Sunday, March 26, 2006

unconditional love.

to clarify what is meant by unconditional love it is useful to explore the meaning of the opposite. conditional love is a situation whereby some action has to be performed before the love is provided, or there that is an ongoing expectation of some action or state to exist or be provided for the love to exist or be provided. this is the description of what most people experience in relationships, with others or with themselves. it may come as a surprise to realise that this is true until you begin to look for situations where unconditional love exists.
where do you find unconditional love?
one would expect to find this state in newlyweds or between mothers and thier children or between old friends, but one finds that even these relationships evolve around the performance of accomplishments, standards and compliance. these are the types of conditions that are familiar to most in contract law and not in loving why do they occur?
because we live in a reality created by and for the bureaucrat that has infected the very essense of our language and culture. it has fragmented the consciousness of society and divided our spiritual developement, setting us against ourselves and eachother.
it is the bureaucratisation of our psyches.
we are conditioned to polarise our very core nature into believing that we are playing catchup with everyone else for the prize of being the we can win the prize of being loved.
babies have to grow up to be lawyers and doctors to make thier mothers be proud.
a husband has to get raises at work to be a good man.
a friend has to agree with your rambling..................
realising that this is all a game is the first step to re-integrating the self back to wholeness. to unconditional love. only then can we get off everyone else`s case about who did what to who and why it matters.
resist the urge.
stop making contracts with your emotions.
stop withholding love until such time as something happens to make things better. they are as good as they are ever going to get right now.
isn`t that good enough?


anu said...

When i keep complaining about the kidneys and the job and the raise...i am not loving myself enough? Becoz i am expecting all these things and hence not accepting the state i am in the present?

So that makes my love to myself too conditional or at least there are periods in between when i go through these 'i did not get this' syndrome.

dr.alistair said...

when you practice in and out of love for yourself you are able to recognise the distinctions. it is not for anyone else to judge or even suggest the details of life. if you ask what do in need to do to love myself, then you have answered the question.
you don`t need to ever have to do anything to recieve love. we are not seperate from it unless we create the divide and re-enforce the divide through the defining of conditions.
one could say that the defining of contracts is the description of how to hate.
the modern concept of the pre-nuptual agreement is one such torture device.
our natural state is one of being one with everything else. this state is love. any seperation from this is created via conditions constructed by thinking. clauses in a contract.
we don`t have to go searching for cures. we don`t have to go searching for love. they are inside all that we all are together as one as part of the universe. it is only the intellect that seperates. out of fear.

dr.alistair said...

yes, acceptance brings one back to love. sitting quietly accepting. deeply powerful. it makes way for the natural process of healing. to sit quietly accepting sends the signal to the body to go back to healing. the tingling begins automatically. you begin to sense it and expect to feel it in precisely the areas that you need it. just as your fingers sprout from the ends of your palms and the hair on your head from your scalp. the body doesn`t forget.
it can be shocked into stopping, but that`s behind you now. let that go. accept the process of healing and practice recognising the sensation as it travels around inside. will it to go where you know it needs to go to do the work.

anu said...

I have tears in my eyes reading your powerful and loving messages Dr Alistair.

Thank you. I'll work in that direction.

dr.alistair said... is a blessing to be alive. (pass it on.)