Sunday, March 19, 2006

self-talk.

what conversation goes on in your head?
what was the last thing that you said to yourself that made you do something?
really think now, what were the words you used, what tone of voice did you use, were you nice about it or were you demanding?

when you think for a minute about what goes on in your head while you are travelling around you are quite surprised to find that you go through a rainbow of emotions while talking to yourself. your mood varies based on how you manage to accomplish the things you need to do in your day.
what kind of mood are you in while you are telling yourself what to do?
be honest about this..............becase it`s about as important as it gets.
would you talk to other people this way?
how would you like to be talked to if you had a choice?
imagine talking to yourself like that right now. be careful to notice the tone, volume and rhythm of the voice that is encouraging you to do things the way you want to be spoken to.
once you have a model for this ideal voice in your head, then practice seeing how you respond to varying the volume, tone and speed of the voice. do you notice differences in how you feel as a response?
notice the difference between how you would like to be spoken to and how you have found yourself talking in the past.
the voice in your head makes your feet go. where your feet go, your consciousness follows.
change the driver, change the road...............
change your world.
p.s......... if you have a favorite actor or person you know you can use thier voice in your head as a model. this favorite voice can be the guide to your next great accomplishment. or meditation.

3 comments:

anu said...

When i read self-talk. I thought this may be a post on giving oneself a pep-talk.

But this is about 'how' we talk to ourselves. I must confess that this is something i have never bothered to focus.

Most often than not, i am ordering myself to do this or that, if something happens not to my expectations, i would feel bad or hurt or sad, thereby telling myself what a bad girl i have been to not have accomplished this. Earlier i would beat myself up so much by discounting myself that i would end up depressed. Now-a-days it is slightly better as i watch myself doing this and STOP.

I have noticed that when i'm trying to meditate or sit and watch around, the old thoughts / beliefs / feelings become empowered. I mean, the mind starts wandering to the exbf, the incidents which happenned then, the stuff which happenned at work and i just begin to feel the pain and hurt and sadness of it, when i see that and deliberately snap out of it.

Sometimes i am already wallowing in self-pity and feeling like a miserable victim asking 'why did this have to happen to me', and i suddenly notice that what ought to have been a peaceful meditation has ended up being a digging of the grave experience and the old ghosts are dancing all around me. I again snap and turn my focus.

I force myself to think of something better. Or to not dig the grave. It is taking tremondous effort.

And i dont know if this snap and shut up which i do to my mind is a good thing or no. But if i am patient with her, she will soon be hounded by the ghosts of thoughts.

How can i tame these ghosts so that they dont hound me ever? How can i think of all this laugh and let go and not be scared that they will take over my life if i dwell in them?

I am still scared of the past. Of the exbf, the abusive boss, the failed kidneys. They are all unresolved and i still dont have any answers as to why it had to happen like this.

dr.alistair said...

no answers, only choices.......and telling the voice that chastises to shut the fuck up........:-)

anu said...

hehe :) that sounds more like it.

The moment i read your words, i felt so much more in control.

Thank you Dr. Warm Hugs :)