Monday, March 06, 2006

a description of the universe.

imagine that you are sitting inside a ball that is about ten feet in diameter. the inside of this ball is coated in a perfect mirror substance that reflects images of yourself back to you everywhere you look.
that is the best description that i`ve ever heard of the universe.
everywhere we look we see ourselves.
do you like what you see?
begin to.
begin to love what you see.
everything.
why?
because that`s how unconditional love operates.
unconditional means without conditions.
any change in that means that it cannot be unconditional.
when you make any other judgement of what you see that is other than love, you aren`t looking at your reflection in a loving way.
it`s hard.
nobody ever said it would be easy.
it means practicing until it starts to come with less effort.
we have been set at odds with ourselves for so long that it becomes a struggle against everything we believe in to take back our love for ourselves.
there is no support group for this stuff. it is a lonely path. until one day you wake up and it all makes sense and you laugh because you realise that it always had been that way.
you have been waiting for yourself to emerge and when you arrive it`s like meeting an old friend. you hug and smile and hug some more and say that you missed your friend so much and that you want to see them again soon.
the hugging goes deep into your soul and begins to heal and strengthen and clarify all the things that you have questioned in your life.
and then the feeling goes away as quickly as it came.
but it`s o.k. because your friend loves you unconditionally and will never betray that love or forget to write or forget your birthday or whatever.
because this is you.
loving yourself unconditionally.

14 comments:

anu said...

Dr every morning i condition my mind of all the good things we talk about. I barely leave my home and i am back lost in the same shit once again.

It just took my boss one rating to displace me of my mind today. Apparently i expected an outstanding rating during the annual appraisal. My boss agreed to this on the work front but pulled me down on an issue i am unable to come to terms with in my mind. I tried discussing it with him but no use. And this is disturbign me in my mind.

My boss said becoz i have not made ammeds with the earlier superior (the guy who abused me) and i still harbour hard feelings towards him, he is pulling down my rating. He says i need to break the wall btwn me and that guy, knowing very well that that guy was partly responsible for the kidney failure itself (i had stopped eating or drinking water for days and months at work due to stress and pressure)

Dr i cannot imagien that this idiot of a guy is haunting me even without him being there and i am being pressurised to make up with him. I know my boss wants me to forgive. But i am so angry that that guy is still affecting me Dr, despite all the work i have done, they pulled me down becoz of 'him'.

How can i love myself here? I am so angry that this is happenning. i cannot make out how i created this reality. Why do they want me to make ammends with him? Why should i be punished becoz i did not go to him with sugar coat words?

Are there any hidden beliefs here you see Dr?

anu said...

Dr every morning i condition my mind of all the good things we talk about. I barely leave my home and i am back lost in the same shit once again.

It just took my boss one rating to displace me of my mind today. Apparently i expected an outstanding rating during the annual appraisal. My boss agreed to this on the work front but pulled me down on an issue i am unable to come to terms with in my mind. I tried discussing it with him but no use. And this is disturbign me in my mind.

My boss said becoz i have not made ammeds with the earlier superior (the guy who abused me) and i still harbour hard feelings towards him, he is pulling down my rating. He says i need to break the wall btwn me and that guy, knowing very well that that guy was partly responsible for the kidney failure itself (i had stopped eating or drinking water for days and months at work due to stress and pressure)

Dr i cannot imagien that this idiot of a guy is haunting me even without him being there and i am being pressurised to make up with him. I know my boss wants me to forgive. But i am so angry that that guy is still affecting me Dr, despite all the work i have done, they pulled me down becoz of 'him'.

How can i love myself here? I am so angry that this is happenning. i cannot make out how i created this reality. Why do they want me to make ammends with him? Why should i be punished becoz i did not go to him with sugar coat words?

Are there any hidden beliefs here you see Dr?

dr.alistair said...

the distinction between what you can change and what you cannot is the key here. it can be very frustrating when people don`t see your point of view in a situation. accepting where you don`t have options is the key. i didn`t say that you should forget the issue though......
what do you want your character to be in this sort of situation?

anu said...

When we say our thoughts make our world, doesnt it mean that i created the above situation? Shud i not go into the whys of that?

How can we say both? Thoughts create our reality and yet that this situation is out of our control.

"what do you want your character to be in this sort of situation?" - what does this mean Dr?

anu said...

When we say our thoughts make our world, doesnt it mean that i created the above situation? Shud i not go into the whys of that?

How can we say both? Thoughts create our reality and yet that this situation is out of our control.

"what do you want your character to be in this sort of situation?" - what does this mean Dr?

dr.alistair said...

good questions.
firstly, you did create the situation. let it go. there is no need to go into the whys......that is attachment.
what is done is done.
move on.
what do you want your character to be.......means what outcome is needed, how will you act, what do you want to happen?
these decisions will determine what happens next.

anu said...

I just want an outstanding rating (which is 1). I know i deserve it.

But my boss says no one ever gets that in the company and that pisses me off. He seemed to need just about 'any' reason to reduce the rating. So he has brought it down to a 1.6.

He says he did that becoz in corporates you cannot and should not have 'cold wars' and this will affect my future. And in this case i am sort of by not communicating to that guy at all having a cold war.

Here i have two grudges:
1. Boss used my past issues to lower the rating becoz he could not find any other premise to do so.

2. He is asking me to patch up with somone who did everything in his power to dismiss me from the job and i hold him partly responsible for the failed kidneys too.

I know i cannot do anything about point 1. But am i supposed to patch up becoz that is how it is in the corporate world? And in that process of 'trying to forgive' i will heal and my kidneys will revive and my wounds will be closed?

Am i not lowering myself down or giving away my self esteem to an asshole of a guy who actually played with my career and life.

See Dr? my blood is already begun to boil.

But all of this is not worrying me as much as this:

This guy though he is not concerned with me at all, still he has indireclty affected my appraisal and i cannot take it Dr.
I wish my boss used some other way to reduce my rating. He actually said it is becoz i am not on talking terms with this guy. And that this idiot can still affect me is making me so angry.

anu said...

okay! i guess i am repeating the same things again and again.

I just dont care much about even the appraisal. I want my peace of mind back! thats all.

I dont want an asheesh (his name) to affect me or at least i dont want to lose sleep over the fact that this has happenned.

I'm begining to see how precious is my peace of mind since this has happenned Dr. Every time i lose it i miss it so much that nothing else matters.

dr.alistair said...

if you can see the image of the person that you had a problem with in your mind now then you can see him wearing a clown nose when he speaks and whan he speaks it`s in a high pitched squeaky mouse voice like in a cartoon. the more you laugh, the more he squeaks until he flys off and away like a balloon thats lost it`s air.
you must laugh at your own anger.
it`s funny too.
can you see yourself in the mirror with a clown nose on.........?

dr.alistair said...

your own mind (consciousness) is all that has ever existed......when you decide to have peace all of the disturbances to that peace must be released. all that is left then is peace.
it rests in unconditional love for yourself.
peace. love.
same thing.
so precious.
why ever give it up?

anu said...

haha :) yes and i really did enjoy his act too.

Dr warm hugs and deep kisses to you

I think you rock!

anu said...

right and giving it up anything,least of all asheesh is not even worth it!

This is so wonderful Dr, i was just thinking that it will take me hours of work now to get the peace back.

It took you only pico seconds to direct me to the right path Dr.

I shall carry this with me to work close to my heart.

dr.alistair said...

thank you............:)

dr.alistair said...

it took you only that long to recognise the truth and let it go.
that lesson is hard learned by most.........the path is simple. we complexify by trying to be clever.
that is the noise the ego makes when it wants attention.
the truth gets spoken quietly and innocently. the enlightened consciousness is sensitive to the whisper..........
no fanfare or brass band.
just peace.
lying in and amongst the tiny flowers on the side of a hill in the sunlight.....warm with the sun.
a simple fleeting thought.
what is real?
whatever you choose.