Sunday, February 18, 2007

the path that is to be walked.

i cannot begin to describe what has happened in the last 30 hours.

my mind won`t let me think clearly enough to begin.

so i will begin to type and see where i end up.

i began writing this blog to gain some perspective some months ago as things began to come apart in a phase in my life.

i have faith in my love for myself and for life and that drives me forward each day.

the rewards i have gained as a result of this faith are indescribable.

the disintegration of the family i had worked toward building was painful at first but as i moved forward i realised that things were going to be ok and i was still going to have my children happily in my life.

my business has taken some remarkably positive turns recently that are going to play out substantially in the next few weeks.

so things are good.

so i cannot believe what has happened here.

i am stunned.

bill, brother.................. you warned me.

i don`t even know how to put this into a readable post.

but she`s gone.

no phone calls.

no e-mails.


it was as if those few kisses were enough.

i can`t call any more for feeling like a fool.


BBC said...


I didn't want to be right

I'm just more experienced is all


Don't worry about it

In fact, be thankful

She did you a favor maybe

BTW, does she know of your blog?

BBC said...

Let me tell you something

When a guy gets a ladies email address that he is interested in

He starts sending her too much stuff

It overwhelms her

Scares her

Women generaly work slower and differently

Remember that in the future

dr.alistair said...

no she doesn`t know about hypgnosys.

and i know that you didn`t want to be right.

since she fucking kissed me.......and then had to leave, i thought i should try and contact her.

i still have absolutely no clue.

shit day.

more to come.

it will get better.

fucking shit.

BBC said...

Ah, women use kisses for all sorts of things.

Move on, always be looking forward.

Besides, it's too early in the game for you to sweat getting together with another woman right now.

Don't you fucking know anything?


dr.alistair said...

no i don`t.

it`s taking a lot to not call her right now.

that will get easier over time.

a part of me dies each night alone though.

i`ve just got used to the feeling.

Hammer said...

Damn I've been there too. Sorry man, sometimes I think men get hurt worse and just are expected to shrug it off.

Hope things clear up some.

dr.alistair said...

hammer, i am a warrior and i honour my wounds and my pain.

i don`t know how another person suffers until they take the time to share.

in honouring myself i will take this lesson and become more guarded as a result.

i am mourning the loss of my open heart more than anything.

and maybe hers too.