Saturday, February 10, 2007

love what you do........

................and you`ll never work another day in your life.

my ex left me because she said i didn`t know the meaning of hard work.

well i do........

and i prefer not to.

i`m not adversed to building a deck or installing hardwood flooring or finishing basements.

i did that for 12 years.

what i have to show for that is the remnants of a sore back, a surgically repaired left bicep and many months and years of lost life due to fatigue.

i know what your thinking..........everyone has to earn a living, and you are correct.

and this goes to my point.

when i decided, and my ex agreed, that i change careers and start a therapy clinic i immediately felt that i`d made the right decision.

and so did my clients.

people lost weight, stopped smoking, dealt with anxiety and generally began to make improvements in thier lives as a result of my work.

raising two boys and working from home meant that i had to juggle clients and be a full-time dad while my ex went on with her career in nursing.

and i was fine with that.

my fees are reasonable for the industry and allowed us to pretty much kill a $300.000. mortgage in 15 years.

so when my common-law spouse of 15 years announced that she was going to sell the house and wanted to seperate..........

.......i was more than mildly suprised.

i was more suprised when she expressed her belief that the house was hers.

she told me that she felt that i wasn`t actually working and that i was sitting around talking...........

well, no shit. that`s what councelling is.

well so here we are, fast forwarded six months.

we have been to court twice and are going back in april to negotiate a settlement under the family law reform act here in ontario that allows for shit like this to be taken to a civil court in 2007.

so i`ve been writing this blog to keep some semblance of sanity while this all goes on.

i`ve lost my ability to earn a decent living in my home of 15 years and struggle to see clients in this crumbling old apartment or go to thier home when thats suitable.

and i only get to see my kids when they are too much for her to handle on week-ends.

but you know what?

i love what i do and all this just makes me determined to find financing to open a clinic before spring.


BBC said...

Been there, done that. Of course they think they should get the house.

I decided to do it the easy the last time.

Signed over a quick claim deed and went merrily on my way. No point in my making attorney's any richer. It's just so much easier on the brain to move on quickly.

You start getting your life back in order that way also. Fuck all that court stuff. It was just money.

I've given away my share of three homes, it's a piece of cake. Just keep on trucking, never looking back.

Just give it to her and move on, always keep looking forward.

barista grazioso said...

Hi Doc. I ambled over here from my pal Hammer's site, but this wasn't quite what I was expecting. But as in all things, there's always a reason.

I'm so very sorry you're going through this. It sounds like she decided to change course halfway through the ride and has an entitlement mentality? Anyway, I'm very sorry and I hope it gets straightened out soon so you can move fast forward. Best regards! barista

Jon said...

You either love what you do or you love the money. I've never found an in-between.

cmeddie said...

Sorry to hear about the ex.

But loving what you do is key to a happy life. Good luck with it all!

dr.alistair said...

barista, thanks for stopping by and for the kind words.

billy, well, you are right. if all goes well in the next few months i won`t need to pursue a finacial remedy in the courts and she can be happy in her misery........

cmeddie, loving what you do is the key. you bet.

jon, you know me. i`m not an in-between kinda guy. hunt and kill would be a fairer description.

barista grazioso said...

hunt and kill is good. I'm a girl, and I prefer it that way. Hm. Thanks for the welcome Doc (that's your nickname now btw). I was in your shoes a long time ago with 2 girls, obviously of a different gender. If you need a cheerleader, I can do that. Best regards! barista

dr.alistair said...

thanks again for the support.
what else is there but hunt and kill?

everything else is a metaphor for the process anyway.......

cheers appreciated.

jlhart7 said...

Hang in there

dr.alistair said...

thanks bud.......

glad to know you still read here occasionally.