everyone`s trip is different. everyone`s perceptions are different. the words i`m typing here now mean different things to each of you reading them. what you need to do is read, listen and practice all you can to grow and be involved in your life and then now and then get very quiet and still for long enough to be able to hear the quiet inner voice that speaks occasionally, because my trip isn`t your trip. your trip is your trip.
you may have done many of the things i`ve suggested and nothing happened for you because of precisely what i`m refering to here. you are on your own journey of exploration and enlightenment and i can only make suggestions and say what has worked for me.
your inner voice will speak clearly to you if you listen hard and long and quietly enough. i promise you that.