Monday, March 27, 2006

we are a bit of something else..............

when i treat clients i work to finding the nature of thier environment because to treat them as an individual will work temporarily........until they get in thier car and return home or to work. i need to know what they are a part of so that i can understand the environmental pressures and supports they live with.
we are all individuals with our own problems, but if you are dealing with an issue everyone else you come into contact with is too. this goes as big as the whole of the planet. we are all part of this global community. as we all heal so does everyone else.
a rising tide raises all ships.
the traditional psychological/medical models treat the symptoms of the individual. the shaman realised that an illness is the product of the whole environment. the village,the town, the city and the culture it`s self is part of the cause of each of our wellness and needs to be adressed.
the more bits created means the more repitition of the same work for each of the bits created by the fragmenting process. or we can treat the whole system from the top down.
the teacher teaches the child.......but the parents need to be involved, and the brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and grandparents. otherwise we are creating lost souls to wander lost forever.
integration is the key.

12 comments:

anu said...

A lot does depends on the environmental conditioning and support system - This is true Dr.

When i had that unreasonable boss at work, my parents were desperate to get me married. So, at work that guy used to yell at me and at home my parents would scold me and even slap me at times.

My only solace was my a person i fell in love with, who i used to talk to on the net. He has been highly therapetic to me at that time, pointing out to me the abuse as i had no idea it was that. Since many parts of me changed and many aspects came out, is probably why i am still in love with him while he is not. But he would always say he is going in search of his soul so he can never meet me. He told me he was much younger then in his late 20s.

I fell very sick in Jan'04 and parents refused to take me to the hospital. They thought i was being dramatic as i refused to marry the guys they had selected for me. FInally i took some money and got myself admitted on my own in the hospital, after my ex insisted that i do that. Then i was diagnosed with the kidney failure.

Subsequently, i told my parents to stop interfering in my life and taking my decisions and making me feel guilty if i dont listen to them.

Later when i resumed work after one month's hospitalisation, the unresonable superior started to scream and yell at me again and i started skipping dialysis. Finally in Jan'05 i put in my papers but told my company i am going to write to our parent company in Los Angels about my experience. That is when the top management woke up and they transferred me from this guy to a new group, which is far more peaceful and productive.

My ex and i were going to marry. I had told my parents too about it. They were shocked but i told them i am going to proceed anyways.

When i did meet my ex in real. he said for reasons i dont know, that he could not connect to me at all. And i have still not got over it. As i cannot fathom how one can fall out of love like that?

Earlier he would tell me, even if i am on drips he loves me. But now his priorities have changed. He has moved on.

anu said...

So many strange developments right Dr? All in the last three years.

If someone had told me that my story will be as sensational as this three years ago, i wouldnt have believed him/her.

Sometimes i feel, i've jumped a probability to experience a different life with a different set of conditions.

I have lost my kidneys but gained my freedom - to think, talk, work both at home and at work no one bullies me now.

My parents have changed for the better and respect my feelings now. And at work they have acknowledged (at least verbally if not monetarily) that i'm really good at what i do.

The mystrey about my relationship is something i havent been able to solve. It has broken my heart. And i am still struggling to get over it.

And of course, the kidneys...i do hope just for myself i can cure it. Not becoz i want to live any longer. Becoz i dont think it ought to have been so sick at all. It was probably under great pressure owing to the other events in my life. It was probably the turning point.

But i want it to breathe now. I dont believe it is dead. I think it lives, it is just a bit hurt and upset, is all!

dr.alistair said...

this situation gives you the opportunity to find your self and accept you so that you will recogignise that acceptance in others. you have chosen a path of enlightenment. nobody told you it was going to be easy........but nobody told you it would be this hard either. well, that`s the thing about going the distance.....most people can`t keep rowing the boat or pedalling the bike or just living every day to it`s fullest anyway. they have to fall back to the comfort of misery, where all the other miserable people are. it`s comfortable and miserable. you, on the other hand have had a taste of something else, something special, and you are demanding more.......
good.
now the work begins.
nothing dramatic, but all the same deadly serious. we are talking life and death here.
the life of happiness in unconditional love for yourself, or a slow tortuous death of guilt and obligation to anyone who raises thier voice or demands that you are reasonable about giving up your value in yourself for the "greater good".
live in love or die every day? hmm, quite a choice.

dr.alistair said...

there are times where you notice distinct changes in the whole of your world. it is as if everything is different. today is one of those days for me. the sun was shining and it was warm for the first time since summer so everyone`s mood was high, but it was more than that.it was as if i`d walked through a door into another reality. one so exactly the same as the other one that you barely noticed it, but everything was new. one of my friends said casually and with a sigh, that we are all going to do well this year.......he is a chiropractor and we were sitting an another friend`s office who is also a chiropractor and it was at that moment that i realised that i was in a new universe. i had "jumped the probability" as you put it. maybe it was ganesh? it was certainly the culmination of my intent to allow the universe to make the changes needed and i asked that i would know when the time was here. and here we are.............are you ready?

anu said...

yea i am :)

There is something more to all this. And this uncertainity makes it far more passionate and exciting than ever.

Sometimes we feel we've crossed over from one lifetime into another and then into yet another, becoz though the people are the same, yet they've changed. The world around is the same, yet it is so different.

And we wonder:
"Am i am man dreaming of a butterfly,
or a butterfly dreaming of a man!"

anu said...

Dr? what makes you feel i'm on the path of enlightenment.

BTW, Ganesh is the god indians pray to before begining a new task. Ganesh is the remover of all obstacles and conflicting beliefs. He signifies new beginings. And his elephant head signifies great wisdom, compassion and love.

dr.alistair said...

a man once told a story about a race of people who were given the gift of being able to dream anything that they wanted to. they could indulge and create and destroy and rebuild and love and wander and invent and live fantastic lives full of excitement and adventure and danger and mystery. but pretty soon they got bored and got used to all the vast abundance of everthing around them and things settled down to everyday boredom in paradise and people eventually forgot they were just dreaming and turned to the mundane and trivial to occupy thier boredom. until one day people found themselves asking questions of people who seemed to be enlightened about such things and as an answer a man told a story about a race of people who were given a gift.............

dr.alistair said...

you are on the path of enlightenment because you appear that way to me. those appearances are that which i recognise as acceptance, patience, willingness to forgive the self and plainly asking how to live a more meaningful life. also the ability to recognise insights and the experiences of someone who has seen some things. trust me when i say that things were not always enlightened for me. we come to the light through the dark. i just chose to give up the struggle, the anger and the will to control. upon reflection i don`t even know why........but i would never go back to forcing my life. maybe it was having children that made me begin to search for a more meaningful existance.
that is certainly a big part of it.
i knew that i needed to get to love one day..........i`m glad it`s now.
i remember there were times where i couldn`t even say the word. that`s how much pain i was in. so i know the difference and recognise it in others.
enlightenment is love.
when we think we have it in another and it goes away.........we have been fooled. that is an illusion.
it is pain.
it is within our self, this love. when you find it there then you can begin to share it with others. then your universe changes. you jump the probability.

anu said...

Wow what an amazing story Dr Alistair. We are the people! We have got the gift! How lovely. I want to strive to remember this when i get into my lows and downs.

I want to remind myself that instead of saying "But"or "If only", i choose to say "What if.."

What if my kidneys heal?
What if my heart heals and so does all the relationships i've had so far?
What if i learn martial arts from the shaolin temple?
What if i can go to the Alps to paint?
What if i never have to work for someone and i find something very passionate to do which i really love?
What if lovely affectionate amazing peaceful funloving people are all around me?

I can have no ends to the What ifs...So thank you for the amazing story Dr. Now i just need to remember this whenever i go down the valley.

The first thing i do, when i get home is after i change i sit to read your blog. What if i find something in to bring me peace, calm, bliss and joy?:)

anu said...

Dr Alistair that i am on the path of enlightenment is the greatest compliment i've ever received.

Everytime you guide me into my center and i come back at the end of the day with more and more issues. I used to wonder whether you are having your own doubts on whether i'm really working on these issues or merely pretending to. I do really work on it, but it keeps comming back. I am trying so hard all the time, but it is taking time to get over and done with these lessons. But i think i'm far better now after your constant reiterating of unconditional love for self. At least i'm begining to notice when i dont feel too good and relate it to lack of nurturing i'm giving myself. So i am really thankful for your insight on this. As it feels like encouragement for someone who is walking in the dark and yet to see a ray of light.

Dr Alistair, frankly speaking, i could never imagine you as anything less perfect than what you appear to me. Becoz of the depth in your words and the conviction and simplicity with which you come across. There is a certain ease and approachability in you. I would be so nervous to talk to a 'certified hypnotherapist, nlp practitioner and a doctor who is doing his doctorate in divinity'. But it is so easy to be with you.

I trust you Dr, when you say that the pain is not real but love is. And that love comes from within and not from others. It is no wonder that you are so kind and compassionate towards my constant ramblings and complaints about the pain in my love-life.

You've been there and done that. This is so inspiring. Seeing how loving, strong, at ease, blissful and at peace you today, i'm also having faint hopes that i'll be able to make the distance someday, if i keep working on it.

I think that is all is my purpose in life now. For everything seems to center around that. That is all i want and that is all i need!

Someday, when i have healed myself body and mind, and have created enough abundance, i hope to fly down to thank you for all the work you are doing on me. :)

anu said...

Dr Alistair that i am on the path of enlightenment is the greatest compliment i've ever received.

Everytime you guide me into my center and i come back at the end of the day with more and more issues. I used to wonder whether you are having your own doubts on whether i'm really working on these issues or merely pretending to. I do really work on it, but it keeps comming back. I am trying so hard all the time, but it is taking time to get over and done with these lessons. But i think i'm far better now after your constant reiterating of unconditional love for self. At least i'm begining to notice when i dont feel too good and relate it to lack of nurturing i'm giving myself. So i am really thankful for your insight on this. As it feels like encouragement for someone who is walking in the dark and yet to see a ray of light.

Dr Alistair, frankly speaking, i could never imagine you as anything less perfect than what you appear to me. Becoz of the depth in your words and the conviction and simplicity with which you come across. There is a certain ease and approachability in you. I would be so nervous to talk to a 'certified hypnotherapist, nlp practitioner and a doctor who is doing his doctorate in divinity'. But it is so easy to be with you.

I trust you Dr, when you say that the pain is not real but love is. And that love comes from within and not from others. It is no wonder that you are so kind and compassionate towards my constant ramblings and complaints about the pain in my love-life.

You've been there and done that. This is so inspiring. Seeing how loving, strong, at ease, blissful and at peace you today, i'm also having faint hopes that i'll be able to make the distance someday, if i keep working on it.

I think that is all is my purpose in life now. For everything seems to center around that. That is all i want and that is all i need!

Someday, when i have healed myself body and mind, and have created enough abundance, i hope to fly down to thank you for all the work you are doing on me. :)

dr.alistair said...

that would be a nice day.