Saturday, July 15, 2006

a dillema.

i met a girl some months ago and my heart healed instantly from the pain of a failing relationship. i took our meeting as a gift from the universe and i never expected to see her again after that night. i didn`t know her name or anything and after a two hour conversation about everything and nothing all at the same time i rode off into the night, unattached and blissfully happy.
i have seen her a few times since and each time we have had this spark that has my heart lifted high, yet each time i leave without her number.
this last time she asked me to come with her and her friends for a drink and i politely and honestly turned her down, much to her disappointment.
i know that all that i am involved in with the end of a 14 year relationship and the legal battle that is preparing to ensue is not what a girl half my age needs in her life and so my heart is heavy with that. i need to tell her my feelings and give her the chance to understand.
she looks at me with such intensity and i know what she`s saying.
life is a bitch sometimes.........yet even so, so unutterably beautiful.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Take a chance.

Why not try to keep her away from the "battle" if she seems to be uncomfortable with it. You never know she may see you as a noble and honourable warrior in that battle if you conduct yourself that way.

I wish you well.

dr.alistair said...

thanks for your kind words. i cannot make any criticism of your suggestion as i believe it is made out of the same honour and nobility as your comment. i am sure that i will see that woman again and hope that i can make my feelings clear. she has the right to be able to make her own mind up about the situation also.........

anu said...

Is this your coffee friend? :)

Dr. if we love yourself truly unconditionally, we will let her love flow into our lives naturally without holding back.

The end of the 14-yr old relationship and the probable legal battle is merely information to her (which you may share with her when you feel appropriate) but nothing more than that.

Look Dr? You've created so beautifully...you're just out of one major relationship and this one is just waiting to happen. This universe times everything so perfectly :)

Trust yourself on your creations Dr. by being aware and noticing 'your' feelings, while you're with her and without her.

dr.alistair said...

well yes. that first meeting was two months ago and i rode home in heaven. all i could see was the smile on her face as i rode off. that look washed away years of weight.
what i have created is so beautiful.
i am stunned.
i asked for beauty, didn`t i?
in all that i`ve written.
the timing.
wow.

anu said...

You are a mind-blowing creator Dr.

And when you want something, I see how the whole universe conspires to make your dreams come true :)

dr.alistair said...

yes, i will continue to move forward into the new reality. we don`t really have any choice anyway..........