convenient.

aparently california`s is too.

Friday, March 06, 2009

seems to me.....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090306/media_nm/us_digitaltv


....as if some don`t care about where all those big old tvs are going to end up.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

there is a hill.

there is a hill, and there is a will.

the hill stands before you and you are free to sit and stare.......or you can begin to ride.

as you ride you think. about what is happening. about the pain. the ache. the pressure on your chest as air becomes difficult to get to your lungs........the burning in your legs and your shoulders and hands as you fight to keep the bike upright and moving.

and the hill stands mute.

then you remember who you are and why you are here.

and you smile.....because that blue sign that waits at the top of the hill is yours.

by sheer act of will.

you are stronger than you think.

you are a survivor.

you win.

not the hill.

nor the cold.

nor anything else for that matter.

you.

will.

win.

the sign says welcome to waterdown.

yeah.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

tired.

i was prerty tired when i posted that last post. i had just finished moving and looking at unpublished criticisms from the last few months pissed me off.

i suppose i should have published them as per my mission statement, but some things have to just fade away without further encouragement.

otherwise they persist....

......and i really want to just move on.

sorry. i stand corrected.

i am moving. on.

and i stand by the statements i made.

Monday, March 02, 2009

spys......

i used to have software that old me all sorts of info about who viewed my blog and at what time etc. it was really useful in a benign way as i was hosting a website for my business at the time and was interested in how my ads were getting hits when i was promoting seminars.....

.....anyhow, i would be curious who visits my site locally....other than my friends, of course.

i`m really not that interesting. mind your own business.

i now what you are saying, don`t publish personal info on the web...but that`s similar to saying don`t walk and talk in public in 2009, isn`t it?

i am happy to have successfully moved past a particularly difficult period in my life and would like those people who involved themselves adversarily during that period to mind thier own business from this period onwards.

ok?

good.

now we return to the regularly scheduled sarcasm.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

insulting.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090220/world/us_obama_visit

americans need to become more aware of the place where many who voted for thier new president live.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

environmentalism etc.....

in conversation the other day with a friend of mine`s daughter, she expressed her desire to help save the world in a number of ways. this position is admirable if not misguided, but when espoused by someone who holds themselves out as intelligent, educated and reasonable bothers me for a number of simple reasons.

firstly, the world needs no saving.

it may become incapable of sustaining life as we know it at some point, but there is very little we can do to effect change on this giant cooling ball of molten iron spinning through the vacuum of space.

secondly, she said she wants to build a home that will do less to damage the environment.

i told her not to build a new one at all, but to apply her own strategy and recycle.

buy an old one.....

her ego couldn`t get around that one.

if we stop building new homes and new cars and recycle the old ones, we would do a significant amount to reduce the stress that making things causes.

but we would lose jobs....but that`s a seperate issue.

the girl`s really just another consumer in disguise, needing a high moral position to justify her need to have a new car and a big new (morally sound) home.

thirdly........we are buying bigger cars again because we need safe comfortable trasportation for our families. would you want the wife and kids in a "smart" car racing trucks at 70 mph on the highway?

i didn`t think so.

and how do we reduce the amount of cars on the road.

stop living in suburban ghettos miles from shops and schools.

live closer to things and walk or take the bus.

if you care to reduce the use of things.

otherwise stop fooling yourself into thinking that you want to save the world to justify your consumer choices.

what you really want is a high paying job in the emerging green industry, and you will probably get there once you get your mba and your doctorate in environmental politics.

and one day we`ll have this conversation again.

Monday, February 16, 2009

family day.

here in ontario today we are experiencing family day. it is a day where people are encouraged to stay home and spend time at home with loved ones.

and the shops are shut.

starbucks is shut.

the mall is shut.

so literally we are forced to sit in close quarters with people who are also bored and tired and stressed from an unexpected change in thier routines due to our provincial leader`s gladhanding of the state of the modern family........

....let the games begin.

update;

so we went bowling. glow-in-the-dark bowling. and i learned a few things.

firstly, my children have played this game before. secondly, my girlfeind has played this game before. a lot. and thirdly, though the shoes leave lots to be desired, i had lots of fun.......even though those little pins take all you have and still remain standing.

personally, i don`t need an act of the provincial legislature to know when to spend time with my family, but it was refreshing to be able to have a time set aside specifically for people like myself, who still believe in family and want to do things with them for no reason other than it feels good.

even though we had to wear those shoes.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

we are one.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

lloyd pye re-visited

http://www.lloydpye.com

an interesting read for those with questions about evolution vs. creationism, and aren`t afraid to actually think for one`s self.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

evolution.

this morning someone commented that we "anti-evolution" people are wrong. i posted the comment, then realised that the comment was to a post from quite some time ago....and i have no idea where the post of origin lies.

otherwise i would love to rejoin the debate.

in fact, let`s debate the point.

did humans evolve?

here`s my position.

no.

we are a frail, hairless, slow bipedal hominid, with a natural propensity for technology....which we are developing.

it seems as if we are helping technology to evolve.....if anything can be said to evolve, as we remain absolutely and exactly the same.

we are best suited to comfortable condo living with high-speed digital telecommunication devices to banter with our tribe around the world.

and by the way, darwin was refering to the evolution of traits within a species. the differerence between beaks and claws and wing sizes of galapagos island finches.

not a monkey changing into a man.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

argh......

i lost cell phone service for less than 24 hours and i thought i was going to die, and i learned that cell phones cannot swim........they also commit suicide.

i swear the little bugger jumped off the sink and into the tub, but i could be wrong.

anyhow, i went to telus.....my service provider, and they diagnosed the poor thing by inserting a probe up it`s ass (maybe cell-phone providers are abducting people too.....) and declared it to be dead. interesting that all the other aspects of the device worked fine. address book, dialing, photo album, etc. just the telecom bit.

oh well.

it was early evening by the time i got to telus and i had a soccer game late on, so i waited until today to call customer service to ask for a replacement.



i managed to get a store credit for $50, but was assured the cheapest phone was $79.95....

i took the credit and went to the same store this morning and talked to the same girl and she tried to sell me a $199. phone.

i told her i had the credit and that i wanted thier service credit, allowing me to get the phone at no further cost, so that i could continue to give them money each month to keep the economy going........

she made a call and pulled a few faces and then said that she could offer me the phone i have now at no cost (actually the $50 credit which i had already obtained for customer loyalty.)

she then said they have a non-negotiable fee of $25+ taxes but that i could call customer services and have them credit my account....

so i`m going to get them to also re-credit me for the $50 which the salesgirl gently lifted from me as i basked in the glory of my new cell phone.

phew.

i`m tired just typing the story.

the lesson here is that large corporations are compartmentalised....which supposedly allows control from the top.

but if you know what you are doing and keep asking for the same thing in different ways......

.....sometimes you can actually get what you need.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

american idol.

shit.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

2009

well, here we are once again begining a new year.....and i have little to say to mark the occasion other than to say what i always say; whatyouseeiswhatyouget.

seeing is believing.

you always hit the last thing you look at.

and so on.

you don`t need me to tell you to have a good year, you`ve already decided what type of year to have.....so i`d be wasting my time.

but i hope you`ve decided to make it a good one, nonetheless.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

mildly political

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/081230/usa/us_politics_race_obama_republicans

i would have voted for sharpton.

just for fun........

Friday, December 26, 2008

personal vs.political.

personal is real, political is metaphysical......or imaginary.

that`s why there are no political solutions, only personal ones, done by real people with thier own efforts.

so next time, don`t vote......act.

voting feeds politicians.

taking action effects change.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

abundance.

abundance is all there is.

there is no lack save for that we decide there is in our lives.

i know you want to prove me wrong, but that`s your own trip.....the fact remains that there is so much of everything piled up here that some people can`t step back far enough to be able to see it.

ever wonder why some have more than others?

it`s about the pictures they show themselves.

see?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

merry consumerist spasm.

for without it we wouldn`t have an economy........

jeez.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

from manufacturing to service to..........

the prevailing buzz amongst analysts is that we are at the end of the manufacturing age in north america, and i tend to agree.

the analysts speak of us entering a service economy wherein we will all be gainfully employed in providing a service of some sort......

...everything from baby-sitting to counceling to sales.

cool.

except that money (capital) is moving so quickly these days that the service jobs are being taken by new immigrants, or outsourced overseas......as anyone who has spoken to a call-in service department recently will understand.

and with the emerging next economy involving total connectivity and information management, only those with a complete understanding of this technology and administration will be able to capitalise.

so it begs the question......

....doesn`t it?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

economics.

as we enter into this uncertain economic time, i want to explore something that i have noticed recently.

i was looking for a bread knife, the type with the long serated blade, so that i could cut bagels without squashing them.........and so i looked at prices in the shops.

i found some really nice ones.

$100.

i found some adequate ones.

$50.+

i found some serviceable ones.

$25.

in a shop called homesense they sell domestic products from bedsheets to carpets to frying pans, and while there i found a nice breadknife reduced from $24.95 to $14.95 and so i felt had i had the best value and took the knife home and gleefully cut bagels.......

a few days later i was in the dollar store (everything for a dollar.) and saw the identical knife, without the attendant glossy packaging and rhetoric, for A DOLLAR.

i returned the pricey one and i continue to enjoy crisp cut and un-squashed bagels .

my point?

mall retail cannot afford to continue to sell the same products for 15 times the price in an economic atmosphere such as this. the type of person that deliberately pays for the more expensive version can only indulge themselves for a short period longer.

when both retailers are buying the knife from the same distributor, it`s only a matter of time before the game becomes obvious to all but politicians and professors of economics, and people will "vote" with thier money........and more shops will have to close thier doors....or drop prices, and hope hier customers forgive them thier gouging.

we have been enjoying this false prosperity since the end of the second world war, and it is clear to most that this process is winding down, and that manufacturing salaries are disappearing in whole numbers even though the politicians are scrambling to enact bailouts.

this will only prolong the process, and give people false hope of a recovery into high-paying union protected jobs in industry once this is "over".

the truth is that we hve slowly but surely been evolving into a service sector economy, providing management, accounting, sales and so on.......and so, if you are looking at re-training or this is your first step into the employment field, then learn some skills in those areas.

or emigrate.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

gratitude.....

....it comes down to this; be grateful, it just feels good.

studies have shown that the process of being grateful, speaking, writing and otherwise processing gratitude, released brain chemicals that make us feel good.

so here is my induction into feeling good.

i am grateful for a long list of things, and i will list a few of them here.

friends.

little dogs.

my children.

my health.

the perfect shot.

community.

recognising.

the look of love in her eyes.

the look of love in her eyes.

the look of love in her eyes.

talent.

skills won hard through practice.

the on-going second chance that life offers.

......there, i feel better now.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

and......

......how about a day where nobody discusses sexual orientation of any sort at all?

but now i`m being insensitive.....

i um, oh fuck it....

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=4226712&cl=11042064&src=news


we are entering the final days.

for years i thought the religious zealots were just a bunch of loonies, and well, that view hasn`t changed.....but when i hear people taking this shit seriously i think the fundies might have a point.

Monday, December 08, 2008

quiet recently.

and so the posts have been few and far between.

having said that, i find the break from posting and commenting elsewhere has allowed me to refresh my view with regard to the whole mechanism of blogging and opinion and so on.......

.....so thanks for your readership and sharing whatever happens next.

cheers.

Monday, November 24, 2008

i love stupid people.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/081124/odds/odd_us_china_panda


i just wanted to cuddle? fuckwit.

ok, so where did this dim bulb get the idea that the panda would actually be up for a cuddle?

pictures of pandas and representations of pandas in stories and conversations.

in other words..........

the ideas of others.

like a map.

not reality.

too often we are responding to maps, and not checking for the reality.

pandas are a type of bear by the way. a bear stoned on eucalyptus, but a bear nonetheless......and if we stop to think for a minute, we realise that bears are really big, strong predators, that have the potential to hurt and kill weak, hairless, slow-moving hominoids.

so kiddies, the next time you get the idea that what looks like a cartoon character might appreciate your "human" touch; think twice......dumbass, or we`ll have yet another news story to laugh outloud at.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

why?

why does this message of unconditional love for the self persist?

because if not, we would die.

this message is the essence of uor existance.

if we try hard enough we can shout it down, we can drug it or make it physically or mentally sick, or we can become so goal-driven that we exhaust ourselves and are doing nothing but working or sleeping.

and even then the spirit persists and even if we stop for a moment, the voice whispers still.

we then begin to realise just how hard it is to not unconditionally love one`s self.

but the un-merry-go-round still spins.......until we choose to step off.

why?

time out.

it is necessary to take time out occasionally to remove one`s self from the mainstream of culture, society, family, business, career and everything else that demands our attention....so that we can tune in to the inner voice that has quietly been trying to get our attention for some time.

this voice has been with us all of our lives, through thick and thin, saying the same thing over and over.

i love you. i always will.

this voice has had to compete with every single amplified screaming noise that modern life provides, and we have hemmed ourselves into a box and arranged surround-sound systems to blast more of these sounds at us from the moment we wake each day.

but the quiet voice persists.

sit quietly sometime away from the racket, up on a hillside or deep in a cave perhaps, or sitting on your couch breathing deeply and letting the noises go

Friday, November 14, 2008

for ricardo..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv4f6xH-OwM

it may not seem real, but it is the way things are.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

rememberance day.

a time to remember those who died for our right to say the most outragious things about anything we want to using the most sophisticated technology ever imagined.......

so be grateful for those who payed the ultimate price, not by buying a poppy necessarily, but by understanding that occasionally war is the only option.

when we aren`t too busy trying to save the planet of course.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

about time......

... i posted something.

ok, so we have a new president.

did you notice how little a deal it really is, or are you waiting for the music to begin and the curtain to rise on a different world?

so, once again, we are given the opportunity to see that everything isn`t political.

unless you are a control freak.

in which case getting "your guy" into office is critical.

me? i`m just doing the same shit.

breathing in and out. thinking. shaking my head at the futility. the abject boredom. the bankrupcy. the tiresome sameness of people`s expectation that things will change....even though they personally do nothing at all to effect such a change.

the only way things change is if we make them change.

voting once every four years isn`t doing it folks.

unless you are looking for a reason to be disappointed until it`s time to vote again.

look at hockey for instance.

the team does shit for a month and the coach and manager get fired.

maybe we should do that with presidents.

it won`t do much to change things either, but it would be more fun to watch.

because it is entertainment after all.

did you ever wonder why more and more pundits are comedians?

Friday, October 24, 2008

even in second life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNOAR3jztrM

and maybe in first life, if you try...........

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thursday, October 16, 2008

pat condell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-KHHKuVVRc

as a communicator i struggle to say difficult things with the clarity of this man.

thanks to youtube and blogger i can now allow pat to speak for me on the thorny issue of the islamification of the west.

enjoy.....and please, once you have watched, let me know what you think.

cheers.

not suitable to watch....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwooM4yhiiY&feature=related


......if you work in a church.

when you`ve finished laughing, be good boys and girls and leave a comment.

thanks.

flying mince.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdNqUW5wwTE

NOT suitable to view at work.

good advice about diet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuUpShuC5dY

and don`t be offended by the fucking swearing.

Monday, October 06, 2008

unconditional.

i`d like to dedicate this to ms.q.

unconditional.

that means without conditions.

like...all the time.

that`s how i set out to write this blog some years ago when i realised the relationship with the mother of my children was falling apart.

and how i realised that i could love myself.

unconditionally.

accepting.

realising.

loving and supporting.

because i knew truths about myself that were good and bad. and accepted that i`d got this far in this state and that i could experience love and devotion....i learned this through becoming a father........and that the world that i didn`t want to bring children into for most of my adult life had this ability to be ok once i began to accept and love myself unconditionally.

so it all comes back to this; once we find a way to unconditionally love ourselves, then others are left to face thier own decisions about themselves (or not....) and our lives change.

we stop putting ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable, or worse...and we put less obligation on others, and let them do thier thing and accept that too.

meeting others expectations a challenge?

then stop.

and sit back and watch the damage that expectations can cause....and just accept and love yourself.

others can then choose to do that too.

and you will be suprised at who comes and who goes from your life.

i feel like preaching a bit this afternoon so forgive me, or not, as i type away about what i feel is the most important practice we can take up on our journey through whatever it is we are journeying through in our conscious awareness.

oh yeah, and be prepared for the consquences of such a self-indulgent act. some will get hostile when you refuse to feed thier disagreement.

one of the first challenges i met in blogging was the power of disagreement.

people would openly challenge my posts and comments with all manner of comments in return, that, if we had been face-to-face, would have been too confrontational.

it took some adjustment on my part and a new-found confidence in my position to continue on typing and posting....to the point where i discovered that i really did love, not only myself, but how i said what i said.

and so i come full circle to begining to post once again about the unconditional love for the self.

also called not taking shit.

try it for a day or two and watch eyebrows fly.

Friday, October 03, 2008

no shit sherlock.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/081001/us/usreport_us_cereal_sugar_1

"kellogs are working to make thier cereals more nutritious."

bullshit.

if they managed people wouldn`t eat them.

oatmeal, or as we called it as kids, porridge, is a dense, low glycemic food that is equally good for men and for horses......and as any horse owner will tell you......he ain`t feeding morning star lucky charms.

the majority of commercially available cereals are only as nutritious as the milk you drown them in, and your are better off eating the box they came in as they provide many minerals, oils and types of fibre not found in the nutitionally inert consumer product inside.

many of my weight-loss clients struggle with their wieght simply because the makers of these products lie to them, and while people try to limit caloric intake, the body needs nutrition from the calories ingested.

you would have to eat an entire box of special k, for example, to get enough protien and carbohydrate in a useable form to make it to lunch........

.......so people struggle in agony all morning and over eat at lunch.......or struggle further in cognitive deficit until supper and then devour whatever is available then.

and continue to eat late into the evening, because the bodies natural tendancy is to eat when real food is available.

stomachs don`t lie.

eat oatmeal in the morning and have a salad for lunch and a sandwich and fruit for supper.

and wake up hungry.

repeat.....and live lean and strong with energy all day.

and stop getting diet advice from commercials.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

some logic required.

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/va/20081001/122289041500.html

firstly, mr.lee is not being criticized on how he makes a film, but on the factual content within the work......and secondly, mr.lee doesn`t make films that aren`t going to get "special" attention.

lee deliberately takes on subjects that promote issues of race, which he has a right to do, and has made a fine living at it.

having said that, i`m not contending that i have any knowledge whatsoever of what happened.

i will leave that to the experts.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Tipler#The_Omega_Point

i have posted this previously, but one thing i realised is that someone or something had to build the damned thing in the first place.....unless it just compiled it`s self automatically.

the scientists say we all evolved out of the first protoplasmic organisms coming from mud, and the religious say we are a divine creation coming form god.

niether really says much about what went before.

so.

the question remains.

what went before all of this.

what was before the big bang...............and what did it bang into?

proof positive.

we find ways to make what we believe become a reality.

look around you and see what you`ve created......every second of your conscious existance.

Monday, September 29, 2008

the cold arrives.

yesterday it was warm and humid, and today it`s cold and just damp.

my knees are telling me that winter is on the way and that i should be thinking about getting my mountain bike ready in the next few weeks as the road bike weather is passing quickly.

oh yeah....and it`s time to price out oil heaters for the apartment. last year i used the oven to heat the place too many times.

but i do love apartment living though........except the fuckwit who keeps taking my shit out of the dryer.

bring back the death penalty for that one i say.

Friday, September 19, 2008

week-end.

hope everyone has a great weekend, taking advantage of what could be the last of the summer heat.

i h ave finally turned the corner on this summer flu, or whatever the hell it was, and i`m lookng forward to getting back to focused training and competition, as the play-offs are here in both my soccer leagues.

i will be back to posting on a more regular basis when i find a deal on a laptop, so that i can post from home and spend abit more time researching my points and following the links on your sites at my leasure. the distractions at the library get to be too much here.

silly me, i thought libraries were supposed to be QUIET!

btw, if anyone local has a laptop for sale let me know.

cheers.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

we forget.......

.....that we can show ourselves a picture or two, of some of our favorite things, and in an instant we become tranceformed......(transformed.)

try this now.

go to youtube and search for a video that will thrill you.

once you have watched the video, spend a few moments remembering how you felt while you watched it, what you saw, what you felt, what you said to yourself while you watched.

amplify what you saw, what you felt, and what you heard yourself say to yourself....to the point where you can barely stand to do it anymore.

fell better?

i thought so.

repeat when necessary.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

flu.

or something like it.

for the last six weeks or so i have been experiencing flu-like symptoms that have gone from sinus conjestion to the guts and back.

i believe the immune deficit began with mosquito bites while camping, something i rarely do, and so the effect of so many bites overwhelmed my natural ability to deal with such foriegn matter in my system. i would have been fiine but we ran out of repellent on the last day and so while packing to leave i was bitten hundreds of times and by the time we had driven 200 miles home i was already feeling the effects.

i can understand now how things like westnile virus can kill older people and those already ill.

we live in such a sheltered place in suburbia that any time we venture out into the wild away from airconditioning and starbucks we run the risk of exposure to things that can threaten out very existance.

i will have to take more repellant next time.

Monday, August 25, 2008

http://www.amazon.com/Cult-Amateur-Internet-Killing-Culture/dp/0385520808

one of the most amusing books i`ve read in quite a while.

in it the author finds fault in the prolifieration of myspace, youtube, facebook and blogging sites that allow "amateurs" to post and publish thier own works to share, and suggests this is the end of a functioning culture, and that somehow there will no longer be quality work done by experts as a result.

a little digging will find that the author is a internet tycoon himself and his venture, audiocafe, failed.....

so instead of trying again he writes a hostile criticism of the entire internet culture.

if mr.keen was truly concerned and interested in where culture is heading he would have read a variety of works, many of which are known by experts and amateurs alike as predicing precisely where culture is today.

i will suggest he start with marshall mcluhan, a man who never lived to see youtube, but predicted that it had to happen once society found the means to make it happen.

the author`s society of experts is also manifesting it`s self in meatspace...and his honour guard of lawyers, doctors and other bureaucrats are driving up prices to the point where the cost of everything will be out of reach of everyone but the elite, and us mere amateurs will need a certification to walk down the street.

http://andrewkeen.typepad.com/

here is andrew fully availing himself of a variety of free internet services that only exist on the backs of the desire of amateurs to communicate, for whatever reasons they have. a touch hypocritical..........

i wonder if his content is posted on youtube.

umbass.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

jeez.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080821/sc_livescience/studylargeearthquakecouldstrikenewyorkcity

y`know somewhere in the toolbar there is probably a button whereby i can make the letters in this post really big so that i can yell the headline of this yahoo article at you all....but i can`t be bothered at this point.

reading all these awful things has tired me to the point of despondancy.

and i don`t even watch tv.

a large earthquake could hit new york city.

expert scientists say so.

same ones that say the ice caps are melting and we are going to be growing palm trees soon.

good. i hate the cold and the snow and the cold.

did i mention i hate snow?

the tires on my bike are only an inch wide.

do you know how hard it is to ride through snow with tires that narrow?

i ride a bike so that i can single handedly thwart the rampant rise in global temperatures so that we will continue to see snowy winters for the next thousand years.

wait a minute.

my tires are only an inch wide.

what am i thinking.......

whit powder, threats?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080821/pl_nm/usa_politics_mccain_threat_dc

hmmm, i wonder if that would work with the ex?

no. never mind. forget i said that.........

question.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080821/ap_on_sc/sci_greenland_glaciers

apparently scientists themselves admit they know that this process in unstoppable.........so why the agitation to raise taxes to "stop" global warming?

fat guy.....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080821/ap_on_fe_st/odd_barbie_fishing_record

......murders a defenseless creature with a child`s toy, while traumatizing his daughter.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

proof.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080811/od_afp/switzerlandoffbeatart

this just proves it. i just know it does......i just forget what.

Monday, August 04, 2008

a recommendation.

see the movie "michael clayton" with george clooney. it deals with the bureaucracy in the only way humanly possible; by telling the truth........

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

hey al......

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/fossilsuggestsantarcticamuchwarmerinpast

sssssh, algore`s sleeping..........and if he wakes and hears us giggling about all this he`ll try to get a law passed whereby it will be illegal to point out the obvious about the present global temperature increase.

he wants us all to be impressionable school kids (and teachers...) who will golly-gee him to death with his flash movie and dry dead-pan delivery.

and utter bullshit.

or, maybe real scientists without political agendas are just wrong.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

hitrate.

there are those amongst the blogging community that feel that a hitrate is a valued commodity......and that a constant flood of comments somehow validates thier personal insight into the world at large.

while this position has some validity when the information provided in the blog has some real-world utility, most blogs are a community of like-minded souls sharing and re-agreeing with eachother`s position.

in this state most blogs are reminiscent of a good morning coffee with the lads at starbucks.

but to think that your popularity in the search engines is because your writing is somehow new or interesting to anyone else but your friends or about ready to instigate the charge against "the man" is missing the point of blogging entirely.........

and if your writing was helping you to evolve into a modern-era che guevara then it would just help the "man" to find your subversive ass.

oh, and sorry if the odd spelling error sends you into a perceptional tailspin. perhaps reading isn`t your thing.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

cnn style debate.

the media teaches us to choose sided prior to listening to arguements provided by "experts".

this causes some interesting things to happen.

firstly people consume this sort of arguement like they consume wrestling; as a circus show.

secondly, they take this mode of communication into thier daily lives and expect eveyone to be "down" with the smackdown responses to comments in conversation.

this sort of pissing engenders a further division of people based on thier political, religious or scientific beliefs, and eventually filters down into the exchange of everything between people.

no wonder we have road rage.

you can get driven off the road and killed now because you don`t drive the same car as the guy behind you.......

Saturday, July 05, 2008

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080705/ap_on_go_su_co/benefit_battles

absolute tragedy. we live in a society dominated by large corporations who take our money under pretense and then refuse to deliver the product or service promised, while hiding behind legislation and legal process designed specifically to financially and emotionally drain private individuals looking for recourse.

we have a choice, but it means turning our backs on the commercial game known as modern society.

our desire to have big houses, shiny new cars and so on traps us in this un-merry-go-round and most only discover the truth when they have to retain a lawyer to keep what they thought was actually thiers in the first place........

what we percieve to be our right to property ownership, political representation, police protection, etc. is a myth that is only shattered by the hard truth of real-time experience.

the truth is that we work for the right to remain in place.

if we remain in place anyway then we have to work less, without the stress of "keeping up" and hoping that our investments and insurance and retirement funds will be substantial when our bodies fail to be able to sustain the rate necessary to earn enough to keep our shit.

ask any retired person what they really know.

many are beginning to realise the truth after years of struggle to attain the "dream" fed us in our youth.........and sadly those who do realise will join thier parent`s generation of dissapointment as they age toward retirement.

or opt out now and begin to enjoy life......in the moment.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

eh?

http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/hughes/29052

all women with long nails, or just some women with long nails, or just the woman quoted?

i would have thought that most women would have been bright enough to figure a work-around for such a problem.......such as not owning the stupid phone in the first place.

jeez.

apple would be foolish to ignore the large market of women with long nails who use cell-phones, and i`m sure they are working feverishly to find a remedy.

on the other hand, it`s possible that women with long nails could effect a look whereby one nail is kept deliberately short so as to facilitate the use of thier trendy tele-communication device, sending a signal to the herd that not only are they hip but bright enough to solve a difficult problem.

now, if only they could drink, drive, talk and watch sex in the city on the overhead dvd screen at the same time...........

chris?

Monday, June 23, 2008

sadly.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080623/us_nm/carlin_dc

the world is a less funny place today after george carlin dies at age 71.

george was best known for the seven words you can`t say on television.

they are as follows; shit, piss, fuck, cunt, motherfucker, cocksucker, and tits.

so lets look closely at these words for a moment and see where the problem may lie.

the first two, shit and piss, are common bodily functions that, while mostly a private matter, are mostly innocuous, unless you have a personal problem with such functions that you may have acquired during your formative years. in which case you could be chronically religious, an accountant, or a member of a broadcast standards committee.

cunt, motherfucker and cocksucker are descriptive of processes of sexuality, and while the terms aren`t particularly elegant, they describe some of my favorite things. she has one, i am one, and i look forward to the act with a fondness that i have for little else.

finally, the word tits. come on people, we were all born to feed at the breast. to refer to them is a homage to nurture and sustenance. to image one is to be at once fed and stimulated.

i can`t think of a finer state to exist in.

thanks for the memories george.

rest in peace, you motherfucker.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

more on morons.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080611/ap_on_re_eu/britain_lost_documents;_ylt=AudNzWJJZWKHtannKP3tVIjxrGIF

where to begin?

ok, firstly.......are these real or manufactured documents?

we have to see who benifits most from documents like this being left on a train.

and being "secret", who could possibly positively identify them other than other bureaucrats?

so who`s to say......

to me, the report seems too facile to be anything but a wind-up job between politicians, but who`s to say.

and entertainment for other morons to cluck on about in the office.

but.......if people in positions of authority who handle such materials are so inept as to leave papers like that on a train, then we need to really begin to mistrust these morons.

my old man worked at aldermaston in the sixties and never once spoke of anything that went on in that top secret facility other than how bureaucratic and "old school tie" everything was.....and his rationalisation was that he signed the british secrets act so he just had to not say anything to anyone.

meanwhile people are allegedly carrying top secret files around in a briefcase on a train.

hmmm.........

duh........

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080611/wl_canada_nm/canada_gamblers_col

this is known in simple terms as a game.

a game played by governments on citizens.

a game called taxation.

exploit the weak and unorganised and uninformed for fun and profit.

the last think a governement wants to do is to deter gamblers from frequenting thier facilities......especially "problem" gamblers.

but, we do it to ourselves. we aren`t strong and organised enough to stop such activities from occuring......either as individuals or in groups.

so, the government preys on it`s citizenry.

but after all, how else does government survive?

how to smile.

remember the last time.

hold that thought.

repeat.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

tad vs. smidgeon.

according to micheal, my youngest boy, the difference between a tad and a smidgeon is that a tad is small but visible and a smidgeon is so small that you can`t see it with the naked eye.

now you know.

Friday, June 06, 2008

funny.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080606/ap_on_sc/japan_iea_climate_change

45 trillion?

is that before or after tax?

oh wait a minute, that is a tax.

the assumption that humans created the increase in global temperature hasn`t been proven. to put a dollar figure on solving such a problem misses this clear point.

fluctuations in solar energy emissions make far more scientific sense than the miniscule energy spike that human energy consumption contributes to the total global heat mass. very few people comment on such an obvious physical reality.

similar to pissing the ocean.......for those who need a metaphor.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

and so........b

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080605/ap_on_re_as/myanmar

we read with horror the way that the burmese government is treating it`s population and can`t understand why they are turning away international aid.

the reason why we can`t understand is because we make several false assumptions regarding what is occuring.

we assume that governments have thier citizen`s best interest in mind.

we assume that life is held in high regard.

we assume that all people think like we do.

the truth is that governments, including our own, are self-serving and will protect themselves from threat.

in burma they had a nice little deal going.......a miltary dictatorship with a visible intimidation force on display constantly for the edification a small community of military and political types living off the backs of a virtual slave-labour force working to keep the holiday camp going.

this system had been ticking over for decades under the radar of the u.n. and the western press, until the cyclone hit and thousands died.

this little embarrassment brought the international media to bear on burma and it`s little game.

the burmese government`s worst nightmare would be international military and civilian forces at large in on it`s soil poking around through files and interviewing survivors and generally shedding light on the burmese junta`s game of holiday camp......so they turn aid away and thousands of people die and suffer.

like new orleans.

do you think our government is any different?

people walk the streets of our country every day suffering their own personal disaster, in numbers far larger than those in burma now, and our government puts our wealth into upgrading it`s systems and structures before it will do one thing to alleviate the suffering.

i know what you are thinking.......let them get jobs.

could you get one quickly if you lost yours?

would you take one paying less?

there is enough resources and money on the planet right now for everyone to live comfortably while factories and robots make and grow all that we need.

computers run everything now anyway and so the running of production of food and materials that way is no problem at all.

it`s happening anyway.

it`s just not for us.

our lives could be made meaningful by interacting with eachother and enoying the abundance of all that surrounds us, but instead we struggle desperately to accumilate stuff while others suffer, and our own government take a large portion of our effort and upgrades it`s systems and structures to protect it`s self agains us.

like in burma.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

some words i`ve come to live by.

1) it`s much easier to ride the horse in the direction he`s going in.

2) don`t try to teach pigs to dance; you`ll get tired, and the you`ll anger the the pig.

3) politics is for politicians.

4) some lies are truer than others.

5) laughter really is the best medicine.

6) tomorrow never comes.

7) guns don`t kill people, people kill people. gun registries are for politicians. see #3

8) we create our own reality with the language we use to describe it. you are proving my point right now by saying what you are saying about this comment.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

live for today.....

.....for tomorrow never comes.

Monday, May 26, 2008

and.....

fuck you too bill......

Friday, May 23, 2008

these words.......

....mean what you think they mean.

you are the god that makes the grass green.

do you believe that?

do you need to believe?

or do you just know?

days like these.

she sat there hunched over.....like a great weight was pressing on her shoulders.

she looked intently at my friend as she talked, as if he could somehow lift the burden that was not allowing her to sit upright in her chair.

as i approached i greeted my friend and smiled at her and saw the pain in her eyes.

she didn`t hold my gaze but looked away and down.

as i got my coffee she said her good-byes and in a moment was gone......and my friend told me what had happened.

her boyfriend had left her.

nothing new in that.....it happens all the time, yet we never get used to the feeling.

the tearing and tearing.

both. at the same time.

i recognised the look in her eyes and knew that she wouldn`t stay.

because she knows what i`ve been through.

nobody told me there would be days like these.......full of pain.

as much as the pain hurt, i knew that it would get better though.

and i knew looking in her eyes that she had no idea.

and if someone had told me there would be days like this i wouldn`t have understood what they meant.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

something funny is going on.

in fact, it`s downright peculiar.

all of the toasters in the known universe are found on the surface of this planet, and nowhere else.

hmmm.

and so, i`m wondering.......is there a planet somewhere that contains all of the lost socks, or do they just vanish into some n-space, never to be seen again?

and for all the athiests out there, i have a question......

who made the device that made the sun?

we are..........

.............the good news.

we are the bad news.

we are the news. period.

which news do you decide to make?

plan to be disappointed at some point in the future?

plan to be happy now, and then?

in case you weren`t aware, these are all choices.

choices that take the same amount of energy.

the good ones and the bad ones.

it takes as much energy and focus to be fat as thin, rich or poor, heathy or ill.

so choose.

when we realise that we are choosing to be fat, ill and broke.......then we can stop.

and choose to be thin, healthy and rich.

or any point in between.

there are no superhumans. none able to work 24 hours a day, or lift 10,000 pounds, or run 200 miles an hour.

some people just think differently.

they think thin, healthy and rich......

.....and thier lives resonate with the thought.

and the reverse is true also.

but it is tragic that most think that the reverse is the only reality.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

moved by the thrill of the upcoming day.

the football match to come.....

the smiles.

the running.

the scoring of goals.

and the opportunity to share with someone special.

Friday, May 16, 2008

compatability.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080514/ap_on_re_us/cat_personality

finally, a news article containing good news.

and it reminds me of how we find ourselves with someone that we have feelings for that we aren`t compatable with, yet we persist in trying to make it work.

i wish there had been a test like that for me on more than one occasion.

though there is plentyoffish.......

where i met someone so remarkably compatable with me that i`m still in shock.

she actually likes who i am.

and as much as i dislike (feel uncomfortable about?) dating sites, i have to say that sometimes they work to find someone to be happy with.

so today it`s all good for cats and people.....who act like a fish for a while.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

that`ll help.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080515/wl_africa_afp/zimbabweeconomyforex

when will people realise that politics is for politicians........

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

celebration.

in the midst of turmoil and challenge we can find a reason celebrate.

in fact we must.

the simple fact that something magical and wonderous is occuring around us all the time.......is reason enough to be filled with joy.

even for a moment.

and that moment of elation is enough.

that moment sweeps everything else away.

you know it does.

a smile.

the sight of a flock of geese, like fighter jets flying low.

the perfect cup of coffee.

to ride like the wind.

to know you will fall in love agian.

because you will.

why do we blog?

age old question.

the blog is a modern form of the journal. it allows us to write things down as they come so that we can externalise our thoughts and see them in a different light.

this process lets us see different ways of coping with what sometimes becomes too difficult to handle otherwise.

the past few years have been a time of transition for me, from one form of existance to another.

a metamorphosis.

this blog has been a chronicle of the transition.

one day i will let my children read parts, as they come to thier own challenges, and hopefully it will provide a different dimension for them as they grow into men.

many have read bits, and followed chapters, and commented and helped as they could, and some have come out of judgement found thier "proof" without asking......and i`m ok with that because the benifits i recieve far outweigh the loss of the consideration of those sorts.

this blog is a filter. a test. a work in progress and a celebration.

this blog contains a major part of my life, and i go back and read entries from years ago and remember them like it was now.

like the friend you have known for years who doesn`t judge, but remembers........

a man once said to me as we struggled to get through something we were doing.

he said "we are stronger than we think we are".

this is one way of proving that.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

the mind.

the mind is what we are training. the body just follows blindly along.

what we decide to do, in our mind, makes our bodies go.

when we realise this we begin to prepare our mind more carefully.....

otherwise the careless mind puts the stupid robot body in harm`s way.

the pictures we show ourselves and the voices we hear in our heads make us feel things in our bodies as commands, sensations and emotions.

what pictures are you choosing to show yourself?

just a dream.

i saw the warm green grass under the stade of the tree and lay down for a moment to rest.

i dreamed of the touch of her skin against mine.

real.......

and as always i reached for her and failed.

she knows this, and waits.

Friday, May 09, 2008

strange energy.

there was, and still is, a strange energy about the town today.

i rode into starbucks looking to see if her car was there and saw that the coast was clear, and got a bagel.

by the time i put my hand on the door of the coffee shop i noticed her going in the inside door ahead of me.............

another opportunity to use my jedi mastery (for fuck`s sake...why didn`t it work before it was too late?)

so wtf? why is it that we are continually doing this?

my games, her games, what. the. fuck.

i am grateful that the wound has healed at least superficially and that i can function normally, for the most part.

i find myself going over so much of what we did and said together and it is so alien to me that a woman would choose to do what she did.

a short period on a dating site (plenty of fish.) allowed me the distict pleasure of meeting a woman who is as into me as i am into her. we have enjoyed two dates together, and i will see her again tonight.

and there are no buts.

no looking back.

and the strange energy of the town was evident on the roads.

apparently there was an accident on the highway and there was about double the normal traffic on the roads.

it was sunny though and my spirits were high and that`s the main thing.

and i`m looking forward to seeing my new friend tonight.......